MARRIAGE NEWS WATCH

WATCH: Last Week for a Prop 8 Ruling

At this point, the Supreme Court feels a bit like a vending machine with a bag of Fiddle Faddle stuck to a prong just millimeters from falling. When will we finally get what we’ve been waiting for?

The lack of ruling today means that we could be getting a decision tomorrow. (Or the day after. Or the day after that.) All we know is that it’ll have to happen this week.

When it comes, the justices may heighten the suspense with what’s known in legal circles as the “Old Horace Lurton Fakeout.” Named for an early 20th-century Justice, this occurs when they pretend that they’re done issuing decisions and start walking out, then run back into the courtroom and yell “ONE MORE THING!” Then the Justices tell everyone to look under their seats, and it turns out the ruling has been there all along. Everyone in the courtroom also gets an expensive watch and a year’s supply of really nice high-quality ketchup. They all start crying and hugging each other.

It’s really beautiful to see the American justice system at work.

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