Any regular reader of Raising My Rainbow is familiar with the story of CJ, his mom and their family, though finally you can put a face to the blog. Lori Duron has always kept her son’s identity secret, and until she wrote a book, her identity as well. This morning, however, she and husband Matt went on the Today show to discuss her new book and what it’s like raising their gender-creative son. And we actually get a chance to hear from CJ himself.
“There was a Barbie in my mom’s closet. I went in her closet, and I found it. And then I started to like girls’ stuff,” CJ explained, adding, “Some people can be different, some people don’t have to.”
yaoming
Cute kid, for sure (and nice to finally see him after all this time), but what are the other kids at school going to say after they see their classmate on TV wearing a dress and playing with dolls? I don’t know if this was the best decision the parent(s) could have made at this point in his life. Maybe they could have sat on the story, at least for a few years.
Jodi
@yaoming: Or, how about we teach our kids to respect and honor difference?
Caliban
This isn’t really a criticism, just an observation.
I haven’t read every one of the “Reading My Rainbow” posts, but to me it seems like they’ve often been about “CJ’s” attachment to the Disney Princesses, not Barbie. The only reason I bring it up is that it seems to me like every time I’ve read an article about “gender-varient” boys, CJ, the “Princess Boy,” etc., that the Disney Princesses show up somewhere in their stories. IIRC Disney had to alter a website that was originally intended for girls because so many boys were also interested.
To me that’s interesting from a sociological standpoint if nothing else. What is it about the “Disney Princesses” that are so appealing to boys more…. feminine interests? At least *some* of our attitudes toward gender are culturally derived. For example, pink used to be a “boys'” color, a pale shade of red, which was perceived to be a masculine color.
I guess what I’m trying to get at is how much is actual gender dysphoria and how much is attraction to a gender construct? I mean traditionally women in earlier socities worked their asses off; it wasn’t about certain colors, nail polish, and high heels. Those are the trappings of being female in the US, a rather primped up version of it, which isn’t exactly the same thing as the biological state of being female.
I don’t really “get” the transgender thing, though I try. I also realize that my “getting” something isn’t required for it to be real.
Katbox
They do not look at all like what I imagined….
Thought she would’ve been more of a ‘walmart mom…’
ncman
Something isn’t right here. In the past month or two the Raising my Rainbow mom has been shown in some photos. And, the woman in this Today Show interview is not the same woman we have seen in the recent photos. The photos we have seen recently have been of an overweight woman wearing glasses and with a very short haircut. I think I even recall some tattoos on her arms.
So, what is going one here? Which is the real mom and why have there been two different women put out as the public face of the Raising My Rainbow mom?
ncman
@ncman: oops…. my bad. I got her confused with “Amelia” who blogs about raising her gay son on Huffington Post. Amelia has 3 sons. It’s her oldest that identifies as gay, not gender non-conforming, and he has a crush on Blaine from Glee.
mlbumiller
what photos you refering to? been looking through th blog and dont see what you are talking about.
barbie was his first doll look at the early blog enty from 01/24/2011
This family has been dealing with this issue for more than a few years. I think they are right for what they are doing. CJ should be free who he wants to be; at his age he should have to be worried about what he should and should not be doing.
Dixie Rect
If she is such a great mother, why is she pimping out her kid for a book on the Today show? Is she looking for a reality show on TLC too? This is all about Mom’s ego and her quest for fame at the expense of her kids. I bet she forces him to wear those outfits and told him to act out for the cameras. She wants to be the next Kate Gosselin. What a phoney this woman is…
guyingpp
Fame whoring aside, will everyone that posted “FAKE!” after every one of her entries be posting apologies?
hyhybt
@guyingpp: Why, when they can either ignore this or call it fake too?
RomanHans
@guyingpp: Can you narrow down your argument? Some of the stories had distinctly fake elements in them. Seeing these people on TV does absolutely zero to discount that.
I’ve had serious problems with Ms. Duron for quite a while. Aside from the questionable veracity, it seemed like she and her family were reinforcing C. J.’s gender confusion by, for example, quizzing him on why he wanted to wear boys’ clothes. And what about C.J.? I wouldn’t put my kid in a SITCOM let alone put them on TV and talk about how they don’t think they’re a boy. Call it fabulous if you want, but I know what America does to child stars. We now have a famous gender-variant seven-year-old. Where do you see this kid at 18?
I would love for C. J. to live happily ever after. I wish I saw that in his future.
Polaro
I feel odd about this, but that is all about me and nothing about him.
mlbumiller
@RomanHans: so letting CJ dress like he wants and play with what he want is reinforcing his “gender confusion”? Also, you are really taking it out of context when they ask him what he wants to wear; they ask when they are going out in very public forum where he may have no support other than his familiy to protect him from the a$$holes of the world. He knows as well as many of us did that he is not accepted by all for who he is. His familiy is giving him choices and support him in his choices. I am sure if we look in through the window of your home and how you are raising your children, we all could find things you do as a parent we wouldnt agree with.
Cam
I have loved the blog postings and have followed the stories. But am I wrong to feel a bit wierded out by the striving for publicity?
Originally she kept her son’s image and name private. Well other than a book advance and the chance for fame what changed to suddenly make her think this was a good idea?
Dixie Rect
@guyingpp:
I will never apologize. “CJ” looks like some overly precocious kid from Central Casting. It all looks and sounds contrived and acted. Especially CJ’s prancing. I believe they are all actors, trying to get a reality show. I mean really, what respectable parents would do this to a child and put their alleged son up for judgement and ridicule? They will, for the fame and cash!!! Horrible people.
If its real, social services should intervene to stop this obvious child abuse. I’m outraged.
Jay
I’ve got some bad news for that lady… Her son will probably grow out of it, but Dad… yeah, he’s a ‘mo.
Jodi
@Jay: Suck less.
QJ201
When I was 4 I used to put on an old nightgown and a wig and impersonate my grandmother…which is more scary than the wig part.
OzGurl
I have two sons who both play with dolls (just adding we don’t do disney in our house) and hoops. Both play dress up in clothing aimed at girls but I don’t label them gender non-corfming. I label them kids.
I do how ever keep at the back of my mind the desire my eldest son has to cut off his private parts. He has commented before that he has the wrong body and is really a girl. In role play games he is always the mum, sister or aunty (even at school). Im very aware that he may be transgender but I won’t make decsions about how he wants to live. I will continue to buy him dresses if thats what he wants. As his mum I love how he is and I respect his privacy and rights to his own body.
I can understand this mum wanting to raise awareness but a big part of me feels that putting her sons very personal story out there in the public areana has forever taken away his right to privacy.