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WATCH: Ryan Lochte Shaves His Entire Body, “Even The Bits You Don’t See!”

Screen shot 2013-05-02 at 1.31.59 PMRyan Lochte may not come across as the most intelligent being on Earth, but when you have a body like that, who the hell cares?

In the latest episode of What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, this stunt queen let the cameras inside his bathroom to film the most homoerotic thing we’ve seen all week: a muscular straight man shaving his legs with gold-plated razors.

More importantly, he’s answering the burning question that’s been on everyone’s mind since the first time he entered the pool at the 2008 Olympics. Yes, Ryan Lochte shaves every inch of his body—even “the bits you don’t see”!

But honestly, you would too if you had a set of three custom-made, gold-plated razors.

The job takes roughly four-five hours to complete, which is about the same amount of time we spent replaying this clip this morning. Now excuse us while we watch it again.

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By:           Matthew Tharrett
On:           May 2, 2013
Tagged: , , ,

  • 30 Comments
    • fredo777
      fredo777

      four to five hours?

      May 2, 2013 at 2:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jamesbarnette
      jamesbarnette

      Heterosexual?

      I’m glad you guys cleared that one up because I was under the impression pretty boys always find other pretty boys attractive.

      May 2, 2013 at 2:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jamesbarnette
      jamesbarnette

      K, just watched it and, sorry, but the girl he’s with is butcher than he is.

      May 2, 2013 at 2:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Grrrowler
      Grrrowler

      Ryan who? Oh, right, this guy: http://youtu.be/45SU_jR2Avk

      In my eyes, stupid is not sexy.

      May 2, 2013 at 2:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Polaro
      Polaro

      Dumb as a stump. And I would so date him. It might take him a few date to figure out that it really isn’t a really big clit.

      May 2, 2013 at 2:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • miagoodguy
      miagoodguy

      A bag of rocks is smarter than this guy (or the viewers of this show), though he is a great swimmer.

      May 2, 2013 at 2:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • miniskull
      miniskull

      First I wondered: “Who the fuck would watch this stupid shit?”. But then I realized it’s on E! Channel- the house of those stupid Armenian trashes and bunch of reality fame-whores. Gosh, I wish they can ban E! for dumbing down Americans.

      May 2, 2013 at 3:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ted72
      ted72

      @miagoodguy: He’s man of the night as well as man of the morning. :) LOL

      May 2, 2013 at 3:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ted72
      ted72

      @miniskull: You and I both! So many stupid Americans out there. And I’m an American.

      May 2, 2013 at 3:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sweet Boy
      Sweet Boy

      Smooth bottom guys are the latest fad…that´s why

      May 2, 2013 at 3:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • QJ201
      QJ201

      So many straight guys are shaving off their pubes…my sister had to yell at my nephews who were shaving their crotches long before their beards came in.

      He is okay attractive, but those speedos…not worth a second look if you know what I mean. He’s no John Hamm.

      May 2, 2013 at 3:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • alterego1980
      alterego1980

      You know what; I’m glad he has a TV show. I can’t stand him (though i’ll look at pics of him all day where he can’t talk back), and i’ll never watch the show. But don’t forget that he’s a good Olympic athlete. I always thought that our Olympic medalists should be paid more. So often they struggle to finance their own training. So, good for him for cashing in.

      May 2, 2013 at 4:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B Damion
      B Damion

      Poor thing. He’s just like a little baby boy. Just alitte baby walking around bumping into things don’t know what to do.hhhooo..jesus take the wheel!

      May 2, 2013 at 5:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mz.sam
      mz.sam

      I desperately tried to watch Ryan’s premiere episode…but had to quickly change the channel.
      There is more seismic wave activity in the water he swims in than the catatonic neurons in his brain…Duh!

      May 2, 2013 at 5:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mz.sam
      mz.sam

      @miagoodguy: Sounds like a ‘MENSA’ to me…Mental Shit Alert.

      May 2, 2013 at 5:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charles175
      Charles175

      A guy that deliberately shaves every square inch of his body butterball smooth is a sexual turn off for me. In my mind, having some to moderate body hair naturally adds to his handsomeness and air of masculinity. In this, smooth boys need not apply, LOL!

      May 2, 2013 at 7:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Teleny
      Teleny

      He’s so stupid that I find him unattractive.

      May 2, 2013 at 7:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charlie in Charge
      Charlie in Charge

      @Charles175: But swimmers shave so they can swim faster.

      May 2, 2013 at 8:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kieran
      Kieran

      I guess it would be asking too much to see the video of Ryan shaving his ass huh?

      May 2, 2013 at 10:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bartz
      Bartz

      I am not a fan of big feet, but something about Ryan makes me want to lick him from head to toe and specailly stop and work the head in the middle of his bod!!

      May 2, 2013 at 11:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Elmwoodmac
      Elmwoodmac

      I wouldn’t be surprised if this creepy dumb ass saves all his pubes too.

      May 2, 2013 at 11:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jack512
      jack512

      So many people say Ryan is dumb. As they keep talking his bank account keeps growing.

      May 3, 2013 at 2:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 2eo
      2eo

      @jack512: This shows what exactly?

      What an idiotic statement, but then given the standard of those defending him for his idiocy is entirely not surprising in the least.

      May 3, 2013 at 6:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777
      fredo777

      @2eo: “but then given the standard of those defending him for his idiocy is entirely not surprising in the least.”

      who is defending him for his idiocy, exactly, when the majority of comments are talking about how dumb he is + this one comment didn’t really defend him as much said that while he’s attacked for being dumb, he’s still successful. what it shows, i assume jack meant, is that regardless of his critics, the guy will still be successful.

      May 3, 2013 at 6:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • rextrek
      rextrek

      eeeegads…..I cant stand Over-shaved/groomed men…….give me a furry guy anyday….

      May 3, 2013 at 8:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kieran
      Kieran

      Let me help translate some of these posts from bitchy queen into standard English:

      He’s so dumb = He’d never dream of having sex with somebody like me.

      May 3, 2013 at 12:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kathukid
      Kathukid

      After watching his show for 5 minutes and listening to him speak, all I can say is it’s a good thing he can swim. As they say in the south, “Bless his heart.”

      May 3, 2013 at 12:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Niall
      Niall

      He’s one of those people who should be seen but no heard tbh

      May 3, 2013 at 3:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Niall
      Niall

      *not

      May 3, 2013 at 3:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MK Ultra
      MK Ultra

      This is pop-culture wasteland territory.
      The guy can swim. That doesn’t warrant a tv producer’s fictional presentation of his life.
      In fact, I think it cheapens his accomplishments.

      May 3, 2013 at 5:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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