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DOLL HOUSE

WATCH: Straight Soldiers Bump And Grind Each Other To “Barbie Girl”

 

In honor of DADT’s impending demise, we present this clip of  two hetero Marines soldiers doing a sexy dance to Aqua’s “Barbie Girl,” complete with groping, grinding and simulated sex.

We say they’re hetero for the following reasons:

1. They tell us they are on their YouTube page.

2. No self-respecting gays would play that song anymore.

3. If they were gay, the clip would be a lot more graphic and would’ve been posted on XTube.

4. Green camouflage is sooo 2007.

Regardless, it’s hot sweet seeing two soldiers unwind and enjoy some male camaraderie. We salute you boys—and we’re counting down the days to September 20, when your gay brethren can start serving openly!

By:           Dan Avery
On:           Sep 12, 2011
Tagged: , , ,
  • 31 Comments
    • Thomas Maguire
      Thomas Maguire

      These guys are not soldiers. They are Marines. Soldiers are in the Army, Marines are in the Marine Corps.

      There is only one difference between a straight Marine and a gay Marine: a straight Marine holds his own legs in the air.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 2:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • t money
      t money

      hmmmmm. interesting. the funny thing is that they probably had to conceptualize this and practice before turning on the cameras. ya, totally not gay. the bigger guy does seem to get excited tho…

      Sep 12, 2011 at 2:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Andre
      Andre

      They after not Marines! They after in Army PT uniforms. Look closely you can see Army on the shirt and shorts. Please reread and correct title.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 3:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Thomas Maguire
      Thomas Maguire

      @Andre: I should watch the video before I open my yap. Also, the soldier with the shaved head has a smokin bod and clearly has great hips. He’d be a fun fuck.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 3:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MiKem
      MiKem

      Don’t you know that all Marines are Heteros, regardless of whether they are “tops” or “bottoms”.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 3:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Whuh?
      Whuh?

      Huh? Whuh? Sorry. Mesmerized by what was flopping around in ol’ boy’s pants.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 3:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mick in Detroit
      Mick in Detroit

      to echo the above, the ARMY shirt and shorts tend to give away that these are not MARINES. Seriously? were you that flummoxed by the str8 guy grinding that you missed that?

      Sep 12, 2011 at 4:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • I have a question
      I have a question

      So the one wearing the t-shirt that says “Army” and the one wearing the shorts that says “Army” are actually in the Marines. Is this some sort of military cross dressing thing?

      Sep 12, 2011 at 4:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      That was so exceptionally gay, I actually felt uncomfortable watching it.

      I think these men are gay:

      1. The guy with the shaved head is far too experienced in grinding another man
      2. The guy with the full head of hair was shy about taking his shirt off.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 4:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TomMc
      TomMc

      @Mr. Enemabag Jones: Agreed. Shaved head dude at least bi; other one possibly bi. (Watch it with the sound off.)

      Sep 12, 2011 at 4:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Marie Cohn
      Marie Cohn

      There are no straight Marines, only pre-gay ones.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 5:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • bandanajack
      bandanajack

      i think the chubby one was GETTIN a chubby.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 6:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dali
      Dali

      FAKE alert! At best, this was an audition for gay porn. At worst, this was some guys’ attempt to discredit the US Military Force (Please apologize if I have the name wrong, as I’m not American and I don’t know the official name of your military).

      Sep 12, 2011 at 7:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dali
      Dali

      FAKE ALERT! At best, this was an audition for gay porn. At worst, this was making fun of DADT. Military personnel are much wiser than we think. They know that their image titillates gay men. Most of them have learned how to play with it.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 7:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • gayfamilyvalues
      gayfamilyvalues

      Ok first I agree these are Marines…As for the title about STRAIGHT??? I dont think so the little guy set my gay dar off big time…

      Sep 12, 2011 at 7:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • christopher di spirito
      christopher di spirito

      Suddenly, I want to enlist.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 8:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scribe31
      scribe31

      no way the tall one is gay… is there a man reading this that could have that little cute piece of ass on your dick and not get a hard-on? The tall dude is str8. The shorter one, well maybe he has sisters that made him play dress up or something… lol

      Sep 12, 2011 at 10:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Catmann
      Catmann

      Is the taller one sporting a semi? Str8 my ass!

      Sep 12, 2011 at 10:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RangerAJ
      RangerAJ

      Why werent these guys my roommates when I was in the Army?
      I vote,,,,Not Fake.
      Small nimble guy,,,,Gay.
      Larger guy,,,,just needs a nudge.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 10:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jim Hlavac
      Jim Hlavac

      Egad, we won the culture war! Hallelujah! :)

      Sep 12, 2011 at 10:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ryan
      Ryan

      That was really awkward, the gayer one didn’t even lip sync properly. Don’t post videos like this just ’cause they’re fagging out on each other if it isn’t really any good. It’s just not post worthy….nice ass though.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 11:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • George412
      George412

      instead of figuring out if they are gay or marines or army I question why they even felt the need to veideotape themselves and then post it? who cares? it’s not like they are good dancers or were actually singing. Just more members of generation whatever they are are called starving for attention.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 11:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • WillBFair
      WillBFair

      #5 reason why they’re not gay: the dancing was excruciating.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 11:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • juewangas
      juewangas

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      Sep 13, 2011 at 3:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott ny'er
      scott ny'er

      @George412: that’s what i was thinking. Why? Why would heteros (much less homos) film something like this?

      I mean it’s one thing when a gay porn star does something intellectual, like this “exercising for gender equality”

      Sep 13, 2011 at 8:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jack E. Jett
      Jack E. Jett

      Closeted homos like this make the situationa worse for everyone concerned. As a Pacifist and somone who thinks war is a waste of money and lives, I don’t enjoy my tax bucks being spent for armed forces to make music videos. But .then I am jaded and bitter.

      Sep 13, 2011 at 12:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • chrism
      chrism

      No way will you ever see a jarhead wearing Army PT clothes – never gonna happen – I’ve had enough Marines to know that. Besides, no Marine would ever be as out of shape as the guy who keeps his shirt on (for very obvious reasons). Know what they call the 13 button fly front on a sailors uniform? A marine’s tablecloth.

      Sep 13, 2011 at 5:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Taricus
      Taricus

      @Jack E. Jett: They aren’t at work ALL the time… Anymore than you are at work 24/7. Your tax dollars aren’t paying for them having actual lives like normal people. They aren’t machines. “RAWRRRR!! I’M SO ANGRY!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY LET THEM GO TO SLEEP EVERY DAY!! I DON’T WANT MY TAX DOLLARS GOING INTO HUMANS GETTING ADEQUATE REST TO EFFECTIVELY DO THEIR JOB AND MAINTAIN MORALE!!!” = Jack #. Jett

      Sep 13, 2011 at 5:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Taricus
      Taricus

      @Jack E. Jett: They aren’t at work ALL the time… Anymore than you are at work 24/7. Your tax dollars aren’t paying for them having actual lives like normal people. They aren’t machines. “RAWRRRR!! I’M SO ANGRY!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY LET THEM GO TO SLEEP EVERY DAY!! I DON’T WANT MY TAX DOLLARS GOING INTO HUMANS GETTING ADEQUATE REST TO EFFECTIVELY DO THEIR JOB AND MAINTAIN MORALE!!!” = Jack E. Jett

      Sep 13, 2011 at 5:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeff
      Jeff

      omg these guys ARE gay! It’s so obvious. Esp the more buff guy. A big ole gurl! And what’s up with the guys big gut? I thought marines were supposed to have flat tummies. At least the straight ones that I did all had flat ones. HOLLA

      Sep 13, 2011 at 9:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dorian
      Dorian

      @Mr. Enemabag Jones: I agree a straight man would not have been so self conscience about taking off his shirt. A straight guy sucks it up and sucks it in (the gut)…

      Sep 23, 2011 at 4:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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