Here’s an interesting sociological take on the Candid Camera TV set-up: hire two actors to play a mom and son who are having an emotional discussion about the son wanting to be a girl. Set the scene in the middle of a crowded New Jersey diner, and see what the other people in the restaurant say.
As a gay person with a vested interest in making sure our LGBT youth are happy, I’d probably step in and defend the son. But if I were straight, or older, perhaps I’d let them settle the matter on their own. What would you do?
Clockwork
This is such bullshit.
Anyone of us could be set up with some event of bad humanhood, where you stand by
and do nothing.
I once saw a man get knocked to the ground and robbed, two gay guys on the street just pointed at the man on the ground walked away. Thankfully me and another individual
helped the man to his feet and stayed with him until police arrived.
And yes I am sure there have been times where I did nothing when a decent person would
have stepped in.
Stephen Ira
You do not mean “trans son.” You mean “trans daughter.” Stop being transmisogynistic, Queerty. This is clearly a recurring problem for you.
Jamie
It makes me so happy to see such older generations be so kind and understanding. I almost cried when that one older woman came and sat down!
Spike
The scenario would have been more realistic had the kid been dressed as a female,
thus put those being tested in the position of actual public acceptance of what he
was telling his mother he wanted to do, I’m guessing the reaction would be much less
sympathetic.
Ginasf
1) The idea a trans kid would bring their parent to a noisy, crowded diner to inform them they’re trans is absurd. If you think it’s hard coming out to your parents as gay, try to imagine what it might feel like coming out to them as trans.
2) There is so much misgendering in the “What Would You Do” piece… especially by John Quinones and, has been mentioned, by Queerty. Evan, if you’re going to be the one now posting trans-related stories on this digital rag, then please learn something about our community and have some respect for us.
If they really wanted to deal with trans issues in a real way, have a gender variant trans woman getting served by someone who proceeds to make mean remarks to her face or behind her back or doesn’t allow her in the women’s room. That really happens every day.
the crustybastard
Interesting that the female-to-male white knight ratio was 4:1. I’m sure Jason can explain why this means women are inherently evil.
Evan Mulvihill
@Stephen Ira: Fixed to be more readable. The gender doesn’t really matter here, it’s about the concept of being rejected by your parent.
parasite eve
i just cried…..my dad cant accept me before now he loves me….now im a beautiful woman…..its not a choice to be a transgender…….i know what i am eversince i was born
parasite eve
im a transsexual….and i dont disagree with any of these…..this goes to show that…..people really care….specially OLDER PEOPLE who we thought are very conservative….this is just amazing thank you
Bob
Yes, it appears that many older people care…until they enter the voting booth….
iDavid
It could just as easily have been any gay kid w a negative rejecting parent assailing his/her sexuality. This clip hits all of us. Beautiful post Queerty.
Clockwork
GinaSF, your idea makes MUCH MORE sense
>If they really wanted to deal with trans issues in a real way, have a gender variant trans >woman getting served by someone who proceeds to make mean remarks to her face or behind >her back or doesn’t allow her in the women’s room.
Kieran
Message straight people got by watching this show: Oh those poor, pathetic, gender-confused gay kids. It’s so sad how these emotionally vulnerable effeminate gays aren’t comfortable being male. Maybe all these gay kids need is a good sex-change operation. Oh gawd, I hope my kid doesn’t turn out to be gay!
W.P.
@Evan Mulvihill:
“The gender doesn’t really matter here, it’s about the concept of being rejected by your parent.”
I beg to differ. The gender _does_ batter here. It’s about respecting a person’s identification. Understandably the actor is not actually trans, but still respecting a person’s self identification is important. Stopping transphobia starts with the little things; and being apart of the LGBT community doesn’t give a person (of any of the categories) a free pass to disrespect someone else.
W.P.
“The gender _does_ matter here”*
dvlaries
Whether sexuality of any kind is in play, the whole premise of the show, that premeditatedly creating a public spectacle is worthwhile entertainment is shameless.
The mannerly principle of not deliberately provoking others is the foundation of civilized living, and “What Would You Do” does it no favors.
Wesley Horace
i hate this set up on the show. i do not come to a restaurant to be made uncomfortable. and as much as i am sympathetic to the kid, that is not the time or the place to come out. i wouldn’t do anything in most situations.
PS
This TV show has really shown itself to be pro-LGBT over the past 1 -2 years. They’ve had several LGBT related scenarios that have leaned “pro” LGBT tolerance.
Jakey
@Ginasf: “The idea a trans kid would bring their parent to a noisy, crowded diner to inform them they’re trans is absurd. If you think it’s hard coming out to your parents as gay, try to imagine what it might feel like coming out to them as trans.”
It’s not absurd at all. Being in a public place cuts down on the possibility that your parents will make a scene. People handle breakups the same way, it’s practically a cliche.
Paul
To all the haters of this show, and I mean this in as much respect as I can muster…fuck off – this show rocks!!! As PS said, this show is 1.) very pro-gay, and 2.) it encourages people to stand up for injustices, whether it be kids coming out to their parents in restaurants, people making fun of mentally handicapped in grocery stores, injustices seen towards interracial couples, men putting drugs in their dates drinks, or someone leaving a poor innocent dog with nearly no ventilation in a humid automobile (all real episodes of this show). It’s a great venue and reiterates to show people about doing the right thing (standing up for an injustice) or being a coward and doing nothing. This is *good* reality TV.
Paul
A wonderful example of how good this show could open people’s eyes… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zhl9MLno424 I did in face tear up in the about 4:00 or so into the episode.
xixax
“transmysoginistic”. really? give me a fucking break. so done with this shit. this transvictimisim has reached the height of absurdity. LGB drop the T.
Paul
@xixax: Ouch. not cool, dude.
Gideon
I’m confused after watching this. Is there a difference between being gay and being transgendered? Do gay boys really want to be girls instead of boys? Are we surprised most masculine gay guys decide against identifying as gay because of the stereotypes?
Clockwork
The show promotes and uses cliche stereotypes of GLBT childishness, mental instability,
and emotional scene making. All that’s lacking is a flaming tantrum.
Just because it’s “GLBT” and in the media does not mean it promotes tolerance of us
as equals.
Jack
@Gideon– no, the American Psychological Association defines gender identity as being different than sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is an enduring pattern of sexual, romantic, and emotional attraction towards people of a certain gender. Gender identity is the psychological identity of one’s gender, usually male or female. To be transgender means that your body’s primary and secondary sex characteristics do not align with one’s gender identity. So, a person could be gay and trans or just gay or just trans.
LittIeKiwi
I’ve actually known a great many people who Came Out in public – it was done as a safety measure on their part as they knew, or felt, that it would give the person they were coming out to an awareness of Public Decorum.
people who worry “what others will think” tend to not blow up in public.
it may not be everyone’s way of doing it, it wasn’t mine (family dinner-table conversation, yo!), but i do know a lot of people who for a very specific reason chose to Come Out in a busy public place.
LittIeKiwi
clockwork, do you have a specific plan of action that you feel would better serve the Communities via exposure and visibility?
and i’m not sure “tolerance as equal” is anyone’s goal. that seems woefully low for a bar to be set.
“tolerance” is like saying “nice doggy” until you can find a big enough rock.
tolerance is what people aim for who don’t respect themselves. acceptance and understanding are what self-respecting people command, demand and achieve.
LittIeKiwi
i think people should, if nothing else, take away some real hope and inspiration in the sheer fact that there are indeed people out there who will support, promote and encourage love and understanding.
it should make you all happy. truly.
B
No. 10 · Bob wrote, “Yes, it appears that many older people care…until they enter the voting booth….” Not true. You have a statistical distribution. While the probability of being homophobic seems to be higher in the older age groups, it is not like 100% are homophobic. The “many” in this age group who care may not be the majority, but there is no evidence that they change their opinions when they vote. Rather, they are simply outnumbered.
Clockwork
>clockwork, do you have a specific plan of action that you feel would better serve the >Communities via exposure and visibility?
– The TV show is FAKE
– Live you life for real not through television actors
>“tolerance” is like saying “nice doggy”
That show wants people to be nice doggies
Shannon1981
Touching! Gives me hope.
kevininbuffalo
@Paul: He’s cool and right.
LittIeKiwi
Clockwork, you didn’t actually answer my question. We’re all aware that the program is “fake” – as in it’s controlled. the responses from the customers are not fake.
but what I asked you was what specific plans of action you think people can implement into their own lives. perhaps you can share an example of what you are personally doing.
here, i’ll show you a glimpse of some of what I do
my mother and father talking about Equality for transpeople: http://youtu.be/zJom6vyRtQc
Curtis
This made me feel so so so good!
don’t care if its fake or watever..
drums
@the crustybastard: Your comment is amazing and I’m not surprised jason hasn’t replied at all.
Clockwork
>but what I asked you was what specific plans of action you think people can implement into >their own lives. perhaps you can share an example of what you are personally doing.
Oh pleze,
You expect me to list the events, political candidates I’ve spoken to, volunteered for,
GLBT organizations where I stood behind a table at some park for six hours,
academic and medical involvement…blah,blah
LittleKiwi, not my style to self hype my “activist” credentials
indi.anna
https://www.change.org/petitions/tell-queerty-to-stop-transphobic-reporting-now
Stephen Ira
@Evan Mulvihill: It reeks of cis privilege to say “gender doesn’t really matter here” in a discussion of trans issues. Gross.
Samuel
@Ginasf: I understand that it is difficult to see our community represented in a way that is not as close to reality as we would like, but I think that the very fact that they made an effort to represent our community, even if they haven’t gotten all of the vocabulary down pat, is something. I’m just happy that we were recognized.
Whether or not we like it, people are not going to be aware of what terminology is correct and what hurts. That’s why I think we need to educate them, not berate them. I do agree that a restaurant would be the last place anyone would come out, and harassment is a big issue. However, there is always a first step, and I think they’ve taken one.
LittIe,Kiwi
Clockwork, forgive me for asking you to back up your claims. I forget that doing such is a terribly difficult thing to do for you anonymous online commenters.
Clockwork
@Little,Kiwi
Get real, either you believe me or you don’t.
And if you don’t, I don’t care.