LIP SYNCHING

Wayne Simmonds Is Glad That The NHL Can’t Prove He Called Sean Avery A “Faggot”

When basketball player Kobe Bryant called a referee a “fucking faggot,” the National Basketball Association slapped him with a $100,000 fine. So Philadelphia Flyer Wayne Simmonds is probably very happy that the National Hockey League can’t determine that whether he called Sean Avery “a fucking faggot” or not.

NHL senior executive vice president of hockey operations Colin Campbell said, “Since there are conflicting accounts of what transpired on the ice, we have been unable to substantiate with the necessary degree of certainty what was said and by whom… none of the on-ice officials close to the altercation in question heard any inappropriate slurs uttered by either of the primary antagonists. In light of this, we are unable at this time to take any disciplinary action with respect to last night’s events.”

Plus, get this, they asked Simmonds if he would like to pay a $100,000 fine called Avery a fucking faggot and Simmonds said “no.” There you have it! Case closed.

We would really love it though, if they played Simmonds the video of him mouthing what seems like “fucking faggot” and asked him what exactly he might have said instead of that: “forgone maggot?” “farking fraggle?” “forking dragnet?” Surely there’s some logical explanation.

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