Before he birthed a lovechild as the governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger played Conan
O’Brien the Barbarian in the heartwarming 1982 film of the same name. This weekend, a 3-D remake will grace silver screens across America, so we feel it’s our duty to add a highbrow cultural note to the symphony of slaughter by presenting the hero’s theme from Conan the Musical. If you’ve never heard it, then prepare for the transcendent joys of Austrian-accented English. And if you have heard it, then to hell with you and Crom.