As the gay community gains momentum both politically and socially, there’s a lot to celebrate. Just last week, Alabama of all places began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. (Of course, not without a few naysayers throwing temper tantrums first.) And come June, the Supreme Court is expected to rule on marriage equality for the entire country.
Of course, our struggles extend beyond the right to marry and are far from over. There is still much work to be done when it comes to things like non-discriminations laws, bullying and the like. But the light at the end of the tunnel is definitely burning brighter.
Yesterday, we gave you our reasons. Now we want to hear from you. What do you think is the best part about being gay?
Sound off in the comments section below.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
QJ201
Enjoying the hole and the pole
Eddie Jr
The best thing about being Gay is probably no different than the best thing being about being straight. Isn’t that what we’re always saying?
Pistolo
The best part about being gay is having less barriers about what “role” you’re supposed to play. It’s much easier to be on even ground with your boyfriend or lover or whatever because there isn’t a rulebook of expected behaviors the way their is with straights, who are almost Victorian in all the worst ways.
jos78415
I don’t have to worry about “Happy Wife – Happy Life”. My husband and I are equals. We please each other because we choose to, not because one of us will make the other miserable if we don’t.
Ronbo
@jos78415: Exactly! I know what to expect emotionally. I’m sure female couples have the same feeling.
You know how your mate is going to react because you feel the same. I LOVE being able to look at a hot ass and hearing “Ooooh sweet baby” and not “You think I’m ugly!” Better yet, having the sweet ones pointed out to me.
RIGay
Where we live in the Northeast (RI), being gay just is. It’s like breathing. We don’t look over our shoulders for thugs with bats or bibles. Now, if you asked the best thing about being MARRIED, I would say “It changed EVERYTHING!” The person I spent 15 years waking up next to every morning now has an exact definition in my life. An entirely deeper level of love and commitment that is not marginalize or at risk of abandonment. A whole, deeper sense of honesty and trust. Someone I know I will stay with until the day I die. Being MARRIED has changed everything.
dannyal
Women can’t use their sex appeal to manipulate me. And that’s a powerful thing to have as a man.
Giancarlo85
I can’t speak for straight couples.
But for me, I am on equal terms with my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I are often secure enough to say “oh he’s cute” about guys we see… without any feelings getting hurt. We are monogamous by the way.
At any rate… the best part of being gay is a tough question. I guess I’m more open about my feelings than a straight guy is… and I can actually hold down a conversation. But then again I’ve seen gay guys who can’t even talk for more than a few sentences.
VampDC
For me the best part of being gay is not having rules about what role you should play on a date, in a relationship, or in marriage.
So many of my straight friends, male and female all stress over the same rules on dates:
-Who should pay
-Who should ask the other person out first
-Who should write back first after the date
-Who initiates date #2
-Who plans the date
With two men those rules are open for you. No one HAS to be the one to pay. No one HAS to be the one to initiate the conversation. You’re just two equals going on a date.
Realitycheck
I guess this is very subjective, I would say, for me the best of gay,
is the freedom to choose how I live my life and who I am with,
without any religious or socially imposed responsibility.
And of course that is not a strictly gay thing.
Cam
A straight friend of mine was watching an ex and I in college and said that in some ways he was envious.
He was saying that he really loved his girlfriend, and spending time with her, but they had major differences in what they liked, what they did, and he said that my gay and lesbian friends seemed just a bit more in sync with each other.
And I know that people will complain about how bitchy the LGBT community is, but on the whole it is still a community, and a pretty great one. No matter how little two gay guys, lesbians, Transgenders, Bis, have in common, there are always things they can agree on.
(Except for BJ and his other screenames of course, because he basically just hates gays. 😉 ))
Mykaels
Where to begin…
When I was living with a boyfriend, there were no pre-assingned roles. He cooked the general meals, I cooked the big ta-do meals. We split the chores evenly, split the cooking evenly. There was no woman’s work or man’s work, there was just work.
In general, there is no passive aggressive “fine!”. If something bothers me or the boyfriend, we say it. Deal with it. Move on.
If I catch him checking out another guy, I am not mad. I am curious!
If either one is horny, we have sex, without having to be romantic, set the mood, or buy flowers. It just…happens, haha.
We don’t have to constantly reassure each other of our love, commitment, or attraction.
When dating, we can ask questions without ulterior motive/hidden meaning.
No “biological clock” pressure.
When I was dating, there was no sense of dating someone being a “waste of time/investment”.
There are many more but I am rambling.
Ladbrook
open relationships
Axeman
You can listen to Beyonce on repeat for hours on end and nobody looks at you weird. (well, maybe still, but, whatever.)
CCTR
Sex has the potential to be a 100% even exchange.
CCTR
and to bear witness of the progression of gay rights over the past 40 years
Wilberforce
Not being whipped. For thirty years I’ve listened to straight men at work talk about having to bend over backwards for the wife. It is so nice not having to be run by someone else.
Charlie in Charge
You can be who you want. If your things is flannel and denim or satin and sequins there is a place for you.
[email protected]
What is really great about being gay is that once you have been judged and condemned by the straight community you go through the same horrid process within the gay community who are equally as horrid. Happy times.
UpInTheGallery
It’s not necessary to put down other types of relationships to legitimize or validate our own. Truman Capote said we all have our illusions: “People who are having a love-sex relationship are continuously lying to each other because the very nature of the relationship demands that they do, because you have to make a love object of this person, which means that you editorialize about them. You cut out what you don’t want to see, you add this if it isn’t there. And so therefore you’re building a lie.” Perhaps he’s right, but that doesn’t make our relationships any less important to us.
polarisfashion
@Wilberforce: I will never let any man walk over me. He tries pulling that crap on me, he’s gone!
Elloreigh
The best thing about being gay? That kind of requires comparing it to the experiences of those who aren’t – experiences that I personally don’t have, so I would have to rely on what non-gay people say about their own experiences.
When it comes to relationships, I can’t think of anything that hasn’t already been said by others making comments.
I think that instead, I would say the best thing about being gay is the difference in perspective it provides from those whose general experience is one of heterosexual privilege. I have greater empathy for others who find themselves in the minority because we both know what it’s like to face prejudice, even if the type and degree of it differs.
As others have said, there’s also a kind of freedom that results from social convention not applying to you or your relationship. But that also comes with a cost – societal structures that actually support straight relationships aren’t there for us. So while we may have more freedom, we also aren’t provided the same opportunities (no prom for me in high school, for example), and we receive less guidance. My parents simply had nothing to offer that would have helped me navigate same-sex dating and relationships. They had no clue of the kind of obstacles I was facing in my work life related to anti-gay prejudice, so couldn’t give me any advice there, either. The list goes on and on.
My point is, it’s something of a wash. For the good things there are about being gay, they’re offset by some pretty awful things. I’m heartened that things seem to be getting a lot better for younger generations. And if I’m honest, a bit envious.
onthemark
Yesterday you had EIGHT reasons and now you’re asking for just one, the “best”?
I have to agree with everyone who’s commented about the lack of “social convention” etc.
But I think, down around #7 or so I’ll put… it’s great to be able to go to the movies on Super Bowl Sunday, to a nearly empty theater, that’s cool!
Arconcyyon
Is the use looks sex playinthing hawler orgasm unwritten near ass PM AM is they is love like my sex GAYBOYGAY Happys . My is
AtticusBennett
getting to make my own rules, and live life on my own terms, and not societal expectations.
being a part of a male-male system where we aren’t afraid of our sexuality means not just “more casual sex” – but rather connected intimacy, that can be shared and enjoyed, with like-minds. that sexuality can be shared with another and not be “empty and meaningless” but mutually-enjoyable and fulfilling, even if we’re not in a “committed long term monogamous relationship”
i love that i’m an active member of a community that’s mere existence acts as a hammer to smash the glass ceilings, and show that “the way things are” is nothing but an illusion that can, and should, be challenged and changed.
simply put – were it a choice, i would choose to be gay. i love my life. i love my experiences. i love what i’ve learned, and i love the people who’ve helped shape my life.
being able to see things from an Outsider’s Perspective, at a young age, gave me insight into culture and the world – and that insight is invaluable.
Arcamenel
Being gay in a largely hetero-centric world has allowed be to be more knowledgeable and compassionate to the plights of other marginalized communities that I myself may not be a part of.
LubbockGayMale
The best part of being gay has to be the love of my life! Unfortunately he passed away last year, but being with him was fantastic. Plus, I’ve learned to be more tolerant of others, even the bigots and narrow-minded.
farmboyfox
Hmm…aside from kissing a man which sends me, I’d have to say the freedom to be without all of the impositions of society. That’s the only thing that’s been a concern for me regarding gay marriage; that the gay community will assimilate to the point that it ceases to be on the cutting edge creatively and stop challenging societal ‘norms’! Be careful what you wish for! It’s been a decades long struggle, but now I can look back and say with a sigh of relief, “Who the fuck wants to be normal?!” I love my gayness and my gay brothers, issues and all! Peace!
CivicMinded
Gay people are magical. Their creativity and style is in the genes. By being in the minority they highlight and contrast what is hidden in the majority by the crowd itself. Gay people are teachers. They allow others the opportunity to expand their horizons just by being who they are.
gaym50ish
A gay partnership is generally a union of two equals, which straight unions often are not — and I know from experience, because I’ve been in both kinds.
I believe most straight married men don’t admit to their wives that they masturbate between sessions of marital sex, or that they view pornography on the sly. Their wives often take these things as rejections of them.
Gay men understand that this interest in pornography does not mean their partners are sex-addicted sickos. They’re just normally healthy, horny men. Gay males understand that sometimes masturbation is just for relief, and that viewing porn doesn’t mean a guy is unhappy with the man who shares his bed. They know what their partners do when they’re not around, and when they’re together they have no qualms about telling each other what gives them pleasure.
In other words, they understand each other’s sex drives in a way that a woman never will, and that’s a positive thing in a relationship.
DC_FamilyMan
@RIGay: so beautifully stated man… Thank you for sharing this 🙂
dave lopes
Made me less apt to easily accept society’s established rules and beliefs.
If they can be so wrong about ME, makes you wonder how many other things they are wrong about.
rickyboi7
Yes the hole and the pole, lol. It’s hard for me to imagine how straight guys can be as attracted to women as much as I am to men, but I’m sure they must be. I identified as bi for some time before it hit me all at once that while sex with women could get me off and be pleasurable, in a getting off sorta way, i’m flat out not attracted to the female body, and I am very attracted to the male. It’s great to be of the same gender because you understand each other in a way I doubt str8 people can. We have the same bodies and equipment!
speakeasy
The greatest thing, and also the most dificult thing thing, that being gay has done for me is that it forced me to have to confront the religion I had been raised in and tell them they were speading lies about homosexuals. That christianity was spreading lies about homosexuals, calling homosexual sexual acts bad and that homosexuals were terrible people, and christians even said that they were speaking for God on the matter of homosexuality in this way and then they said that not only were homosexuals horrible while alive, that this God they were speaking for also states that homosexuals will even be terrorized after death by God himself. Of course I knew there was nothing wrong with doing homosexual acts and that there was nothing wrong with it, so I knew they could not be speaking the truth about homosexuality. In realizing all this, it also informed me that christians who claimed to be speaking for some God were not doing that, that they were wrong. Which forced me to realize that there is no God that people claim to speak for. People have just made all that up. From there I realized that all religion is nonsense. That these were just things that people made up in earlier times before people were educated. Being gay forced me to have to confront religion and to finally understand it is all a pack of lies designed to control masses of humanity easily. Being gay helped to to avoid becoming entraped by the religious world, cause if I hadnt been gay I’d probably never even bothered to question the religious teachings of my childhood. I’d probably just gone done the path everybody else was going in that religion and never know I was being lead down a path of lies and the routine intimidation of children to learn and believe all that before the child has a chance to realize the crazyness of religion.
Being gay made me stop and realize the ridiculiousness of religion, all religion. It made me stand up for not only the rights of homosexuals, but the right of all persons to not to have to endure religion when they are a child. Religion is powerful force, stronger the strongest narcotic or any other drug, we would never force a child to drink bottles of beer every day and smoke weed every day and take morphine every day and smoke crack every day, those things are powerful and alter the mind and the perception of reality and should only be used by adults who understand how to use them wisely. Religion is like forcing all those mind altering drugs on children every day for their entire childhood without any kind of limits on when and where and why and how to use them, they’re just told to take them constantly and don’t argue and dont complain, just get really really high and far far from reality in your mind day in and day out. By the time they grow up they know no other way to live. All they know to do is over-dose on religion day in and day out and like any drug user who’s lost control they fight fiercely if anyone takes their drug away.
Being gay taught me the true nature of religion and made me realize that we need to save the children from it.
Profe Sancho Panza
In my ever more distant youth, the two best things about being gay were being exempt from marriage (and marriage expectations) and from military service ….
Ms Urethra Johnson
Better music?
VonTanner
The best part of being gay? Is…Not having to worry about am I too butch or too femme…I’m gay!
teeohpee
For me the best part about being gay is the strength and power ithat came with living an open and authentic life.
IvanPH
Being gay made me question the things I grew up believing in like ‘God’ and so-called ‘family values’. If i was not gay, I would not realize that religion is bullsh*t and that hate is not a family value. In addition, being gay made me understand the struggle of and the difficulties faced by other marginalized communities. It was being gay that turned me into a hard core liberal who believes in freedom and fairness above all things.
However, the best thing about being a gay man is that you don’t turn out to be stupid, unsophisticated, uncultured and shallow like your straight counterparts.
Kieran
You never have to worry about ending up one of the pathetic, pussy whipped males of modern day America.
eddypham
I love being gay. I do not thing there is a difference of gay and straight besides who we love. We all want the same thing. But to answer the question, the best thing about being gay is my husband. I love him and he loves me. Gay LOVE!!!
I am Gay (just like you), Black, HIV-Positive, and Back Bitches!!!
The best part about being gay is you all get to enjoy my brilliance! Both in print, and in the sack! And I am a wonderboy!!!
jwtraveler
All the TransParency comments have been removed. They were so entertaining. Censorship sucks.
nickvanallen
@QJ201: LMAO
nickvanallen
@Kieran: TRUE TRUE LMAO