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What Gays Can Learn From Girl Mags

READING RAINBOW — Maybe you grew up reading mom’s Redbook — because you weren’t exactly in a position to subscribe to The Advocate, let alone any dirtier fare. But before you go throwing women’s mags under the bus — even Prevention — understand this: There’s something gay about all of them. From Vogue and Elle to Oprah‘s rag and Rachael’s mag, we’ve identified the appeal these lady titles have for modern gay men such as yourselves.

 
  Target Audience Gay Sensibility Closest Male-Oriented Mag
mags_vogue
Vogue
Fashion forward career gals, anywhere from their 20s to 60s, who were over cosmos and Manolos before the Sex and the City DVD box set hit Amazon. They can spot a fake Louis from 30 feet. And are proud of it. It’s the bitchiest of all the fashion mags, but asserts its authority without screaming, “Heeeey, girl, did you see p. 142?” Men’s Vogue. Get it while it lasts.
mags_glamour
Glamour
Ladies who subscribe to the latest trends, no matter how outrageous, just because an editor says it’s so. More gullible than most, these 20-30-year-olds believe in women power, but want a man on their arm just the same. We’d be lying if we didn’t admit to being whores for trends, too. And the man on the arm part? Just as necessary as loving thy self. Details, a magazine that also just makes shit up to get you to buy stuff.
mags_betterhomes
Better Homes & Gardens
Thirty- and forty-something women with the leisure time to spend sprucing up their homes’ entertainment spaces, but without the OCD of Martha Stewart fanatics. The most direct translation. Just swap “women” with “gay men” from the description and we’re go for launch. Dwell, but only because it’s hipper, and you care about that sort of thing.
mags_allure
Allure
A true beauty book, this rag goes after girls who have tested every shade of Mac foundation, and don’t buy in to Olay’s gimmicky marketing material. It’s not just for men sporting guyliner. Allure will also tell you how to cover up those zits, but more importantly, how to avoid them in the first place. Esquire‘s front of the book, where every month you learn about a new shaving product in the first few pages, jammed in there with Gucci eyewear ads and Polo cologne strips.
mags_oprah
O, The Oprah Magazine
Moms, grandmas, and, surprisingly, your youngest sister are reading this magazine to explore empowerment, eating healthy at home, and an endless string of experts who will tell them what to do, when, and how. Did we mention this is a magazine from Oprah? Bow down, bitches. Ty Pennington At Home, except Oprah‘s brand doesn’t include a drinking problem. That we know of.
mags_elle
Elle
A slightly more accessible brand of fashion mag, Elle targets lasses more adventurous than those paging through Vogue. And courtesy Project Runway and Stylista, a younger, hipper crowd has subscribed, who are just as interested in runway fashions as they are Forever 21’s new stock. Your fag hag — sorry, “fairy princess” — is going to ask you whether she looks fat in something. The answer is “Yes,” but Elle will teach you how to give slimming tips. GQ, which can mix Bobby De Niro with John Legend, khaki with leather, and single malts with sports cars. All it needs to be a true equivalent? A reality series.
  Target Audience Gay Sensibility Closest Male-Oriented Mag
mags_everyday
Everyday With Rachael Ray
If you like the sound of some yum-o EVOO, then you’re the type of girl who won’t mind the chatty cathy forcing herself on to each month’s cover. Rachael’s readers are definitely interested in food — not to bring out subtle flavors, but to eat it. And then pair it with a nice bottle of grocery store wine. Deep down, every gay guy, no matter how many hours he clocks in the gym, wants to end every meal of “light tapas” with a double pepperoni pizza. Field & Stream — because we’ve never read either of these.
mags_nylon
Nylon
This glossy’s readers are Lower East Siders who don’t care what Proenza Schouler just sent down the catwalk. But is there a new line of printed tees or stylized leggings on offer from an unknown designer? Sign these girls up. This is a veritable shopping magazine. You use it to find stuff to buy. Besides what they’re doing at Men’s Health, a magazine can have no gayer mission statement. Nylon Guys, duh.
mags_prevention
Prevention
Surprisingly one of the highest-circulated magazines being published, Prevention is for women who consider “strenuous exercise” to be “walking” and whose idea of “hip activities” includes napping. Even if it’s targeted at a certain age demo, the mag is all about wellness and living longer, happier lives. That’s why you use Rogaine, isn’t it? White Crane, a relatively unknown gay men’s rag devoted to making readers better people through wellness tips and spirituality. Same wholesome mission, different uses of squatting dog position.
mags_w
W
Stuffed fat with titillating photo spreads, W is for gals with a visual eye and who are conscious about how many bangles on her wrist is one too many. Brad Pitt has played daddy in its pages. David Beckham has stripped to his skivvies. Madonna, Madonna, Madonna. V Man, and not just ’cause they share angular titles.
mags_more
More
For the 50+ set, this mag makes middle age about more than AARP membership. For ladies growing up but still thinking young, an active readership flips through these pages for fitness, food, and, however uncomfortable it makes you, sex advice. There’s plenty of frank discussion about erectile dysfunction. Best Life, though it’s unclear which mag has more ads for arthritis medication.
By:           editor editor
On:           Mar 10, 2009
Tagged: , , , , , , ,
  • 9 Comments
    • Sebbe
      Sebbe

      LMFAO

      &btw its “alternative lifestyle companion” not fag hag. LOL

      Mar 10, 2009 at 6:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MARK m
      MARK m

      PUHHLEEAAAZE. I know that this is a fluff piece, but PLEASE… as if girls have ANY advice for me! I am better at earning money, better at getting fucked, and better at feeling ok about both.

      Mar 10, 2009 at 8:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Steven
      Steven

      I love (and subscribe to) Nylon and pick up Nylon Guys whenever I come across it. V Man was a great shout out, but no love for V itself? That magazine is amazing and a million times better than W!

      Mar 10, 2009 at 2:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Berry
      Berry

      Gee, thanks for providing this service to “gay men such as yourselves”…but I’m a lesbian. Really, queerty?

      Mar 10, 2009 at 9:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brianna
      Brianna

      @Berry:

      Just what I was thinking, though queerty is obviously a site for gay men – hence all the pictures of shirtless men.

      @MARK m:

      Seriously? I can’t tell whether you’re joking or not, but what the fuck?

      Mar 10, 2009 at 10:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • emmy
      emmy

      To strive for inclusivity, I suppose a list for the lesbians in the audience is in order?

      The gayest magazine title of them all? Wallpaper* magazine during the Tyler Brule era.

      Mar 10, 2009 at 10:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Attmay
      Attmay

      My mom reads these women’s magazines, and I hate them with a passion.

      When we’re fighting for our rights and the publishing industry is sinking, the last thing we need is more fluff publications.

      Mar 11, 2009 at 7:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Telly_Smitts
      Telly_Smitts

      @MARK m:
      “PUHHLEEAAAZE. I know that this is a fluff piece, but PLEASEā€¦ as if girls have ANY advice for me! I am better at earning money, better at getting fucked, and better at feeling ok about both.”

      OUCH!!!

      Mar 12, 2009 at 3:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Virginia Slim
      Virginia Slim

      Why is there “something gay” about all–every single one–of the women’s mags? And why are they supposed to be more informative to me, simply because of my sexual orientation?

      If I happen to find Motor Trend, The Economist, or some other group of publications more informative, I guess I’m not gay enough or something (or not a “modern gay man,” whatever the calibration is for that).

      What a bunch of bunk, and it just assumes that there’s some automatic connection between femininity and same-sex orientation. Yeah, yeah, lots of nellie queens out there, I get that. But also a lot of us into sports, or news, or computers, or gadgets, etc.

      Gay = Girl. Is this 1956?

      Mar 15, 2009 at 2:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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