Comments on: What To Do When You’re Gay, Old, and Don’t Trust the Health Care Industry

By: cjijmzx

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By: strumpetwindsock

strumpetwindsock — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 21:06:14 +0000

Me?

I’ll let you know when I actually get to an age at which that is a concern. Last time I was in a hospital was when I got my tonsils out as a kid. Fortunately I don’t have to worry about a health care “industry” draining my bank account if I ever get sick.

But why are you asking me? you never believe anything I say anyway.

You’ll be in the market for bifocals and a walker soon enough yourself, and then I expect you’ll be complaining about all the young whippersnappers who don’t know anything.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 21:01:04 +0000

@galefan2004:
Point taken. However, I didn’t say anything negative about caregivers. And yes, of course there are nice nursing homes and many people out there who do care about the elderly. So… I’ll rephrase: Broadly speaking, American society poorly handles many matters of concern to the elderly, often fails to treat them with full dignity, and fails to draw from their wisdom and experience. Compared to many other nations/societies, we get dismal grades when it comes to the elderly.

By: TANK

TANK — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 17:46:01 +0000

@strumpetwindsock:

So…what do you do, old salt?

By: strumpetwindsock

strumpetwindsock — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 17:31:15 +0000

There was a story in the news here not too long ago about a straight couple who were being thrown out of their church-run residence because they were not married. I can’t remember how it finally got resolved, I think they threatened to take it to the Human Rights Commission and the home caved, but not everyone has that kind of energy and resources.

If straights run into shit like that imagine how much worse it must be for older gay couples.

By: galefan2004

galefan2004 — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 14:11:04 +0000

@Helga von ornstein: You should be reporting this to the supervisors of that place. By law, ANY personal details about a patient are not allowed to be discussed by anyone not directly discussing them with the patient. So, every single bigoted asshole that decided to run their mouth that day should lose their job and their license.

By: galefan2004

galefan2004 — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 14:09:13 +0000

@Andrew: I disagree that we (collectively, as in all of us) treat old people like shit. You have no idea how many loved ones came on a daily basis to the nursing home where I used to work. Also, it was far from a crappy nursing home as the staff actually cared very much about the patients. I’m not going to claim that there aren’t crappy nursing homes and kids that only show up when mom or dad just died to fight over the inheritance though.

By: galefan2004

galefan2004 — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 14:06:37 +0000

I just wanted to draw attention to the website for this video seeing you have to watch the whole video to see it. This is a great cause that should be championed.

The website is http://gensilent.com.

By: Helga von ornstein

Helga von ornstein — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 02:37:54 +0000

This really hit home for me. I went to the hospital with kidney stones and the pain I went through was insufferable. A gay couple who were there was the talk of the room out of earshot.

I thought about what would happen to me if for some reason I found myself old, alone, and at the mercy of some sanctimonious or just outright evil nursing home workers. It was scary indeed.

I shall be there on opening night.

By: Fitz

Fitz — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 01:55:52 +0000

@galefan2004: And even if your state does have DP, when you travel– your screwed. AND there hasn’t (to my knowledge) been a real legal test of DP registry Vs. Family of Origin case.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 00:00:33 +0000

We Americans treat all elderly folks like shit. We ignore them or patronize them or stuff them away in crappy nursing homes until they die. We certainly don’t learn from them or seek their considerable wisdom. Older gay folks have it even worse. At least we’re starting to see gray-gay housing pop up here and there.

By: j

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 23:49:50 +0000

Wow, I need to go watch this. I hope it’s free as I have no way of purchasing it. Amazing post regardless.

By: galefan2004

galefan2004 — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 22:03:49 +0000

The health care problem isn’t just an issue for gays when they are older. It is an issue for them their entire life. If you are not on a domestic partner registry (or if your state does not have a domestic partner registry) then you can be denied entrance to your partner’s hospital room if the family decides you shouldn’t have entrance. Power of attorney and visitation rights if often trumped by laws that recognize the next of kin as having sole rights in the matter no matter what legal documents exist.

By: Kid A

Kid A — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 22:03:26 +0000

@Matt: HURR DURRR

Anyway, great post Queerty, thanks.

By: Stu Maddux

Stu Maddux — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 22:01:15 +0000

We have been working closely with the LGBT Aging Project in Boston on this film. Thanks Lisa Krinsky and Bob Linscott!

By: dm73

dm73 — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 19:49:19 +0000

Thank goodness for groups like SAGE. It’s something to fight all your life and then be mired with the very people you fought against to provide you proper healthcare in your “golden” years. A real shame.

By: Joe Mustich, Justice of the Peace

Joe Mustich, Justice of the Peace — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 19:41:49 +0000

Important posting. Thanks.

By: Tim in SF

Tim in SF — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 18:51:04 +0000

Wow, Queerty, thank you for posting this.

By: Matt

Matt — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 17:50:21 +0000

What To Do When You’re Gay, Old, and Don’t Trust the Health Care Industry?

Well I don’t know about the rest of you but I’ll probably die.