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What’s Wrong With Katie Holmes?

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Alright, not necessarily gay news – unless you consider Tom Cruise’s beard “news” – but can take a second to address life’s biggest mystery: “What the hell has TC done with Katie Holmes?”

Here you see the famous couple in St. Tropez – well, Tom Cruise and a glassy-eyed figure which appears to be Katie Holmes. Sure, Holmes’ fashion’s dope, she’s got more money than God, a beautiful daughter and more press than almost anyone, but one can’t help but wonder if we were right and Cruise stole her brain.

Or maybe her brain’s intact, but has been forcibly vegetated by some special scientological cocktail. Either way, we feel for her, because obviously she can’t feel for herself.

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By:           Andrew Belonksy
On:           Aug 6, 2007
Tagged: , ,
  • 14 Comments
    • Beatniknight
      Beatniknight

      It seems like he’s always leading her by the hand. Like, she’s never in front of him, or even just next to him. It’s like he just drags her around all day.

      Aug 6, 2007 at 4:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dawster
      Dawster

      uugh… or those pictures when they were at a ball game and Tom was trying to kiss Katie every five minutes. i just want to scream.

      he just seems to act more and more like an insecure aging queen. oh wait… got to kiss Katie again.

      and Katie’s brain is sitting on Xenu’s shelf somewhere. won’t someone PLEASE HELP HER ESCAPE? this isn’t healthy.

      oh wait… gotta kiss Katie again.

      Aug 6, 2007 at 4:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dawster
      Dawster

      wait… don’t forget to kiss Katie again…

      Aug 6, 2007 at 4:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Gregg
      Gregg

      Maybe she was just tired. It’s exhausting trying to live your life when you’re under contract to pretend to be a gay man’s wife.

      And Tommy Boy – damn he is one ugly queen. I’ve never found him attractive, but he ain’t aging gracefully at all.

      Am I being bitchy?

      Aug 6, 2007 at 4:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stenar
      Stenar

      Katie looks totally drunk or stoned in those photos. He must have her on some sort of meds…or maybe SciFi-ology “auditing” has done this to her brain.

      http://www.BitchRepublic.net

      Aug 6, 2007 at 5:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jack Jett
      Jack Jett

      My extensive background in pharmacuticals tells me that it is a bit of xanax mixed with a couple of vikes, a valium and two glasses of Pinot Grigio.

      Her eyes are glazed because she is dreaming of being the next Nicole Kidman instead of Katie Beard.

      jack jett

      Aug 6, 2007 at 5:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • HL
      HL

      I looked like that. When I was on painkillers after surgery.

      Aug 6, 2007 at 7:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vince
      vince

      do you hear the shrieking of his shirt’s buttons?

      ’cause i’m now deaf.

      Aug 6, 2007 at 7:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • abelincoln
      abelincoln

      Well, either she’s all tired of this shit or she’s just gone all Stepford.

      Aug 6, 2007 at 8:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Martini-boy
      Martini-boy

      Maybe the published pictures are a selection of the worst ones — the ones that make her look all dazed out.

      Or, she may have had a VERY exciting eight hour session of hot, passionate sex with Mr. Cruise before heading out.

      Aug 6, 2007 at 9:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • beckettboo
      beckettboo

      Xanax,and Sapphic supression.

      Beckett Boo, esq.
      Cat Celebrity Blogger Extraordiniare!
      http://www.beckettboo.blogspot.com
      ww.myspace.com/beckettboo

      Aug 7, 2007 at 1:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • blondie67
      blondie67

      geez! after rupert murdoch became an american citizen that left james packer as the richest australian, who is a bloody scientologist also and married some thin brunette that had some promise, doesn’t it show that scientology is some money making CULT, Europe can see it! thank god our Nic got out and married Keith

      Aug 7, 2007 at 6:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • blondie67
      blondie67

      beckettboo. scientologists have XENU not XANAX LOL

      Aug 7, 2007 at 6:30 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • GranDiva
      GranDiva

      Okay, Nicole Kidman remained Catholic throughout her marriage to Cruise…

      Perhaps if the Cruised One had more XANAX and less XENU, he wouldn’t be having all these problems in Germany right now.

      Aug 7, 2007 at 12:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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