Queerty is better as a member

Log in | Register
SEX SURVEY

When Are You Most Likely To Have Bareback Sex?

gay-men-bad-in-bedA new survey conducted by GT (Gay Times) magazine has found that gay and bi men are more likely to engage in bareback sex after using drugs or while drunk.

“The GT drug survey came about because we were bemused at the amount of news stories in the mainstream media about gay and bisexual men and drugs,” GT editor Darren Scott said. “It seemed, to me at least, that this had become an accepted misconception of gay lifestyle with little fact to back it up.”

The survey asked 1,000 gay and bi male readers about their relationships with sex, drugs, and alcohol. It found that three-quarters of respondents use drugs recreationally, and that those who do were far more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors.

Here are the survey’s other findings:

  • Two thirds of respondents said they had sex while under the influence of recreational drugs, and 60 percent said they were more likely to have sex with a stranger while on drugs.
  • 55 percent said they were more likely to have group sex while on drugs, while 10 percent of them said they did not know their HIV status.
  • 30 percent admitted that taking drugs had led them to have bareback sex, and 54 percent confessed to having bareback sex while drunk.
  • More than half of respondents admitted to consuming cannabis, one third to taking cocaine, MDMA/ecstasy, and 11 percent to consuming crystal meth.
  • One in 20 admitted to injecting drugs or “slamming.”

“We set out to ask our readers to be as frank as possible about their lifestyle choices so that, at last, there would be some facts to either backup or debunk the many notions that are frequently alluded to,” Scott said. “What we found was fascinating, and sometimes upsetting, but if just one person now takes extra care when mixing sex with addictive substances in future, then we know we’ve done something right.”

Related stories:

Why We Have No Reason To Celebrate HIV Rates Dropping In America

Is Truvada As Effective At Preventing HIV Infection As We Thought? Maybe not.

Don’t Be A Fool, Wrap Your Tool: Queerty’s Top 10 Condom Picks

H/t: Pink News

By:           Graham Gremore
On:           Aug 1, 2014
Tagged: , , , , ,
  • 88 Comments
    • Nowuvedoneit
      Nowuvedoneit

      Truveda whores! Just kidding it’s a personal decision most make knowing full well what the consequences are. The resources are out there for everyone to make their own judgement. My only problem would be if they made the decision to have bareback sex caught a disease then expected the tax payers to foot the bill. Sorry not my money!

      Aug 1, 2014 at 1:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nowuvedoneit
      Nowuvedoneit

      @Nowuvedoneit: Let me add that my earlier comment is applied to adults that decide to have consensual bareback sex, not to those who are raped.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 1:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lefty
      Lefty

      With headlines like “‘Most’ gay men have tried drugs” , “Would you have bareback sex under the influence of drink or drugs? This survey says you might” and “Gay sex ‘linked to drink and drugs’” , it appears that rather than combat this misconception, the GT survey has instead served only to encourage it…

      http://www.fagburn.com/2014/08/drugs-and.html

      Aug 1, 2014 at 1:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Niall
      Niall

      People more likely to make stupid/careless decisions when drunk, shocker!!!

      Aug 1, 2014 at 2:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hyhybt
      hyhybt

      The “Why we have no reason to celebrate dropping HIV rates” link doesn’t work.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 2:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 1EqualityUSA
      1EqualityUSA

      wear your raincoats, boys!

      Aug 1, 2014 at 2:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dxley
      Dxley

      I’ve never really understood how you could meet someone and find yourself having sex with them a few minutes later. I frequent bars and playfully make out with some of the guys I get attracted to, but I never shag them — I have self-respect. Also, being in a relationship doesn’t guarantee you won’t catch anything either but it’s relatively safer. If you’re too drunk to use a condom, you’re too drunk to be having sex!

      Aug 1, 2014 at 2:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • masc4masc
      masc4masc

      I’m glad I’m a drowsy drunk. I never understood getting drunk to have sex. Seems like depressants would lessen sensations you’d actually want to feel.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 2:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • whatdoesittake
      whatdoesittake

      @Dxley: agreed

      Aug 1, 2014 at 2:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • whatdoesittake
      whatdoesittake

      @whatdoesittake: YES

      Aug 1, 2014 at 2:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • whatdoesittake
      whatdoesittake

      Impaired judgment (due to drugss) and the killer of misplaced trust that someone has your BEST interest at heart are the reasons for bareback sex first and HIV infection second

      Aug 1, 2014 at 2:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hyhybt
      hyhybt

      @Dxley: Reduced inhibition.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 3:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      Well, this is one reason why PrEP is very good idea and should be encouraged. There is nothing wrong with having sex after a few drinks, but the more than half of guys cannot protect themselves in this situation should not have to pay a lifelong price for a bit of innocent fooling around in the heat of the moment. It is surprising, though, how many people think they should pay that price.

      @Dxley, your self-respect can be destroyed by a bit of casual sex, it can’t be very solid in the first place, but whatever floats your boat.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 3:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • E T
      E T

      @Nowuvedoneit: I understand where you are coming from, but I respectfully disagree. Many people get treated for chronic health conditions over the course of years that were caused by their own mistakes. Drinking, smoking, not exercising, eating low nutrition and/or high calorie food, working too long of hours, not getting enough sleep. It catches up with a person, and we foot the bill. I just don’t think HIV should get special exclusion. Especially since, a responsible person can make one mistake one time and get HIV.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 6:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Danny
      Danny

      What kind of people are you surveying??? I would never do any drugs bad arc is so much better when you’re sober. These people are kidding themselves and giving the rest of us a bad name!!!!

      Aug 1, 2014 at 6:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JJ24
      JJ24

      So another words Drugs lead to poor choices shocker!(Sarcasm) Bottom line kids don’t do drugs and use a damn condom(if you choice to go bareback get tested and make sure your partner(s) also gets tested.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 6:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Wilberforce
      Wilberforce

      Oh good, another excuse for the bareback crowd.
      I drink, and sometimes heavily. But I would never have bareback sex.
      Those who do are not acting from drugs or alcohol. They do it because they’re self hating queens who don’t care about their own life or the life of their partner.
      They are sick and twisted queens, and I don’t care if they’re 10% or 90% of the community. They’re still trash.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 6:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Teeth
      Teeth

      These #s would be more meaningful if there were a straight survey also– I don’t think we own the market on getting tipsy and making sex choices. It’s just that the stakes have been so much higher for us for the last 30 years. When I was young, and much more insecure, I totally relied on liquid courage to go after what I wanted anyway. I am past that now, and I was (absurdly) lucky with not seroconverting. And I won’t rule it out ever happening again.. But I know that I don’t NEED to get loaded to have the guts to trick. And I know that I usually won’t bottom unless the guy is incredibly hot and tiny. If it were otherwise, I would be at my MDs office getting Prep.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 6:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Billy Budd
      Billy Budd

      I never had and never will have penetrative sex without a condom. Not even if drink 33oz of whisky. It is not gonna happen.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 6:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      @Wilberforce, drinking heavily, as you say you do, is a similarly self-hating habit, so I don’t know how you get off calling other people names. There are a choice few I could call people like you if I were so inclined.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 7:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      By the way, people have sex without condoms for many reasons, most of which have nothing to do with hating themselves.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 7:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • masc4masc
      masc4masc

      @Wilberforce: I was thinking the same thing. I’m leery of people who say they didn’t protect themselves, cheated on their partner, etc. because of alcohol. Would they get drunk and jump off a building? Probably not. Sometimes inebriation is just a convenient excuse to avoid responsibility.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 7:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nowuvedoneit
      Nowuvedoneit

      @E T: I wasn’t excluding any of those diseases it is a bit heartless but they are many many avenues for people to gather information about drinking, smoking, and sex. I have a host of genetic heart health issues but I’m doing my damnest not to attribute more to it. I also have my own health insurance that gets paid for all the time and life insurance in case anything happens. It’s my personal responsibility to negate as much things that do me harm in order to lead a good healthy life.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 8:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BECQueerty
      BECQueerty

      How about always? Seriously. My fuck buddy was HIV positive. Killed when a car ran him over in SF… he was perfectly healthy, even being positive… when he was in a cross walk… supposedly protected. Make your choices, they are your choices. Live/die with them. For a decade, I didn’t want to do anything with anyone because of AIDS. Well, fuck that. I rather die having a fun life than having no life.
      Deal.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 8:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ChuckGG
      ChuckGG

      “GT (Gay Times) magazine has found that gay and bi men are more likely to engage in bareback sex after using drugs or while drunk.”

      And, in other news, water reported to be wet.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 9:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anthony
    • Bromancer7
      Bromancer7

      When am I likely to have bareback sex? Whenever I want. My body, my choice.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 9:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Billy Budd
      Billy Budd

      @Bromancer7: When am I likely to commit suicide? Whenever I want. My diseased mind, my choice.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 9:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Billy Budd
      Billy Budd

      Through early morning fog I see
      visions of the things to be
      the pains that are withheld for me
      I realize and I can see…
      [REFRAIN]:
      that barebacking is painless
      it brings on many changes
      and I can take or leave it if I please.
      I try to find a way to make
      all our little joys relate
      without that ever-present hate
      but now I know that it’s too late, and…
      [REFRAIN]
      The game of life is hard to play
      I’m gonna lose it anyway
      The losing card I’ll someday lay
      so this is all I have to say.
      [REFRAIN]
      The only way to win is cheat
      And lay it down before I’m beat
      and to another give my seat
      for that’s the only painless feat.
      [REFRAIN]
      The sword of time will pierce our skins
      It doesn’t hurt when it begins
      But as it works its way on in
      The pain grows stronger…watch it grin, but…
      [REFRAIN]
      A brave man once requested me
      to answer questions that are key
      is it to be or not to be
      and I replied ‘oh why ask me?’
      [REFRAIN]
      ‘Cause barebacking is painless
      it brings on many changes
      and I can take or leave it if I please.
      …and you can do the same thing if you please

      Aug 1, 2014 at 9:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bromancer7
      Bromancer7

      @Billy Budd: If you want to commit suicide, I’m not going to stand in your way. Your body, your choice. Now if you’re trying to facetiously equate barebacking with suicide, then then your mind really is diseased.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 10:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BECQueerty
      BECQueerty

      Whatever. Just die. Thanks.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 10:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Billy Budd
      Billy Budd

      Getting HIV by a conscious act of “lack of protection” is a symptom of a diseased mind, IMHO.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 11:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • seaguy
      seaguy

      Like we needed a survey to know this? It’s well known that people are more likely to engage in risky behavior when under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Sadly many of us turn to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of being discriminated or treated badly by family, or others for being gay, or because we are having issues coming to terms with our sexuality.

      All the gay shaming and hate that comes from within the gay community certainly is not a help either.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 12:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • seaguy
      seaguy

      @Billy Budd: And I bet you think your gods gift to men, perfect in every way too don’t. Don’t fall of your high horse honey.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 12:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • seaguy
      seaguy

      @Nowuvedoneit: What if they were in a committed relationship but one of the partners lied? It’s not always so black and white. I understand what your saying someone who is a bug chaser and then wants medicaid to cover their meds pisses me off but they are rare. The idea that there are lots of people out there who want HIV because they know the govt will pay for their meds is a myth that is perpetuated by right wingers who don’t like the poor or gay people.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 12:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nowuvedoneit
      Nowuvedoneit

      @seaguy: I’m sorry that whole they are in a committed relationship excuse holds no water. Whoever decides to put their lives in the hands of others is not looking out for their own interests. If you are in a committed relationship and your partner scoffs at using condoms then they probably didn’t have your interests in mind. If you decide later to still bareback because you’ve been in a long relationship it’s still on you and not your partner, you’ve failed to look after yourself.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 1:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • michael mellor
      michael mellor

      I doubt that this poll is scientific. In any case, anal penetration is so over-rated. When I was younger, these people were called poo-jabbers.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 5:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • buffnightwing
      buffnightwing

      The first comment comes from STIGMA. I can tell you why I didn’t get tested for awhile, is because of people in this online comment section. You deserve what you get kind of statements.

      There is more STIGMA now coming from GAY men than anyone else.

      THIS is why we have huge numbers of infected young men.

      Some people on this chat thread are pretty nasty and mean. Maybe you should keep your comments to yourself so the rest of us can discuss the subject like adults, without shouting and name calling.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 6:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mmichael_24
      mmichael_24

      People who choose to go bareback good for them but ounce you get a disease don’t expect for others to feel sorry for you because you mad a bad decision.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 7:10 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • buffnightwing
      buffnightwing

      I love all these guys on here who say they will “NEVER” bareback. You guys make it sound like having sex is like killing yourself. Take off your platform shoes, come down off the stage and join the rest of us. STOP with the nasty comments, like I won’t feel sorry for you or you get what you deserve. HOW stupid. Sounds like bunch of right wing homos on here.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 7:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      @buffnightwing: I love all these guys out there who idiotically equate gay “SEX” with bareback anal sex. There is a whole universe of gay sexual experience you’re missing out on. But apparently it’s more important to you to get drunk or fucked up on meth so you can take loads up your ass. Wow, we’re impressed, please keep count because after all it’s a validation of how cute you supposedly are.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 10:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nowuvedoneit
      Nowuvedoneit

      @buffnightwing: There are no reasons now that people don’t know what can happen if you have unprotected sex. Now there’s even a drug you can take that reduces your chances of catching HIV. So no don’t come off as condoning people as immature, if you remain willfully ignorant .The only stigma I see is refuting personal responsibility.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 11:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • pressuredrop
      pressuredrop

      Well, I guess it’s nice that the Queerty comments section is populated by stately, not-at-all-condescending nuns who never make bad decisions.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 12:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      @pressuredrop, I think you got the nun part right indeed. :) It seems clear sex is nothing but an abstract concept for quite a few of these trollers.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 12:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nowuvedoneit
      Nowuvedoneit

      @pressuredrop: Making bad decisions does not absolve your part in it. The only time anyone should feel bad is if you were raped or drugged against your will. Party and play all you want but accept your decisions and consequences afterwards as adults. Don’t try making others feel pity for your lack of discretion.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 1:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bromancer7
      Bromancer7

      @Billy Budd: I bareback all the time, been doing so for 20+ years, and I don’t have HIV. So yeah, tell me more about my diseased mind.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 1:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • masc4masc
      masc4masc

      @buffnightwing: What a load of bull! You didn’t go get tested because of “online stigma” from total strangers? All I see is a good reason for you to stay off the internet. Man up and take responsibility for your own health.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 1:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Billy Budd
      Billy Budd

      @Bromancer7: If every gay person in the world behaved like you, what would have happened? Have you ever read any paper about the dynamics of an epidemic? I recommend this introduction to system dynamics. It is the modeling technique that I learned at MIT.

      http://ocw.mit.edu/courses/sloan-school-of-management/15-871-introduction-to-system-dynamics-fall-2013/assignments/MIT15_871F13_ass1_SARS.pdf

      Aug 2, 2014 at 1:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Billy Budd
      Billy Budd

      BTW, Bromancer, I think you are a liar! Or else you’re the luckiest SOB in the gay world.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 1:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Billy Budd
      Billy Budd

      @Bromancer7: I bet you also won the lottery hundreds of times, using the same numbers.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 1:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • pressuredrop
      pressuredrop

      @Nowuvedoneit

      No, it doesn’t absolve anybody’s part in it. That’s what makes them decisions and not random acts of fate.

      My argument is that so many of the people trying to shame others for engaging in risky behaviors may not make bad decisions in one aspect of their life but probably make bad decisions in others. (In fact, I’m not entirely unconvinced that some of the people who are harping on bareback sex don’t end up having a lot more of it than they’re willing to acknowledge.) This argument can be applied to any disease where the causes are self-determined.

      I really do agree that the equation of HIV contraction with stupidity is a major factor that shames gay men into not checking their own status. In essence, it’s totally counter-productive and faces the same problem that abstinence-only education faces, which is that shaming people doesn’t lessen tier desire for sex, only forces them to pretend it doesn’t happen.

      The resident trolls may write whatever snotty comments they want about that being stupid, but – surprise! – that’s how a lot of people actually behave… and not just on the internet, where they happen to hang out all day.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 2:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • pressuredrop
      pressuredrop

      @Nowuvedoneit

      Also, I never said anything about my lack of discretion, so lose the personal touches.

      I don’t know where the idea exists that people with HIV don’t accept the consequences of their actions. Kind of seems like they already had to learn that lesson.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 3:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      I am starting to really hate the word “barebacking” to describe what is really just normal sex, something all straight people and most gay people do. The word has become a Pavlov trigger that just shuts down all reasonable thought and brings out the worst hysterics in many people.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 3:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      @pressuredrop: “In fact, I’m not entirely unconvinced that some of the people who are harping on bareback sex don’t end up having a lot more of it than they’re willing to acknowledge.”

      Nice “logic” there. You probably think the Sandy Hook mothers are hypocrites who secretly belong to gun clubs and masturbate with guns up their c*nts like Sarah Palin does?

      Aug 2, 2014 at 3:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      @vive: Really, you think ALL heterosexuals engage in unprotected ANAL sex? Please don’t do that dumb Mark King thing where he conflates anal sex with vaginal sex.

      And really, you think MOST gay men engage in unprotected anal sex? I doubt it. Got any proof, even any polling data? Just because you want to do it, and you talk most guys you encounter into doing it, and you’re on PReP so it’s extremely low risk, doesn’t mean “most” gay men actually do it or even want to. That’s just your corner of the world.

      If you hate the word “bareback,” well, it was invented by the barebackers, not by their opponents. The sex ads where guys want that all say bareback or “BB.” Complain to them!

      Believe it or not, many or most gay men just don’t get what is supposed to be so alluring about it. What exactly is the fascination? What is the big *fucking* deal?

      This is totally aside from PReP which (as I’ve said before) seems totally appropriate for you.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 3:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      At any rate, the bareback fanatics need to get their stories “straight.”

      First they’re sure that anyone who disagrees with them – or worse, makes fun of them – must be a “nun” who isn’t getting any sex. But oh, wait, now they think anyone who disagrees with them must be a hypocrite who’s secretly barebacking?

      Make up your minds!

      Aug 2, 2014 at 4:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      @Ben Dover, yes, most gay men have condomless anal sex. According to the above poll at least 55% admit to doing so, but there are more formal studies that you can easily google. I seem to remember numbers between 60% and 80% but I am too lazy to look it up for you right now. The point is, yes, certainly more than half.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 4:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      @Ben Dover, why separate anal and vaginal sex as if vaginal is “better” than anal? Vaginal sex is a major driver of the epidemic in the US, especially among minorities, and is the principal driver of the enormous epidemic in Africa.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 4:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      @Ben Dover, you can google the CDC study reporting that in 2011, about 57% of American gay men were having unprotected anal sex.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 5:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      @Ben Dover, and there is a University of Westminster study concluding that about 80% of gay Londoners are having unprotected anal sex.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 5:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      @vive: (Sigh.) I’M NOT SAYING IT’S “BETTER”! Why, why, why do you ALWAYS do that??? I’m just noting the fact that it IS different in terms in of HIV transmission. Unfortunately it’s much easier to transmit anally.

      @vive: I’m unfamiliar with GT so I don’t know what their demographic is. Queerty, uncharacteristically, does not provide a link to it, but the poll seems to be a self-selected one. (Perhaps you recall the Fox News echo chamber for Romney in 2012, or high school history class where they said the Literary Digest in 1936 predicted a landslide victory for Alf Landon over FDR and immediately went out of business after that.)

      For instance, GT says 2/3 of its readership – or at least 2/3 of its poll survey – uses “recreational drugs,” however that’s defined. If they’re just tossing marijuana in there, I think that’s ridiculous. If someone were to conclude from this that “2/3 of gay men use recreational drugs” (other than marijuana), that’s simply libelous – more suitable for right-wing homophobes than for serious discussion.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 5:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      @vive: @vive: That’s just depressing! So why are you guys on a vendetta against condoms?

      Aug 2, 2014 at 5:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      @Ben Dover, I s under the impression they included alcohol in their definition of recreational drugs, but the above link to the original doesn’t work and I can’t be bothered to look it up.

      I agree that it is depressing that so many people are having unprotected sex. I am certainly not against condoms, but I think the statistics reflect how much many guys despise using them, and it seems the time may be right to try other interventions besides condoms, so people at least have other choices.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 5:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      *I was [goddamn useless iPad]

      Aug 2, 2014 at 5:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bromancer7
      Bromancer7

      @Billy Budd: I have no reason to lie. And I can only speak for myself. I don’t ever tell anyone else what they should or shouldn’t do, but I’m not going to make excuses for what I chose to do or how I chose to do it. I’m an adult, and I’ll do what I please, fully accepting the risks of my behavior. I don’t like condoms, have never been able to have pleasurable sex while wearing one, so it’s pointless for me to do so. Again, MY choice. What YOU decide to do is your business.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 6:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      @Bromancer, that is understandable. I don’t enjoy sex with condoms either, at all (I can’t even reach orgasm that way) and simply couldn’t wait for a steady partner to have barrierless sex after having been single for 4 years. We only live once and refraining from satisfactory sex was making life not worth it for me.

      I think the all or nothing US approach to safer sex may be counterproductive. For too long the message has been to always use a condom and has ignored the needs of those who don’t always do so. In certain other Western countries, health authorities have adapted their message to the actual situation on the ground and apart from the condom message advised guys who don’t use them on measures they can take to reduce their risk (a big no-no in American prevention messages), such as using lots of lube, not ejaculating inside, serosorting, and aggressively promoting PEP. How many Americans have even heard of PEP ever? (Never mind PrEP.)

      The America black or white approach also may have the unintended side effect that guys who slip up a couple of times then assume that they are probably already infected and they might as well stop taking any precautions. Information that may be helpful to them in not giving up on precautions, e.g. the statistic that the risk per receptive anal encounter is actually quite low (about 1 in 300) is withheld.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 7:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • lykeitiz
      lykeitiz

      @Bromancer7: So….you’ve been freely barebacking for 20+ years and are HIV-. Hmmm, no mention of your position though (top or bottom).

      It could also be you are one of the SMALL percentage of people immune to HIV.

      Although you’re right, it’s your body & your choice, I hope you’re not suggesting that your experience is the norm.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 7:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cobalt Blue
      Cobalt Blue

      Only the most vicious, depraved or ignorant can defend bareback sex in times of AIDS. Some day you, barebackers, will reap what you sowed. No wonder people see us all as a bunch of abnormals.

      Aug 3, 2014 at 12:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • pressuredrop
      pressuredrop

      @Ben Dover

      What do the Sandy Hooks mothers have to do with anything? They went on television and gave direct interviews and whatnot, which I realize people still lie while doing, but it at least adds a bit of credibility to their ability to back their own beliefs.

      I, on the other hand, am doubting the pristine credibility of internet strangers. On the topic of sex, no less, because nobody ever lies about that on the internet.

      But no, do go on with telling me what I think.

      I’ve never even argued that bareback sex was a good thing, or a bad thing, or anything, only that it’s unhealthy to call people who have HIV stupid because it creates a divide in the community and makes the problem worse. I didn’t refer to you as a nun because you aren’t having sex, I called you, and like-minded posters, nuns because the whole idea of shaming HIV-carriers is to make yourself feel better by separating and demonizing the “bad gays” who made bad decisions. And I also argued that it’s hypocritical to act like you still don’t make bad decisions every day.

      Aug 3, 2014 at 5:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      @Cobalt Blue, really, we are the abnormals, when pretty much all straight people have barrierless sex?

      In any case, barrierless sex is not dangerous when your partner is negative, successfully on HAART, or if you are on PrEP. Hysterical exaggerations don’t help the discussion either.

      Aug 3, 2014 at 9:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • buffnightwing
      buffnightwing

      Some of you guys need to get laid. I mean “laid” too, not just boring sex. What a bunch of self shaming homo hating group online here. Think I’m done posting on here, since you girls just want to attack each other. This whole conversation is exactly why HIV is out of control.

      Sounds like Louie Gohmert and Michelle Bahcmann on here.

      GEEZ LOUISE!

      Aug 3, 2014 at 10:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bromancer7
      Bromancer7

      @lykeitiz: For the record I’m a top. And while it’s possible I’m one of the tiny % of people that is immune to HIV I really have no way of knowing for sure and wouldn’t even begin to know how to go about finding out.

      And I was suggesting nothing beyond what I explicitly stated — my own experiences and choices.

      Aug 3, 2014 at 11:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      @Bromancer7, you can actually get the genetic test to determine that. I did it about 8 years ago to see if my anxiety regarding infection (which was very high at the time) was necessary. There was a lab that did it via mail order – it may still exist. Turns out I am in the 10% who have one copy of the relevant allele, which means that while I am more resistant than average, I am not immune. You need to have two copies to be immune – only about 1% of the U.S. population of European descent does as far as I recall.

      Aug 3, 2014 at 12:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dxley
      Dxley

      @ Cobalt Blue: For once, I’m agreeing with @vive. That’s pretty weak! Look around. What do you see? A staggering exponential growth of the human population. How did the straight people whose approval you want so much achieve that? That’s right; through unprotected sex.

      I just got out of a long-term relationship with a guy I met in college and we never used condoms. Why should we? We were faithful to each other — that’s always the assumption in all relationships, especially in heterosexual ones, hence the exploding numbers in populations. Are they abnormal? Many heterosexual men have children scattered all over the place and many heterosexual women have multiple children by multiple men (some people here could even be products of those), and I’m pretty sure 90% of them didn’t bother getting tested before they copulated, but no one says anything about the unsafe practises simply because they’re heterosexual.

      Sorry to break it to you, but most people don’t use protection and that’s why scientists are always trying to find other means of combating the spread of these often fatal diseases without compromising people’s sexual pleasure. It doesn’t make any of these people who engage in unprotected sex “…vicious, depraved or ignorant…” — it’s the fact of life, which is very apparent if you’d take off your blinders and stop being such a self-righteous prick.

      I encourage safe sex, but I’m also realistic. Should gay married people use condoms? Should long-term partners? Assuming, of course, that everyone gets tested before any penetrative sex in a relationship. Don’t like bareback? Don’t bareback. “…a bunch of abnormals.” Wow!!!

      Aug 3, 2014 at 12:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hyhybt
      hyhybt

      “Some of you guys need to get laid. I mean “laid” too, not just boring sex.” — How are you defining getting laid.

      Aug 3, 2014 at 2:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • masc4masc
      masc4masc

      @Dxley: Be careful with gay/hetero comparisons regarding HIV/AIDS though. It’s like comparing the frivolous spending of a person just getting by on a supplemental income to the frivolous spending of a millionaire.

      Aug 3, 2014 at 5:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • EdgarCarpenter
      EdgarCarpenter

      I am most likely to have bareback sex after an effective anti-hiv vaccine comes on the market.

      Aug 3, 2014 at 9:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • odawg
      odawg

      @Nowuvedoneit: How would you insure your money wasn’t used? It must be great to be like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way.

      Aug 4, 2014 at 12:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • buffnightwing
      buffnightwing

      the BOTTOM line is: It is NO ONE’S BUSINESS WHOM I HAVE SEX WITH OR WHOM I BAREBACK WITH. That is between the two or three or four of us to decide. Bunch of OLD BITTER QUEENS on this chat thread. LOL

      I like it RAW. I take Truvada and there’s not a thing you can do you idiots.

      Aug 4, 2014 at 7:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • buffnightwing
      buffnightwing

      @Nowuvedoneit: You just described EVERYONE with HIV. I am glad you are paying for my HIV meds. Glad it makes you mad. Of course it sounds like everything makes YOU mad. LOL

      PS: You are also paying the OIL companies money, you pay for War, you pay for all sorts of things YOU don’t personally feel is vital. It’s called a DEMOCRACY and TAXES. I didn’t want to pay 3 trillion dollars for war, so a few thousand bucks for my pills is FINE WITH ME.

      Aug 4, 2014 at 8:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      @buffnightwing, anything that takes money away from wars is a good thing. Imagine how many diseases we could have cured with 3 trillion dollars.

      Aug 4, 2014 at 9:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • onthemark
      onthemark

      @vive: You seem a little obsessed with what straight people are doing. How is that even relevant to this discussion? Oooooh the unfairness of it, all those straight people having “barrierless” sex? There are lots of straight people having “barrierless” sex who really should use condoms! Paying child support for 18 years, on a minimum wage job, for a kid you hardly ever see, sounds even more annoying than getting HIV. Go to any Family Court and hear the tales of woe. Anyway I agree with you about HAART and PrEP etc.

      @buffnightwing: I don’t quite get your situation. Since you’re already poz, is Truvada the only thing you’re taking? It’s almost always discussed here in terms of PrEP which of course is for neg people.

      Aug 4, 2014 at 12:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Quincy
      Quincy

      Barebacking is choice that we all must think about and consider. If you have several, anonymous partners, then I would not do it. If I have found the right guy, of course I will bareback with him. We cannot live out lives in fear that everything we do and eat, no pun intended, will kill us and destroy us. Life it too short not to enjoy some of the pleasure out there that are waiting for us. I am pro barebacking, but even with that, I still want to know their history.

      Aug 4, 2014 at 2:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      @onthemark, my comment regarding straight people was in response to a poster worrying that straight people wouldn’t like us if we don’t use condoms.

      Aug 4, 2014 at 4:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AxelDC
      AxelDC

      Wait, you paid for a study to tell you that people take more risks when they are drunk or high???

      Sep 22, 2014 at 3:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geeker
      Geeker

      The drug use and barebacking that’s rampant in the gay community just shows that human beings are sadly,very bad at resisting their biological urges and denying themselves pleasure,even when that pleasure has the potential for deadly or disastrous consequences and I doubt that will change anytime soon.

      Sep 22, 2014 at 4:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Realityis
      Realityis

      Newsflash… HIV isn’t going anywhere anytime soon… unless they find a cure. Truvada won’t eliminate it and if you get drunk or do drugs and have unprotected sex and become HIV positive then you have no one to blame but yourself and possibly the other guy if he lied to you. Kinda like what happened to me, except neither of us were drunk or high, and we had been together for at least a year….
      And guess what, if you get HIV, then you have all of the fun of worrying about what’s going to happen next… These drugs suck bad. Just say NO!

      Sep 22, 2014 at 9:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • carriegay1971
      carriegay1971

      I do know this much If your allergic to latex condom is a issue, I know I am not into condoms I always make sure my partner is clean and I check myself reg. I am into bareback and swallowing so I don’t let that stop me. I don’t use drugs or alcohol and I love men and the taste of men, but of course I am 42 now so sex stops for me no one wants anything to do with us gays over 40 so I am safe lmao….

      Sep 23, 2014 at 12:03 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

    Add your Comment

    Please log in to add your comment

    Need an account? Register It's free and easy.



  • QUEERTY DAILY

     




    FROM AROUND THE WEB

    Copyright 2014 Queerty, Inc.
    Follow Queerty at Queerty.com, twitter.com/queerty and facebook.com/queerty.