on language
Where Did the Word ‘Lesbian’ Go?
Asking women to reflect on the word “lesbian” is a bit like administering a smeary Rorschach test: You get little sense of the literal blob in question, but a good sense of where the blob-watcher is coming from. Many agree, however, that women’s increasing use of the word “gay” is in part a reflection of the lgbt population’s efforts to present a united, palatable front as they make the case that they’re “normal” enough to merit the freedoms taken for granted by the hetero mainstream. Buy into a widely accepted term, the thinking seems to go, and things will go a lot more smoothly.
—R. F. McCann on the disappearance of the word “lesbian” in favor of “gay,” even among women [Bitch, in a really excellent essay on word choice]
I like women and only women. I don’t identify as a lesbian. It has nothing to do with presenting a “united gay front.” It’s because the word “lesbian” says either too much or too little about gender identity. And because, to me, a lesbian is the “dirty word” others use in lockrooms to trash talk their athletic opponents or the girl no one liked in middle school. “Lesbian” isn’t a term I hear and think of adult sexuality; every time I hear it, I’m reminded of insults and mockery.
so, KTBISL32
What word or phrase do you use?
Gay is used as the dirty word too far more frequently. People often say that’s so gay but never that’s so lesbian. People just use gay to lump all the groups together so it’s simpler.
I just think “lesbian” sounds like a disease. Sorry, can’t go to work today, I have lesbian.
I’ve always just said that I’m gay. I also like that “gay” is an adjective vs. a noun. If you are a lesbian, that’s all you are, whereas gay can be one of many adjectives. I can be “a female, gay, young, professional”, which I like much more than “a lesbian”.
Also, “lesbian” is a reference to Sappho, which just brings up the whole bad-poetry thing. Yecch! I far prefer “gay.”
I’m not buying this. Then is “bi” going to become “gay”? Same for “trans”? I think not.
Amanda, I totally agree. When one defines oneself or someone else as a lesbian, it becomes a brand. It limits the definition of that person (which should be a complex issue) to something very short and simple. However the adjective “gay” allows for a much broader definition of the person in question, implying only that that person is attracted to members of the same sex.
what is a lesbian?
I’d prefer Lezzy
@Amanda. I like your humor. I also agree with 150%. I like your view on just “gay.”
Wow, that really is a great and well-written article. Was able to really explore the issue without degenerating into postmodern semantic nonsense.
it’s worth mentioning that the people who live on the Isle of Lesbos are a bit tired of sharing the term “Lesbian” with homosexual women….
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7376919.stm
Could it not be a lot simpler? Other words with separate forms for men and women, such as “actor” and “actress,” have seen the feminine version fall out of favor. Why should the separation of “gay” and “lesbian” be different?
If I could get away with identifying as dyke all the time, I would. That I call myself gay has nothing to do with wanting to be seen as normal. It’s just that lesbians before me wrapped that identity so close to a particular ideology that it sometimes feels strange to call myself a lesbian.
I just don’t feel the whole Sappho Greek history thing. And this isn’t a new thing. When I came out in the mid 90s, the word that came to mind was “gay”. “Lesbian” just said more or something different than what I was feeling.