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Where Do India’s Transgender Women Go to Find Potential Husbands? The Internet, of Course

kalkiindia

Maybe you met your same-sex significant other on Match.com, Gay.com, Adam4Adam, or, uh, Grindr? The options for openly transgender daters, however, are much slimmer; sites like TGPersonals.com and TransPassions.com are either unstable or poorly designed, with small userbases. But that’s not deterring India’s transgender population, where MTF single ladies have a brand new option in finding a mate.

Thirunangai.net, started by a one Kalki (pictured) after two of her trans friends were rejected by traditional dating sites, gives trans women the opportunity to find a husband. Reports AFP:

A new site offers to help people born as men but living as women find husbands in a country where marriage remains the bedrock of society and gender and sexuality are still conservatively defined.

“Many men are attracted to transgender women, but when it comes to commitment they don’t want to do it,” the founder of the website, Kalki, who uses one name, explained to AFP.

“The types of grooms that our girls are looking for are men who would respect them as an equal human being, who would treat them with dignity and would introduce them to friends and family as a girlfriend or wife.”

Transgenders and eunuchs — men who have been castrated — live on the extreme fringes of Indian society, often resorting to prostitution, begging or menial jobs that leave them mired in poverty.

Their numbers are difficult to estimate. Kalki says there are about 20,000 in her adopted state of Tamil Nadu, the most socially progressive area in the country with a total population of about 60 million.

Not that Thirunangai.net is the be all, end all of the online transgender dating business; it features just six MTF profiles, all from post-op women. And if you thought your average Gaydar.net troll had a lot of baggage, wait till you meet these gals.

Poorly educated, often abused and tarred by the social stigma of their blurred gender, it is unsurprising that many in the community struggle to find the love and steady relationship they crave.

“We feel love and passion like anyone else and we want to have a family and a husband, even though we can’t bear children. We’d like to adopt children,” says Kalki.

The site, available in English and Tamil, features six women, most of whom have had full sex change operations and are looking for “ordinary” men for a long-term relationship and even marriage.

One of them is Sowmiya, a 23-year-old former sex worker who ran away from home aged 15 and is now a campaigner at Kalki’s Sahodari Foundation, a non-government organisation that fights for the rights of transgenders.

“I put my profile on the site because I want to get married to a nice man and I want a baby,” she told AFP from her home in Chennai. “I don’t mind if he is not too educated, but he must be faithful to me and have a kind character.”

By:           editor editor
On:           Dec 29, 2009
Tagged: , , , , ,

  • 9 Comments
    • sal(the original)
      sal(the original)

      gosh i wish those gals all the luck

      Dec 29, 2009 at 12:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jessica Sideways
      Jessica Sideways

      I do wish these sisters all the luck in the world… I am having issues finding a husband here in the United States. I am looking to create a site for marriage-minded transsexuals and cissexuals.

      Dec 29, 2009 at 6:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lynn
      Lynn

      Although the AFP article didn’t mention it, Kalki’s last name is Subramanian. The dating website is just one initiative of the transgender advocacy organization she heads. The plan is for the website to diversify into a portal for transgender support.

      Dec 30, 2009 at 8:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael
      Michael

      I also wish these ladies all the luck in the world. It is hard enough to be happy today especially without a true mate. I have had similar problems here in the states. i have always been interested in pre-op transgendered women and have a hard time finding good websites for communication and meeting tgirls. I do not consider myself gay because I am not attracted to men, so a gay dating site is a waste of my time. I have tried some transgendered sites with limited success. I came across one site Photowoo. They seem to be just getting started but they do offer totally free membership to tgirls. I just hope more tgirls notice it.

      Feb 2, 2010 at 1:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jessica Sideways
      Jessica Sideways

      Why just pre-op t-girls, Michael? Why not post-op t-girls too?

      Feb 2, 2010 at 1:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael
      Michael

      Hey Jessica,

      I am not sure if I can answer that quickly or easily but I will try. I have had the chance to meet several pre-op girls and have loved talking to them. They were very nice, open minded about life and most have been well educated. I have also never had the chance to meet a post op girl. I am not sure if I would be as interested or not though. I have a different thought process. I love the look of a woman but and not turned on about having sex with one. Whereas with a man i am not interested in their looks but very turned on by certain features. with pre-ops i get the best of life. I hope this helps

      Feb 2, 2010 at 3:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • George
      George

      Well can u arrange a transgender for me to marry, I am male 36 working in Kochi

      Mar 27, 2011 at 12:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • THEADORA K GREEN
      THEADORA K GREEN

      @Jessica Sideways: please we women here need a site like that because some of us would love to get married unlike our genetic female counterparts for some reason we really understand our men and how to calm them down n such

      Dec 17, 2011 at 11:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • chris mustang
      chris mustang

      Dear jessica

      I would love to get to know you and in hopes to take that next step with you.

      Chris

      Jul 6, 2012 at 3:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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