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Why Aren’t You Unfriending Your Ex On Facebook?

After splitting with their boyfriends and girlfriends, 59 percent of people don’t delete their now-exes from their Facebook friend list, while 74 percent continue to Google their former lovers. Granted, the research comes from dating site YourTango.com, which is focused on the hetero market, but part of me (based on zero scientific evidence) thinks the rate of exes staying Facebook friends would be higher among the gays, since our friends are the same sex as our dating pool, and more often than with heteros, removing an ex on Facebook would remove a key link in our friendship circles. Thoughts?

By:           JD
On:           Feb 1, 2011
Tagged: , ,
  • 12 Comments
    • Fitz
      Fitz

      I don’t have a lot of ex’s, thankfully. Just one great guy. But I am FB friends with some of my high school and college flings, and their wives. I’m not some straight dude who is threatened by friendship. Yet another gift of the homo.

      Feb 1, 2011 at 11:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Eric
      Eric

      Friends with other gays? Who’d want to be friends with that catty bunch? All my friends are straight girls.

      Feb 1, 2011 at 1:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ChicagoJimmy
      ChicagoJimmy

      My ex tried to contact me through Linked In a couple years ago. I believe her message was, “You look like you’re doing good. Let’s catch up.” Bitch please! They call it divorce for a reason.

      Feb 1, 2011 at 1:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Adry
      Adry

      My ex and I staid friends after we broke up our 3 years relationship, some 6 years a go and although my now “husband” at first was not entirely happy of our friendship, that was what our relationship developed into and he was forced to deal with it. I am aware that had that not been the case I would have lost friends, and people that I love.But the same goes for him.
      I do know that between my streight friends that is ofthen NOT the case as they tend to HATE their Xs and usually for extention I am forced not to hang out and further a friendship that could be great.
      Most of my gay friends on the other hand usually remain cordial or even friends with their Xs…

      Feb 1, 2011 at 4:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SteamPunk
      SteamPunk

      I wonder if this study is just more overall evidence of how the definition of “Friends” have changed in the past decade? For example, I was “friends” with my ex on Facebook (until I deleted my Facebook account, that is), but the truth is that we hadn’t spoken in the last 2 years. We aren’t true friends – though not enemies, either. He’s just… there.

      The same goes for another ex of mine who sent a Facebook Friend request after not having spoken for nearly a decade. I couldn’t even tell you anything that’s happened in her life in the past 5 years, but there she is on my Facebook Friends List, despite the fact that we never interact.

      Truth is, I had totally forgotten those people were on Facebook with me and that’s why they were still there. Or maybe it was me subconsciously being polite by be-friending them in the virtual world?

      Feb 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • alejandro
      alejandro

      those that ended badly i deleted them..

      Feb 1, 2011 at 4:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeffree
      Jeffree

      @Alejandro: I’m with you; any guy who dumped me (“How dare he?”) gets unfriended; any guy who was “lucky” enough to spend time with me but didn’t work out (“Nice try!” stays on friend status unless they’re clingy or smell of desperation.

      To be honest, I don’t do much else on F’book other than a weekly update, link to music stuff and stay in touch with out of town friends/family. I occasionally will tell people about an upcoming speech or comedy gig, but I prefer face-to-face contact to virtual postcards.

      My lesbian amigas tend to keep each other on permanent Friend status forever, but I don’t know if that’s common outside our big wild expanding interlocking network of friends and exes.

      Feb 1, 2011 at 4:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • rodrigo
      rodrigo

      Well, back when I had facebook, I did keep my ex’s in my friends list. But lets be honest, it’s kind of hurtful when you are trying to get over someone and then seeing new pictures, and updates etc. Which is why I deleted my facebook all together- out of sight out of mind ;)

      To be honest, maybe deleting your profile over someone is a little extreme, but it did wonders for me!

      Feb 1, 2011 at 5:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • testington
      testington

      I don’t unfriend them because I am a mature adult and remain on civil terms with people even if we stop dating.

      Feb 1, 2011 at 8:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rudy
      Rudy

      Block him/her. Don’t make the same mistake. Its over, its over for a reason. Thankfully I never liked any of his friends, got rid of them too. Peace out assholes!

      Feb 1, 2011 at 10:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • HD G Vid
      HD G Vid

      ive deleted all my ex fb account, doesnt mean that im immature, its just i dont care about them anymore. why bother

      Feb 2, 2011 at 1:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Franky
      Franky

      @Eric:
      You say that as if straight girls aren’t catty. I guess you just fell on an exceptional bunch then lol.

      Feb 2, 2011 at 10:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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