Why Doesn’t Your Athletic Shoe Have Semen On It?

THE SHOT — Who needs the hanky code when you can wear your sexual interests on your shoe? A reader submits this photo from Delta Sky Mall, where the Gravity Defyer’s sperm logo can be yours for $129.95. “Engineered with the serious athlete in mind,” the website’s product description reads. “These incredible sport shoes are designed to improve your game using advanced Gravity Defyer technology. Assembled with black synthetic leather, a rubber out sole and a five-lace front, these will equip you with the tools you need to succeed. The MXT-S1 soles provide you with unparalleled cushioning and support, reducing stress from your muscles and joints. You’ve never played as hard as easy before.” I. just. can’t.