That Louise Egan Brunstad story really brought us down. To cheer ourselves up, we’re reviving the short-lived Why Gay Me?
How short-lived was it? Well, it didn’t make it past the pilot posting, brought to an untimely death by a tragic lack of response. We were heart-broken, to say the least.
But, we’re hopeful you kids will step up to offer your most embarrassing hook-ups, trip-ups, and fuck-ups. C’mon, don’t be shy! We’ve all had our share of humiliation, so why not have a nice, friendly laugh? Here’s an example of what we’re looking for:
A freshly dumped friend of ours decided to cheer himself up by having a good ol’ fashioned drunken Friday night slut fest. As he’d been trapped in an unhappy, sexless relationship for nearly two years, he got a bit too zealous and wound up absolutely twisted by eleven.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
As happens, his drunkeness only enhanced his surging libido and he managed to slur his way through superficial flirting before going back to his hunky trick’s nearby apartment.
Upon arriving, the trick offered our friend a nice glass of scotch before going down for a little oral action. Again, our friend was trashed beyond belief, and thus over-estimated his ability to hold his booze. WItin seconds of downing the scotch, it (and a slew of other things) came right back up, landing unceremoniously on the back of his trick’s bobbing head.
Needless to say, there wasn’t a second hook-up.
See? Wasn’t that fun? Plus, the more responses we get, the more opportunities we have to use this great picture of a made-up monkey.
We bet he’s so embarrassed.
Jase
When I was a stupid little college boy, I found myself in a strange situation one night. This can most definitely be called a fuck-up.
I was volunteering at an AIDS organization by handing out condoms in a bar in the college town where I was going to school. Being the flirtatious little slut that I was, I was having a really good time handing out condoms and making random comments to all of the boys that were there. Many drinks were purchased for me as I couldn’t leave my post to go to the bar, and needless to say I got a little more inebriated than I was expecting too that evening.
One especially cute boy kept coming over to the table, so I used my never failing line – “Can I buy you a drink, or shall we just grab a six-pack and go home and fuck?’. As my shift was over and the line actually worked, we were off to my house.
As I shouldn’t have been driving, the car really wasn’t staying in the lane as it should be. As I crossed a bridge, I almost hit a cop car that was stopped assisting a towing truck tow a stalled car. Being the stupid little drunk college boy that I was, I decided that I could out run the cop in my toyota corrolla. Not so much.
After performing several sobriety tests, the cop concluded that I was indeed drunk. He slapped on the cuffs and threw me in the back of the cop car (leaving my trick to fend for himself), but the stupidity didn’t stop there. All I could think about was the fact that I was going to jail and wouldn’t be able to have a cigarette once I was in there. So me, in my infinite college smartness (I know it’s not a word) slipped my tiny little faggot wrists out of the handcuffs and lit a cigarette up in the back of the cop car. Not such a smart idea.
Luckily, I’ve grown up a bit since then.
Ryan
Sadly, I’m far too boring to have any good stories of this variety. However, I’m single in case anyone wants to make any with me =p
jack e. jett
this is one of the best shots of lynne cheney ever taken.
jackejett
erik
Good god, what’s happened to this blog? If this is just going to continue in the snotty, bitchy vein of late, I’ll move my eyeballs and clicks elsewhere.
Boooooring.
Noah
Most of my early adulthood consists of scenes out of some weird “gay Macgyver” episode…where i had to create bizarre solutions to “sticky” situations.
My friends and I still laugh about one particular incident. After gnawing my arm off and escaping a “tricks†mom’s house (who was downstairs cooking breakfast) I proceeded to climb out the 3rd story bedroom window and scaled the house low enough to jump without breaking a leg. I of course had no phone or keys because my awesome friends had ditched me at the bar the night before. I was forced to walk several miles to an acquaintance’s house who of course was not home. So I broke into their house to use their phone. 2 problems— #1 no one has landline phones anymore & #2 I didn’t know a single number off the top of my head. So being the diabolical genius I am I logged on to their computer (which took a while because it was password protected) and then to AIM, where a single solitary friend was online. This friend of course was not in the same city or state for that matter and could not come pick me up. But then the solution came to me like a bolt of lighting…that is when I logged onto to my T-MOBILE account and asked my “buddy†to call my last three calls I made…one was bound to be home. The 3rd call was that very same friend who had ditched me at the bar…who had my stuff…and who arrived at the house in a matter of minutes. All this and I was still intoxicated from the night before…classy.
BT
Booze and sexy, a fatal combination. Sure your friend had some fun and needed to, but hell, what he needs is a new relationship where hairy muscle hugs are commonplace and he has sex that is not inhibited by booze.
Having hit that low point, your friend has everything to gain as he finds true love and happiness.
Great blog post. Thanks for sharing.