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bi now, gay later

Will Anyone Ever Believe Real World DC‘s Mike Manning Is Bi?

SOUNDBITES — “Yes, I am more attracted to guys. If I was standing in a room of attractive males and attractive females, I’d probably take a boy home, or I’d pay more attention to the guys. But I’ve talked to my gay guy friends who have never been with a girl or who have been with a girl once or twice, and I know I’m more attracted to a female than a gay man would be. I am aroused by naked girls, and they’re not. For whatever reason — my genes, my makeup, my hormones, whatever you want to blame it on — God made me attracted to both sexes. That’s just how it is. I’m more attracted to guys, and I’ll admit that. I’ll admit that to you in an interview, and I’ll admit that on national television. I don’t know where people get the impression that I’m too insecure to admit that I’m gay.” —Real World DC‘s Mike Manning, insisting, dammit, that he’s actually bi (via)

EARLIER: The One Where We Truly Fall In Love With Real World DC’s Mike (And His Mother)

By:           editor editor
On:           Feb 19, 2010
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  • 45 Comments
    • AlanInSLCUtah
      AlanInSLCUtah

      There is no problem with him claiming he is bisexual. It is his life, his choice, his happiness with his own self identification. If his understanding of himself is that he is bisexual, then we should respect that personal conclusion and support him with that decision. No other argument needs to be made.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 9:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jon B
      Jon B

      @AlanInSLCUtah: Couldn’t agree more. It’s so odd to me that anytime someone claims bisexuality, the only group that attacks them is the LGBT community. HELLOOOOOOO…. it’s lgBt… why do we include the B if we refuse to accept anyone who takes on that label? Furthermore, it seems like he’s managed to come across as a great guy throughout Real World which cannot be easy to do. He works for HRC (granted, not everybody’s favorite gay organization right now) and he meets with his Congressional Representatives. That’s more than I can say for a lot of people who label themselves as strictly gay.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 10:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • I pliss
      I pliss

      I have sex with a woman at least once a year! I was in a 5 year relationship with a woman and was monogamous. It’s a little different with a woman. Especially the type that knows you fuck around with guys. They try to make it extra good so you would want to come back for more and forget about the guy. It’s actually hot! lol I had a girl that picked up boys and we would take him home and fool around. Good ole days. I love men. But I still have sex with woman. I’m not sure if I still say I’m bi but I am because I willingly have sex with both genders! Get over it. Gay guys always bash bi men. But it’s
      Lesbian
      Gay
      BI
      Transgenders
      LGBT!!!
      why can’t we all understand that? Gay men and straight men think alike on this. Women can be bi but if a man says he’s bi he is automatically gay. Right now I’m fucking around with Married couple and she loves to see me fuck her husband. they are happily married! Bi rules!

      Feb 19, 2010 at 10:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      No, gay guys don’t always bash bi’s. What usually happens is that somebody like as feminine as Clay Aiken or Johnny Weir, etc… will begin the coming out process by saying that they are bi, and if anybody on a blog dares to say “Oh please, they’ll be saying that they’re gay within six months” a hoard of angry Bi’s come on here attacking people for saying what we have all seen to be true a number of times. They call names, attack gays as bigots etc… and then the funny thing…when later on, the people DO come out as gay I have yet to see one Bi person come back on here and apologize or admit that they were wrong about that person. Do I believe that bisexuality exists? Sure, but do I also realize that a huge number of gay guys begin the comming out process by saying that they “Might be bi”. The inability of many bi’s to accept that fact of gay life is what is surprising.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 10:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael W.
      Michael W.

      Why would he claim bi if he wasn’t? What is there left to hide at this point? He’s exposed his entire life to the world.

      I guess I’m a bit bi myself. Like him, I find myself attracted to women at times and could (and did) sleep with them. I just choose not to. On the other hand, nearly every gay man I know cringes at the sight of a vagina, so obviously I’m different. I do identify myself as gay, however, though it isn’t entirely accurate. But that’s me and he’s got his own lane to worry about.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 10:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Josh AZ
      Josh AZ

      WE would object if what we said about ourselves was questioned.

      He’s a nice kid. Let him live.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 10:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Matt
      Matt

      Who cares? After this season is over no one is even going to remember him and whether he was Bi or Gay. I mean you don’t see any commentary on Danny from the Real World.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 10:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • zenflo
      zenflo

      I thought Mike Manning (who I don’t know from a dry tin of Crisco) did a pretty great job declaring his bisexuality.

      In particular, he nailed down the difference between guys who once found poontang after winning the freshman chug-a-lug contest (gay, if minus 20 minutes), and bi guys, who find men and women sexually attractive in the long term, whether they act on their het side once a week with Margie from Accounting or an annual sweet release that obscures the staples on a Juggs centerfold.

      To me, the worst mangling of the terms occurs when a long-term married man with kids does a “McGreevey” and comes out. The tabloids all scream “Gay blah dee blah…”.

      Yes, he has revealed (even if involuntarily) that he enjoys same-sex relations. But if there was consensual wife hanky-panky with some frequency during the marriage (kids that look like him are a pretty good marker), then he is bisexual.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 11:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      No. 8 · zenflo said…

      Yes, he has revealed (even if involuntarily) that he enjoys same-sex relations. But if there was consensual wife hanky-panky with some frequency during the marriage (kids that look like him are a pretty good marker), then he is bisexual.
      ________________________

      This is where it breaks down. ABLE to have sex with a person doesn’t mean you desire it. Plenty of my friends with kids talk about how they had to think of men to get aroused etc… they are gay. They merely got married because they felt they had to. All those ex Mormon’s coming out weren’t bi, they were afraid of excommunication and bringing shame on their family and would have done anything to avoid it. If I see a guy cheating on his boyfriend with a woman, then sure, he’s bi. A guy leaving a marriage and never again looking at another women….nope.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 11:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Qjersey
      Qjersey

      I call bullshit!

      I know way too many guys who claim the “bi” because “well i fucked my girlfriend in high school.” And this one says he prefers men…but finds women physically attractive. Double bull shit. So do many gay men, just not the ones you hang with at HRC who go running screaming from the room when someone says the word vagina.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 11:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • zenflo
      zenflo

      No. 9 · CAM said…

      A guy leaving a marriage and never again looking at another women…
      ____________________________________

      Yes, I did see him the other day, riding a unicorn.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 11:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DillonS
      DillonS

      @Qjersey: Get over yourself. You can only really speak to your own truth, not his. Just because some of us cushioned the blow of coming out to ourselves using the bi label, later realizing it wasn’t our truth, doesn’t mean everyone does. Why is bisexuality so offensive to so many gays? Get over yourselves already and stop acting like the nuts on the right who claim homosexuality is a choice. Bisexuality is as real as your own sexuality.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 12:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      No. 11 · zenflo
      No. 9 · CAM said…

      A guy leaving a marriage and never again looking at another women…
      ____________________________________

      Yes, I did see him the other day, riding a unicorn.

      __ __ __ __ __ __

      Really? So you are claiming that all of those Mormon and evangelical guys who got married, then later on divorced their wives, moved to big cities, got boyfriends and never again slept with women were really Bi and just decided that although they were attracted to women they were never going to sleep with another one? See, THAT is why oftentimes the Bi’s argument isn’t as accepted, because you try to argue against experiences that large numbers of us have either had or have friends that have had. You can see that snow is green all you want, but if we’ve ever seen snow we aren’t going to believe you.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 12:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • zenflo
      zenflo

      I hear Park City is beautiful this time of year. Plus, unicorns can hide in the fresh-fallen snow. I can’t produce one — you win!

      Feb 19, 2010 at 12:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      “Will Anyone Ever Believe Real World DC’s Mike Manning Is Bi?”

      Mike is not bisexual. This is just part of the process of him coming to terms with his sexuality. A year from now the public will know what his friends already know. He’s gay.

      This is such a common things for gay men to do when they are struggling to come out due to family and social pressures.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 12:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • delurker
      delurker

      I don’t buy male bisexuality, sorry. If that makes me a biphobe, so be it.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 12:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Caleb
      Caleb

      He admitted he is MORE attracted to guys than girls and it is likely he will eventually focus on that. But if he finds women sexually attractive and ever desires to have sex with them, then he is bisexual. Sounds pretty textbook definition of bisexual to me. I also do not understand why people doubt that bisexuality exists. Being bisexual does not mean you like men and women EQUALLY.

      I know I never admitted being bi and have never been attracted sexually to a woman. It doesn’t to me seem like he is just coming out and is confused.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 12:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The Artist
      The Artist

      Isn’t everyone bi? ;-) PEACELUVNBWILD!

      Feb 19, 2010 at 1:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • A Gay Christian Liberal
      A Gay Christian Liberal

      Bi now, Bi Later, good on you Mike, own your queerness and those that tell you otherwise, tell them to piss off

      Feb 19, 2010 at 1:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Millie_G
      Millie_G

      He sounds very comfortable in his sexuality and that’s something I really cherish in a man.
      If he’s bi, just let him be, dammit! Means that he’s also into girls like me, am 100% straight tho :)

      And thank u for making my day brighter with that pic…oh so hot!! Wouldn’t mind joining them hunks :D

      Feb 19, 2010 at 2:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael Walker
      Michael Walker

      Believe it or not, there are those of us gays who don’t give a flying leap.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 2:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • deckman
      deckman

      i don’t know anything about real world or mike manning, but like caleb said, he sounds pretty bisexual and confident in his sexuality to me. maybe i’m just naive, but when somebody makes any statement concerning their own sexuality, i tend to believe them unless i have a real reason not to. if he decides later that he’s gay, fine. if he continues to call himself bi, fine. i know that plenty of gay men start coming out by calling themselves bi, but is it really so difficult to imagine that there are people out there who are actually bisexual, even if they have a preference one way or the other?

      Feb 19, 2010 at 2:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • brandon
      brandon

      OMG really!?!
      Some people are bi fifty-fifty, some are 75% one way or the other but still identify as bi. Hell, I am like a 90% full on gay with 10% being like, yeah I so would have sex with that woman. I identify as gay, but I am not about to say somebody else on the sliding scale of sexuality is off kilter.
      Also being from the land of Mormons and being a former one myself I have to agree with CAM… most of my friends that have married women who later come out a non-heterosexual say they have never felt the same attraction or any at all to their spouse. They felt compelled as it was the “right thing” to do at the time. That would make them gay, they identify as gay and feel gay, not bi. Just cause you have slept with a woman doesn’t make you bi (unless you were aroused mentally physically and emotionally FROM HER and not some fantasy) any more than a straight woman in college who messed around but felt no attraction sexually is bi. Shit happens…

      Feb 19, 2010 at 2:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • El Brucio
      El Brucio

      As other people here have said, the reason it’s hard to believe a celebrity when they say they are bi is because so many gay celebrities have started out by claiming to be bi.

      I think it’s a way of testing the waters. If their career suddenly takes a hit, they can always claim they were confused, drunk, on prescription medication, etc, and then recant their bisexuality. If things go well, they come out as fully gay.

      I’m not saying bisexual celebrities don’t exist, but much like bisexual people in real life, it’s much easier for them to hide it.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 3:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      Get over yourselves, you silly gay cultists. Not everyone is made according to your polarized version of male sexuality. In other words, not everyone is gay or straight in the entirety of their orientation.

      You silly gay cultists have one thing in common with homophobes: you want to put male sexuality into a box.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 5:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lukas P.
      Lukas P.

      JASON hates the gays? @jason: Do you just copy and paste that into every thread about someone who is bi OR do you just not read the other comments before saying it? Are you lumping all prior commentors into one group?

      It’s hard to tell.

      And, calling people “cultists” adds nothing to the conversation but merely polarizes the discussion further.
      Try again.

      Feb 19, 2010 at 5:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TheAwfulTruth
      TheAwfulTruth

      Who is this man and why should we care about him?

      Feb 19, 2010 at 7:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kyle24
      Kyle24

      I have lived in NYC for 18 years and I have been fortunate to meet many great people. I have straight male and female friends. I have gay friends. I have lesbian friends. I even have trans friends. I have dated 2 guys who claimed to be bi, but that was when we were younger and they were newly out. As time played out they came out as gay. My question is if I can’t find truly bi guys in NYC then where in the world are they? Do they not talk about it? If male bisexuality si so prevalent as people on here claim then why are bi men as visible as unicorns? Where are they?

      Feb 21, 2010 at 3:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Herb
      Herb

      Mike Manning does not come across as bi. If true bisexuality in men exists, Mike Manning is not one of them.

      Watching his forced making out with women on the show is awkward and embarrassing — even for his roommates who have commented on his pathetic attempts to convey he is bi.

      Mar 6, 2010 at 12:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rob Moore
      Rob Moore

      @deckman: Neither did I but started watching it when this little kerfuffle first blew up. I think it was two episodes back, he came out to his family. He used the term gay if I remember correctly and says he is in love with Tanner. They have reconciled apparently and Tanner is due to visit soon.

      Mar 6, 2010 at 5:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      Gay people are too beholden to identity politics. They see “gay” as an important label in the recruitment process. They want bisexual men to be thought of as gay because it fills the ranks.

      Mar 6, 2010 at 5:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lukas P.
      Lukas P.

      @jason: Jason: are you speaking of ALL gay people or just some? Are you stereotyping gay men and women while you don’t want to be stereotyped? If so, that’s appalling. And suspect.

      Your unwillingness to speak directly to questions directed at you is very telling. Your use of identical phrases from post to post says that you prefer to be heard than to read and comment accordingly. You paste the same words over and over whether they apply or not.

      People who do that are called “trolls.”

      Mar 6, 2010 at 6:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • drums
      drums

      I identify as bisexual, and I remember actually feeling hurt when watching episodes of the Real World this season whenever people would say (or imply) that they don’t believe Mike is bi, he MUST be gay, etc. I know they’re just strangers on TV, but it’s hurtful to imagine that many people don’t believe my own identity even exists. How could anybody other than Mike know what his sexuality is? He’s the only person who knows 100% what he feels and thinks, so why can’t people stop ascribing things to him? There is NO WAY others can know better than he knows himself. Just like there’s no way all the people who’ve told me “it’s just a phase”/”you’re just experimenting”/”you must be straight/gay” could possibly know better than I know myself. Bisexuality exists, and it’s not hurting anybody. :(

      Apr 4, 2010 at 2:15 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dana
      Dana

      @Cam: so b/c that happens to SOME people, that means bi’s don’t exist?

      Apr 6, 2010 at 8:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Herb
      Herb

      @Dana: Cam never said bi’s don’t exist. On the contrary, Cam said, “Do I believe that bisexuality exists? Sure…” You think you can get away with lying when to fact check this case one only needs to read the post you replied to?

      Cam made some very sound points.

      You are one of the irrational, rabid bi apologists who many have been criticizing. You hurt your own cause.

      Apr 8, 2010 at 4:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joetx
      Joetx

      @ Herb (#29) – ITA. His “attraction” to women seemed forced & is most likely a product of trying to conform.

      Apr 5, 2011 at 3:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Matthew
      Matthew

      I am bisexual 39. I don’t have to prove my identity to no one. But just for the record 20 women, 10 men. Longest LTR woman 5 years. Longest LTR with a man 1 year (and we are still friends and have artistically collaborated). I am now in a relationship with a woman (bi), bofore that gay man, before that straight woman.

      Guess what we are out there. And really it is difficult being harassed by gays and straights. So Mike may be gay who cares if he identifies as bisexual let him, really. I hated having my sexuality up to public debate. It is abusive. And frankly it keeps bisexual men closeted. There is enough stigma to being bisexual, and I have been rejected in both same sex and opposite sex relationships for it.

      So to all gay men and women just think how hard it was to be ridiculed, then think how hard it would be to be ridiculed on all sides, to find it difficult to find other bi people for support, to want gay support and not get it.

      I ended up just hanging out with straight men who don’t care, ironic isn’t. I wish I had more gay friends who didn’t care and supported me, because straight guys don’t exactly get the queer stigma issue.

      Sep 1, 2011 at 6:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Matthew
      Matthew

      @Kyle24:

      Where are the bisexuals? I am in Chicago the art world I talked to a gay peer an arguement about bisexual men and started mentioning names. Then it dawned on me that all the bisexual artists are not out to their gay peers. I am one of the few fools that is.

      Where are they: M is married, T is married, E same sex partnership, M married, D single and probably still switching, J out but in California with his bi wife, all artist all bisexual and gay men have treated us so poorly why would we tell you. I wrote performances and plays on the topic so my art basically outs me anyway – ao I have no luxury of going back in the closet and although difficult I am glad. I also know about 10 other bisexual men not in the art community.

      Sep 1, 2011 at 7:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • gaym50ish
      gaym50ish

      Has everyone completely dismissed the Kinsey scale? At one end is “exclusively heterosexual,” and at the other end is “exclusively homosexual.” Kinsey used a scale of zero (totally heterosexual) to six (totally homosexual). Most of us fall somewhere in between, albeit closer to one end than the other.

      We have gotten into this habit of talking about sexual orientation as if there were only three types — homo, hetero and bi. In reality there are an infinite number of variations. Of course the homophobes think that is proof that we can “choose” which way to go, but our orientation is what it is. Even if a person is at a three (exactly in the “bi” middle of the scale), there is still not a choice about his or her orientation, even if the BEHAVIOR is a choice.

      Dec 19, 2012 at 10:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TrekBear
      TrekBear

      He’s probably a Kinsey Scale 4 or 5.

      Dec 21, 2012 at 3:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • pscheck2
      pscheck2

      A very controversial subject! I think it comes down to: you are what you want to be! If you have an image of yourself as being str8, bi or gay, you will project that image and ‘protect’ it at all cost. In other words, your ego (and a little bit of narcissiam) is the motivation for this ‘projection’ and whether or not it is a legitmate state of being, is besides the point.Futhermore, just because you ‘make’ it with women, doesn’t mean you are gay only occasionally, (as a lark?) but str8 as a fact! Being gay myself, I too ‘made’ it with women, but in all honesty, I prefer men (yaeah, I could get it up when called for–I can get it up just looking at a knothole!) I think what most posters calling down guys who say they are bi is the dishonesty in implying they like to made it with both sexes, equally, so they can say they are basically, str8, only occasionally, gay! IMAGE!

      Dec 24, 2012 at 10:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • litper
      litper

      @pscheck2: hey, based on what you say, you’re a bi

      Jan 5, 2013 at 9:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Aaron
      Aaron

      Very interesting debate – I think what it comes down to is that bisexual men feel that they need to be cautious who they tell. Gay men won’t believe they are really into women, women will think they are gay men who aren’t quite out yet. Then you have the fact that society wants us all to pair off, so you end up paired with one or the other and then everyone ASSUMES even if you haven’t said anything.

      I hear you guys talking about Chicago and NYC like there are no bi men there, but I live in St. Louis, and trust me they are here. Almost all of my OKCupid matches over the last year in this town have been bisexual men who are married to women. Their wives know they date men, they still have sex with their wives, they don’t tell ANYONE else but the people they date and the woman they are married to. So I’m sure most of the people in their lives just assume they are straight – when would it come up in conversation at work? “Oh yeah you know my wife and I are in an open relationship so this week-end I slept over with my boyfriend” Please.

      I have also have friends who are “gay” and but have slept with women when they get really drunk. Does that make any sense if all bi’s are really gay? One guy I dated had an ex-wife and two kids, then “decided” he was gay and started dating guys, only I found out he was still sleeping with his ex-wife, and when he was in Vegas he got drunk and banged a random girl in the hot tub of the hotel. Yet he still called himself gay and exclusively dating guys.

      Jan 5, 2013 at 6:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mangina
      mangina

      I’m a firm believer that sexuality has fluidity. Whether you are male or female, your sexual orientation is determined by you alone and not by what society tells you should be. There are women who identify themselves as lesbians and they are men who identify themselves as gay. Then there are those who attracted to both genders and identify with being bisexual. Taking it further, you also have transgendered individuals who identify their sexuality differently as well. Then you have people who are intersexed and see sexuality from a certain perspective. The point is that there are so many levels on the Kinsey scale so I think everyone has a right to explore their sexuality and not be condemned for being attracted to a certain gender. Let people be who they are. The whole point of the community is to embrace and not ostracize another for their sexual preferences. Bisexuality is something that does exist and we should accept it.

      Jan 11, 2013 at 1:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • D9W
      D9W

      I see Jason from Real world Danny Roberts web site is here blessing us with his Republican self hating ways. Oh well. He’s seems not to learn.

      Anyway, just because a guy goes out into a cow pasture, put’s some straw between his lips and munches on it, then goes mooo, does no make him cow. I do understand there are those who use Bi as a gate way drug to being gay… But I do admit not everyone is like that. Besides what gay does not like picking up a fag hag, along the way? At least I have a few friends who use them to hide behind, like my old ‘friend’ Camron from SPU.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 11:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • enlightenone
      enlightenone

      @Cam: WELL SAID!

      Jan 5, 2014 at 11:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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