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Most guys know the socially approved answer is âgreat personality.â But is that how they show up in life? When we conducted a 4,000 person study on how gay men behave on dating apps we were surprised to learn that 59% admitted to asking other guys about the size of their penis while 83% actually sent dic pics.
Thatâs not exactly a win for the âgreat personalityâ column.
Still, thatâs probably not a fair indication of what gay men prefer given that the apps are engorged with shirtless pics, which heightens sexual not romantic desire. To get at the real answer the question has to make a distinction between dating and sexing. The truth is most of us want it allâa big unit WITH a great personality but since few men have both the question remains: If you had to choose between whatâs in his pants and whatâs in his heart what would your answer be?
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Keep coming back to this page to see how the votes populate.
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Michael Alvearâs book, How To Bottom Like A Porn Star has been on Amazonâs Top 10 Gay Nonfiction Best Seller List for 24 months in a row.
Kurtis Lavender
Or date a guy who isn’t so self absorbed that they all need to be ripped to be dateable?
James Rouse Iñiguez
I’ll take a big personality and great dick instead.
Chris Tyler
Personality
Mic Vachon
Is this seriously even a question? Ă°???
Daniel Alvarado
personality
Yann S. Prud'homme
My husband got both…
He’s perfect !!!
bottom250
A big unit as most guys have great personalities already. Sweethearts I am a size queen.
Dennis Sandoval
Is there an option for obscenely wealthy?
Kirk Montrealer
Then us gays wonder why so many are single. Straight people have it so much easier. They take what they can get. They will scrape the bottom of the rusty barrel. Gays on the other hand..pages and pages and pages and pages of requirements and ‘must haves’.. ‘must not haves’………………………..
Wil Cohen
So glad I don’t have to choose. My husband has both đ
Paul Tidd
I’d rather be single, than have to make such an immature choice.
Alex Reed
Why not both? Personality comes first and is a must.
GlĂŒcklich
How big, or not, is the unit on the guy with the great personality? Not a size queen here, but would like more than a little baby corn cobette.
Cody Petersen
Great personality
Willyam Firth
I take both anyday!
Zekester
Yes, yes I would.
Clai Green
I was lucky to get a guy with both !
Andrew Ingram
Personality
Daniel Johns
I think I lost a few iqs reading this crap.
Warren Vissers
personality, as long as its average +
Anthony Burgos
Definitely a great personality.
Rick Denton
Wesley Sonya
James Brewer
personality
Eric Carr
is it possible to be/have both in one? ;o
Kyle Aldridge Chavez
Better if his big unit had a great personality!
David Russo
Personality, hands down.
John Henry Valdez
Great personality!
David Kennamer
Clark35
Personality.
Jeffery Hibbard
personality is 1st. but big dick also be nice
Jakk Bjarkarson
Personality for me but if also a big dick then game on đ
Xzamilio
It is a bit of a false dichotomy, but if there were only two choices, I’d go with personality… because 1. I’m verse, 2. Big dingalings aren’t all they are cracked up to be, and 3. A shitty personality can ruin any aesthetically pleasing attribute… unless you’re a size queen, then have at it.
Sloppabottamus
Siul Arreis
My partner and I have both
Eric Oswald
Who wants lockjaw? Especially if he has a shallow personality?
Travis Cooper
And now we get to see just how vapid most of the gay community is…I hate these stupid questions.
Danny Adams II
Great personality
Stephen Bate
dick you can work on personality can’t make a small dick big but you can give a dull personality life but i wouldn’t go out of my way just because of genitalia anyway.
Johnathan Stout
Personality. I actually dislike a dick that is too big. What can I do with that thing?
Rex Bain
Both
Dan Durham
Okay đ
Ricky Melendrez
Nick Davis
Mark Dylan Price
I got a big dick and a great personality… Forever single though Ă°??Âą
Dan Rucks
I’d like to see what “big” is before deciding.
Edson Mejia
Big personality.
Martyn Valenzuela
Unit…
Lautaro Emilio Nahir Nazario
Neither one.
Carlos Maggard
Great personality
George Hauersperger
Personality. Quality rather than quantity.
Michael Haynes
Great personality I can work with the other.. Usually guys with Big units are cocky about it.
Cy
Since the question is about dating, I said I’d date the guy with the big package, and marry the guy with the great personality.
Timothy Brown
Of course personality
Tino Dreamerr
Personality
John Coon
I’m gonna say take all the personality comments, fraction out about a third of them. That is your answer, sorry but during my lifetime I have heard from both male and female that a big dick is preferred even over personality, with a few examples of leaving a guy that has a great personality. Today is filled to the rim (no pun intended) with size queens. To each there own, but let me send out an open invite to whomever knows anyone that can do a penis transplant.
sportyguy1983
Anyone who actually answers big dick for DATING is a complete idiot. Now when It comes to a HOOKUP, that is a different scenario.
Carlos Zuniga
Personality, Guys with big “units” (….eye roll….) tend to be sluts and noncommittal.
Russell Mccullough
Personality wins.
Dwight G Grogan
Personality
AJ Lee
How ‘small’ is the guy with the personality? I do have some limits..
Chris Douglas
Both. xD
Tony Stokes
Just because he has a big car doesn’t mean he knows how to drive it. One more vote for “personality”
Jacob Bedolla
Big unit
Arnaldo Fort
Personality
Peter Alexander Garcia
Big dick….duh
Stefano Gant
Both
Ronald Mims Jr.
why can’t i have a guy with a great personality that just so happens to have a big dick. Is that to much to ask for?
Milton Appleby
Really? Immature question.
Robusta Capp
You’re all sluts. Come and sit at my table.
Deondré R Parker
Personality.
William Ray Hilburn Jr
Great personality wins
Andrew James
I’ve got both đ #Italian
jeffsmith60
I’m happy if he has a job and his own car
Johanna Berg
Personality
Tom Gouzoules
Great personality…
Charlie in Charge
The two aren’t mutually exclusive.
Julian Rogers
REALLY? it has to be either or? WHY?
Steven Shelton
When you meet the right one , they will have the complete package whom ever they are , but my personal preference nice ass and great hair and thats the one i picked , and to top it off he has a great personality to
Juan Pablo Hernandez
Anyone who would rather have a man with a large penis is not thinking of a long term relationship – that penis won’t be grand forever but that personality will keep the love alive – I think
Greg Morris
I will take the depressing guy with the small pecker.
Mark Schweitzer
I’m such a size queen….So please let me explore the hung boys for a bit to search for a heavenly personality who’s unaware of his….prowess.
Mark Holbert
Big unit
Paul Markets
Hazel Ahumada
Dale Landefeld
going with the Big member….
Tim Dowling
big dick
Michael Scott
Personality
Stephen Devine
Personality.
Dan Steele
Since I’m a top, I’d prefer the great personality.
William Gilliam
Mike Gipple
100% personality, mature, fun, loyal, worker, and loves family.
Michael Martinez
Personality every single time.
QJ201
“dating” apps, uh huh
jason smeds
The best dates are straight-identifying guys, especially if they are of an immigrant background. Once you get them in the sack, they are like uncontrollable pistons, head flailing, crotch grinding. You could not find a better date scenario.
I find that such men often have poor social skills with women, and thus possess a lot of pent-up sexual frustration. While they may not be inclined towards men, their hormones get the better of them, leading them down the male path.
I remember picking up one such man some years back. He treated me like a rag doll. It was bliss – pure bliss.
James Sigmon
big personality
James Sigmon
https://youtu.be/XjwZAa2EjKA
Xavier Sosa
PERSONALITY indeed. dicks are all assholes anyways đ
Bernardo Rivera III
Personality hands down. A tight bubble butt and smiling eyes
Hunter Sutherby
Hahaha being a top, personality.
Robert Young
Personality
Kyle L. Gorzynski
I date the personality. A big dick might be fun but if you can’t hold a conversation, make me laugh, and make me feel better after a crap day, I cannot date you.
DarkZephyr
@jason smeds: I think you read too much Nifty Erotic Stories Archive fiction.
Raymond E. Cahill
Personality
Ruben Valdez
Both!
Trajan Saldana
*smh Wow
Link Ludington
Yes!
Steven Paul Germane
Same here, I’ve got a big dick and an awesome personality.
Steve Hanson
“Date?” That question is so post marriage equality.
Steve Hanson
“…heightens sexual not romantic desire…” Was this written by a woman?
Bruce Cameron
How many dates?
jason smeds
Personality? Puh-lease!! Personality is for girly guys.
If you really want a good time, you can’t go beyond physicality. I’m not talking about a monstrous penis size, mind you. I’m talking about overall physicality such as head, chest, arms, legs.
Indeed, a monstrous penis size can be a hindrance-bordering-on-deformity. It can look like overgrown salami, especially if it’s on a man with a small frame. You feel like you’re rowing a boat with Pee Wee Herman.
I can’t go past straight-identifying men with poor social skills but great bodies. It’s the best combination.
Bruce Maynard-Holly
I rather have a kind guy with personality.. that excepts me for me… the size only maters if its too smallĂą?ÂĄ
Alan Jones
Y cant i get both
lauraspencer
NEITHER if there isn’t a handsome face FIRST and foremost.
I need a good looking mug and a personality (humorous, smart, kind). I could care less about dick size. I have been with my fair share and there definitely is an average size. I would take average to less than average with a great face and personality.
I could care less about a big dick if they don’t have a face and personality.
Mack
Is there a reason for 90% of these replies to be double posted? It makes for very frustrating reading. Not even sure the site is worth coming to any more.
ted72
Dicks are a dime a dozen. Personality any day!
jwtraveler
Big IQ
Tommy Ogletree
Personality
Mark
Big dick for me, nice CUT white thick one…
Patrick Cremeans
Is this serious?
Eugene Schnitger
I wouldn’t care if he was hung like a gerbal as long as he loved me…
James Faulk
I’ll take personality
Saint Law
@jason smeds: “I can’t go past a straight identifying men with great bodies but poor social skills.”
Yet they go past you – right past you. As would anyone when confronted by a web fingered smurf frantically wanking its tiny penis.
Brandon Walters
Personality hands down!
Blackceo
Oh come on. Personality. For those of us relationship oriented its mostly personality. BesidesâŠI was always like Goldico*cks when it came to size. Not too big, not too smallâŠbut just right!!!
Ricardo Ponce
#Both
North Piñon
Great personality.
charmin88
I don’t know why so many gay men are obsessed with size. I personally could care less what size a man’s dick is. I just would like a guy who is loving, caring, funny as hell, trusty worthy and loyal. Chemistry is the only thing I care about. Even if this post is meant to be humorous/light hearted. I’m still not fascinated with how big some guys stuff is between their legs. I would think you would Not want it to be big so it wouldn’t hurt you think the logic choice would be. But then I am a hopeless romantic.
Jim Fu Raskey
Top so of course prefer personality
jorgecruz
Most of the really big dicks never get fully hard or if they do, their dick doesn’t stay rock hard for long. I would rather have an average dick that gets hard and stays hard. Wait, what was the question?
Ben Ferrando
Uncut is nasty so we know my vote lol
Mark Figenbaum
Personality will win every time, for me. Sex isn’t the only thing that makes up a relationship.
Danny Chang
Cristina Horton
Daxton Norton
This is a ridiculous question. If you want to date you’re obviously more interested in personality. You guys need a better team of writers.
Luis E Paz
Everything play a game……..Depends in people priorities……..
jason smeds
Personality is what I look for in friends, not lovers.
Lovers are for “wham, bam, than you, man” times. They don’t need to have personality.
rikard
there are things that attract my attention and things that sustain my attention in a partner. i fell for my ex because he had such a passion for music and art that i was fascinated, but as his temperament challenged my patience his big dick and sexual fluidity kept things deep and connected for a long time. i have dated others that i didn’t take time to know until there was an obvious physical reason to spend some time together.
Luis E Paz
Slurts are slurts always those with big units or into a big units.
Luis E Paz
Oh course everybody or almost everybody will say “Great personality”
Vaun Lineberg
I have friends with lots of personality, I’d take the big dick, maybe that will keep me from getting bored with him.
Brandon Lee Elrod
I’d rather date someone with a great personality. It’s a huge bonus if he happened to have a big dick.
Deon Letsoalo
This is so shallow, a snake could slither in it and still not get its back wet. Funny and multilingual are a lethal combination. I think intelligence is fucking sexy!
Mark Pointon
Personality for sure…
David Waylen
Personality definitely
Russell Payne
I’m gonna go for personality
BigG
Big unit. Ill Send them to therapy to work on their personality lol. i need at least 6.5 cut or bigger. Size matters and anyone telling you different is lying and small.
Blazipitous
8 inches cut
Lovelife
Personality wins as you get older. But when young and looking for a sex object.The experience of a big penis is what does the trick!!!
Stephen Divoky
I’d prefer to date a guy who’s great personality IS his “unit”
jason smeds
A penis has to have shape and not just size. You want it to be sculpted. I’ve seen a few big ones that look like masses of salami and they are an immediate turn-off.
The butt also has to go with the penis. There’s nothing worse than a man with a nice sculpted penis but a skinny, withered behind.
Tony Millan
This culture is just so….
#hegemony
junk4sts
Okay, think about it, in the gay community “Dating App” means “Hookup app” and when gay men “hook up” they don’t really care about the personality of the person they are hooking up with, in most cases a hook up is a one or two time thing, it doesn’t really matter of the guys we hook up with have a great personality so long has they have a great ass or nice dick and know how to use it.
If most self respecting intelligent gay men give it any thought, when they consider “dating” someone then that person personality HAS to matter, because you’re going to be dealing with it all of the time. So If you’re really talking about dating and not simply hooking up, most guys are going to say personality is more important.
A good friend of mine, in a moment of extreme clarity, said, “hotness wears off after a while even if the guy is still hot” What he was saying is that if you do happen to land that “really hot” guy and you start dating for a while, he becomes just a guy, he poop’s pee’s farts, has bad breath in the morning, all the exact same things the “not hot guy” does so if he is a poor match for you and grates on your nerves because he is mean, or arrogant, or rude, or bitchy, then after a while you’re no longer going to care about the physical attributes, because you will just want to be away from him no matter what.
Only a true sex pig would stay with a guy with a miserable personality just because he has a big dick.
Nick Al
Great personality
Nick Lamphier
Big personality
Andre Boykin
Great personality
JScott Weber
personality is everything!!!!!! if he cheats with that big dick he is useless and distructive
James Redding
Personality over anything!
Realitycheck
Personality is the glue of any relationship, this is a no choice,
no matter how big, or handsome or even rich the guy is, in time
it all means nothing, but a good personality never goes away…………
Patrick C Arnone
Personality. Sex doesn’t last long.
Kevin Booker
My man has both
Gaspar Marino
Personality
Edu012
Don’t actually care about size. Personality.
Roman Melendez
Personality wins. Big unit is only subjective.
DonovanS28
Oh come on, of course everyones gonna say personality in this setting. But put them in a bar and have an unattractive guy with a great personality trying to to talk to them and an attractive guy who’s dick you can see through his clothes ignoring them. They all going for the guy with the big dick. People just don’t like to be seen as shallow
Bauhaus
As an ass man, I’m gonna sit this one out.
notevenwrong
It’s what he does with that dick that matters. A little swagger goes a long way even if he dick is medium.
Alex Teoh
Big Unit
Dennis Johnson
Date – take the personality. One night stand the Big Dick. My fiancĂ© is lucky – he’s got me and I have both.
Daniel MacFadden
Personality first :p
Robert Rupp
Two different questions. Is this a on line hook up, big dick…..dating…personality
Marc Stauffer
I’m a Sapiosexual – Brains over beauty any day.
Mark Holbert
Big unit please big unit…
Tony Lee Churchill
Yes.
Jax Blaze
Always Bernardo đ
Ridpathos
Considering that I find small units far more arousing than big one I don’t think I can fairly answer this question.
TheBigOne
Meh, I’m currently seeing somebody with zero personality and 9″ but I’m not complaining LOL.
I don’t come across too many 68 year olds carrying that big of a stick đ
ethan_hines
Wouldn’t what you want depend on which role you prefer top v bottom? As a bottom I don’t want a guy with a huge dick I’d rather have personality and a top probably doesn’t give two nickels how big his man is because he’s more into the guy’s but. So I guess it’s a win win for personality.
Random
The appeal of a large dick – or any ‘desirable’ physical feature – wears off pretty fast if the person doesn’t have a great personality. So, I’d always choose great personality over a large dick.
Tackle
What’s up with all the double post along with all the new people? Queerty you need to fix your system. But since I’m not a size queen, that’s an easy choice.
Edwards Cedric
Great personality, Im no size queen
Bob Charbonneau
Before I answer: How small is the guy with the great personality?
Arcamenel
Going off my own definition of big which is 8″+ then definitely personality.
Christopher Curley
Ă°?Â?
Maude
I don’t agree with the premiss.’one or the other’.
I would prefer one guy with a big penis
and another guy with a great personality
but one guy with both would do in a pinch.
Kevin J Desmond
I’ve been with both types before, my first lover had looks a great body and and a much better personality, his dick wasn’t very big though ( yes I miss him everyday he died ) My second lover had a huge dick and a really nice body but was a total arrogant asshole and that’s why I left him. My 3rd lover had a little personality and an ok dick. So from my point of view I would take a guy with a great personality anyday.
Jaguar Ferrari Herrera
Date? People still date?
John Gregory-Bratton
All depends if I saw a future with them personality. But just a bit of harmless flirting and the odd date I’d pick the big dick
barkomatic
I’d prefer the guy to have at least an average size–after that it’s personality. If I met a really great guy with a tiny one though I think I could make it work.
Jeffrey York
Why is it either/or?
Ricky Mattingly
great personality
Lance Anthony Whiteford
I love guys with a small package , I find it very very sexy
Gene Hoopengardner
I want one with both!
Kangol
Preferably both! A hung honeybear is the best!
Edd Armstrong
A BIG “UNIT”– Although both look good here, I’ll take a friggin’ BIG DICK!!
Billy Budd
I want both, Is it possible?
Billy Budd
@barkomatic: I agree with you. I want an average size plus great personality. A micro penis is an impossibility.
Queertyreader2
Funny how the obvious follow up question is never asked. Now how many of those well-endowed men, did you end up having a relationship with? How many of those well-endowed men did you have a lot in common with? How many of those well endowed men were great guys? Just asking the obvious…
Kirk Guadalupe
Personality because he will be a bottom.
Joe Corchado
Husband got both, so I’m good thanks.
Gareth William Evans
…..With an accommodating arse.
Edgar Sancen
Is that really a question? Personality.
El Suldrun
Personality, wins, every time…
Hector L. Torres Anicama
Big dick
William A Boskofsky
Personally
Jason Lanick
Aaaaaaaaaahhh.the age old question.style or substance?? Humnnm.
Severn Kirchem
Personality!! A dick with a “life support ” gets old fast!!
Ras Angel Sealey
Personality
Aaron Brown
Personality
Rafael Albarran
I don’t care about the dick, but if he has a great personality and a bubble butt I would be happy :)))
Seiji Yamashita
Who wants small dicks anyways. The Answer is obvious
Donnie Bailey
Personality
Mathew Schmoeckel
Personality, equals big package!
Daniel Rodriguez
Eric K. Hoffmann
Great personality. avg dick.
Donald Jecker
You can find big ones everywhere. Great personalities are harder to find, and that’s the one you can live with.
Rich Young
Great personality!
Michael Shepard
Personality!
Billy Budd
I want an average sized dick. It must be able to stimulate my prostate. But apart from that, personality is what counts.
Dom Kenneth McCune Osba
Personality, of course!
Jo Aloicious Saleputain
Personality and intelligence
Robert Lewis
C all the above
Larry Abramsky
TOTAL TITS N ASS DADDYTOP HERE, SO GIVE ME THE GREAT PERSONALITY ANY TIME !!!
Kevin Bateman
Kevin R. Machen
Is it asking too much to have both?
Billy Sims
defo personality but boths a bonus
stuartaidanlover
Personality. If lucky both like Colby Keller. See his new videos on colbydoesamerica.com Free! (recommended by a fan)
tllthn89
Definitely personality. Looks r important too tho đ
Rod Rodriguez
big sick
tllthn89
Pictures of the member aren’t a bad thing Ina persons personality either. Doesn’t surprise me 83%. I get many as well. Pretty much 100% when I start talking seriously to a guy online. I send them back. Always met nice guys. Very nice. Lol
Stache99
https://youtu.be/l5obLmJ4O9E
ScottOnEarth
It’s not as simple as one or the other but it’s an interesting question. So many elements make a good relationship. Too bad most gay men are terrible at real relationships.
Lvng1Tor
@Siul Arreis: prove it! đ
electrongreen
People with a brain and an interest in a person will opt for personality, those at the lower end of the scale will take the other
jason smeds
Personality schmersonality. I don’t want a personality in my lover. I want my lover to be well-mannered, fine, but I don’t want him to be someone with whom I am matched like a jigsaw piece. It would make for a very boring life together.
You want lovers to have an edge. Fiery, passionate, someone who will sweep you off your feet…and then turn his back on you for the rest of the night. A big lug is what I want.
If I look for personality, it’s in my friends, not my lovers. If that grates, so be it.
o.codone
as everyone already knows, a big one is not as usable as a smaller one. when it’s inside of me it’s like i’m having a baby, and i cannot get it in my mouth any farther than the head. but the problem is, my friend is also a schlub, no personality whatsoever. anyone wanna trade?
windgrain
Lol this is a debacle. I dated a man for 3 years who had a reasonably high iq, a damn good body, and a 10 incher. There was only one problem at first, and that was he’s a near complete top, but I’m a vers. The second part was the fact that he began to drink a lot, and got mad insecure. We ended up splitting, but we still love each other in our own oddball ways