Q'BACK SACK

You Decide: Super Bowl Sideline Commentary Or Gay-Porn Dialogue?

Queerty reader Cassie Peterson shared with us some of the innuendo-laden commentary she copied verbatim from the NBC Sports telecast of last week’s Super Bowl XLVI. We thought the homoerotic-sounding stuff was limited to game terminology—tight ends, sack masters, wide receivers and the like—but as Cassie illustrates, either the color commentators were barely repressing their man-on-man urges or we just need to get laid more often (probably both).

* “He dumped it to his tight end…”

* “He’s got Woodhead in man-to-man coverage.”

* “They took a shot at him and all of a sudden they get a face full of that…”

* “He got buried on that one with the double team.”

Why the gayest-sounding sport is the one where the players wear the most clothes, we’ll never know. With its baggy drawers and talk of dribbling and passing, basketball just doesn’t turn our crank. We guess we’ll just hold out for spring and all that talk of pitching and catching.

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