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TRUE STORY

WATCH: Your Starbucks Barista Hates You And Your Skinny Mocha Latte

We know how many of you fussycats out there are addicted to Starbucks. You need your double ristretto venti nonfat organic chocolate-brownie Frappuccino extra hot with foam and whipped cream upside-down double-blended.

But just so you know Christopher Cristwell, a nearly naked Starbucks barista with a sweet butt, hates when you order that.

Cristwell got fired mid-shift on Tuesday for producing this truly excellent viral video, which complains about Latinos who order fancy caramel Frappuccinos, overweight customers who add too much sugar syrup to their drinks, and parents with noisy kids. But now Starbucks finds themselves in the awkward position of being unable to ignore the video’s popularity (especially among customers and employees).

How much you wanna bet the coffee company hires Cristwell to do a tongue-in-cheek advertisement?

As long as he does it in his boxer briefs, pour us another cup.

Video via chrissizle

By:           Daniel Villarreal
On:           Sep 22, 2011
Tagged: , , , , ,
  • 37 Comments
    • Jeff in NYC
      Jeff in NYC

      I certainly hope none of his prospective employers google his name, especially when he tries for another job in the service industry.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 10:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daniel Villarreal
      Daniel Villarreal

      @Jeff in NYC: He’s currently training to become an EMT. Eff the service industry. That’s why I work from home. That and my dislike of “people” and “things.”

      Sep 22, 2011 at 10:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • EdWoody
      EdWoody

      @Jeff in NYC: Yeah. As much as we may all empathize with the need to rant from time to time, it almost always gets you in trouble. It’s better to just keep this stuff between friends over a beer.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 11:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Little Kiwi
      Little Kiwi

      it wasn’t a smart thing to do. shame, because it’s actually kinda funny. anyone who’s ever worked in the service industry likely just gave a few head nods and grins.

      “european tourists arriving at brunch with a stroller – automatic gratuity”, anyone?

      ;-)

      Sep 22, 2011 at 11:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Andy
      Andy

      He’s cute and I sympathize with him and anyone who has to deal with the public, but pleasing customers *is* sorta his job, y’know. This is what happens when “sense of entitlements” butt up against one another…the customers’ vs his.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 11:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      @Little Kiwi:

      LOL

      Sep 22, 2011 at 11:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MiKem
      MiKem

      I think everyone should be required to work a retail job one week out of the year. I believe we’d treat others a whole lot better after experiencing the abuse customers dump on retail workers. Yes, it’s a service industry, but most customers act as if they were born to privledge and aristocacy.

      Lets remember people, we all deserve respect.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 11:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tartuffe
      Tartuffe

      @Andy:

      His job is to provide competent service and quality products while maintaining a respectful demeanor. Having worked (very successfully) as a barista during my undergraduate studies, I can tell you that “pleasing” people who are overtly rude, condescending, and idiotic, is NOT part of our job. Just because I’m wearing an apron doesn’t make me a servant to your ridiculous sense of entitlement.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 12:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777
      fredo777

      Complains about Latinos ordering Fraps…? That sounds pretty stupid.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 12:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MikeE
      MikeE

      as long as he doesn’t try to find work in music… gawd he sucks.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 12:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ernst
      Ernst

      Another whiner complaining about how he has to — gasp — do the job he gets paid to do. Good thing he got his ass fired.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 12:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @Ernst:

      Agreed.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 1:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Gigi
      Gigi

      @Daniel Villarreal: Would you be so understanding if he’d complained about FAGGOTS? You had no problem with his Latino rant. Just curious.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 1:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • booth
      booth

      My God, mosty of your comments suck. Are you all brainwashed to be drones? Jeff in NYC, R you like some 80 year old man who likes to point out the obvious? I SAY: GOOD FOR HIM! He is smart, easy on the eyes, talented, and has a quick wit. This will probably be the springboard for his singing/songwriting career. Dare to fucking dream people. Oh, Starbucks…..get over yourself.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 1:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daniel Villarreal
      Daniel Villarreal

      He did not “rant” against the Latino race, he complained about “Latinos who order fancy caramel Frappuccinos,” which is a much smaller and more specific subset of the race. Plus, the word “Latino” is much more politically correct and civil than “FAGGOTS.” So yeah, if he had said faggots, I would have still posted his hilarious video and then examined why he used that word. But in this case, I’m assuming he used Latinos because it was the easiest word to rhyme with “Frappuccinos.”

      Oh and @booth: +1

      Sep 22, 2011 at 2:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777
      fredo777

      Sorry, the kid needs to Google a good rhyming dictionary or find another frothy drink to rhyme something with.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 2:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SteveC
      SteveC

      He’s funny.

      I’ve been a barista. Many customers are festering ass boils.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 5:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • newcityspot
      newcityspot

      Nah, he won’t get rehired and in fact, his rant made him sound racist so he’ll be a liability anywhere. Idiot.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 5:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ernst
      Ernst

      @Gigi: It seems you’re saying Daniel would be offended by an anti-gay slur presumably because he’s gay. But, by that logic, wouldn’t Daniel ***Villarreal*** have as much a stake in opposing anti-Latino rhetoric as in opposing anti-gay rhetoric?

      Sep 22, 2011 at 6:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Eminent Victorian
      Eminent Victorian

      I love this video, and I do so wish companies had better senses of humor. Here in Seattle, we know Charbucks has zero sense of humor (although they pay much more than min wage). Heck, I’d hire this kid *because* of this video.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 9:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kamikapse
      Kamikapse

      @Daniel Villarreal:

      His hilarious video? You must have pretty low standards…

      Sep 22, 2011 at 9:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PilateError
      PilateError

      Haha As a former barista, as an undergraduate, I get the snide humor, but I also get the comments. I worked late one night and forgot I wrote a whole list of annoying things customers do to piss us off. The next day, I came in and couldn’t find it; it turns out my boss added it to our “Notebook of ‘Things to Do’ and several people added to the list. My boss was laughing and I was grateful I didn’t get fired!

      Sep 22, 2011 at 9:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jeff4justice
      jeff4justice

      Hopefully he’s replaced with someone who is happy to serve people and has a thick enough skin to tactfully deal with difficult customers. Too many people looking for work so if your job sucks quit and let one of the millions of unemployed people step up and do it.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 12:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeff in NYC
      Jeff in NYC

      @booth: Nope, I’m a 20 Something artist who has worked in the service industry before. But to point out the obvious: You seem to be a shallow, vapid cunt who clearly eds to see some real talent. I doubt you will find it in the “writings” of Daniel Villareal.
      @Daniel Villarreal: I can tell you dislike people and things based on what you post. And you think this guy is hilarious? Goes to show that the stereotype of gays and good taste isn’t always true.

      To the rest of you, goodbye and good luck.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 1:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CBRad
      CBRad

      @Jeff in NYC: You shouldn’t jump too hard on Daniel Villarreal. He might not be perfect, and you might not agree with him on what’s funny, and I might not agree with a lot of what he writes, but at least he has the integrity to actually respond to posters’ criticisms from time to time. Which I’ve never seen anybody on Queerty or the other “big” gay blogs do.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 2:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Xanderer
      Xanderer

      So. As someone who has worked in the “service industry” for over a decade, and has worked in a coffee shop. I think this is hilarious. Some of you are saying :”oh it’s his job to put up with assholes” Well that’s bullshit. He’s a human being trying to make his way in the world, and when someone comes up to him at his place of employment and has a “complaint” that is a very real, and very stressful thing. He could be fired for that “complaint”. When that “complaint” is that their double soy extra shot vanilla late macchiato with extra foam, oh wait no, hold the foam I’m on a diet, is only a 102 degrees when they specifically asked for a 106 degrees? Well, pardon my french, but they can go fuck themselves.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 5:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SteveC
      SteveC [Different person #1 using similar name]

      People who are complaining about his behaviour, I suspect are the type of customer that this kid is dissing.

      Seriously some of these customers think their cup of coffee is actually important in the grand scheme of thing.

      It is not important. They are not important.

      But they think they are important if they can treat their barista like a piece of shit.

      It doesn’t make them important. It makes them an asshole who deserves to have their coffee spit in.

      Be nice to your server. They may be smiling but they can spit in your drink very discreetly.

      As I have done when I worked at Starbucks

      Sep 23, 2011 at 9:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jimmy Fury
      Jimmy Fury

      Oh so just using the word latino is racism now?

      I thought it was hilarious. Especially the Cappuccino part.

      Although I would argue that the people who think 7-11 “Cappuccinos” are the standard and spit their coffee out on the floor when you give them a real one… a million times worse.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 10:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Little Kiwi
      Little Kiwi

      I thought it was funny, not racist. Just as I think it’s funny when my Japanese friends who worked in a sushi restaurant at one time jokingly remember the legions of “lame white people who think they’re “oh-so-exotic” by going out “for sushi” and then ordering teriyaki chicken and california rolls.
      ;-)

      Sep 23, 2011 at 11:12 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777
      fredo777

      @Jimmy Fury: I don’t think anyone said using the word Latinos was racism, but complaining about Latinos ordering frappuccinos is questionable. The point being, what difference does it make what ethnicity they are if your gripe is about their being difficult as customers? That’s my only gripe, though it’s a small one. I don’t take ethnic jokes super-seriously, usually. After all, one of my favorite shows was Reno 911 + it traded in stereotypes from beginning to end. I guess I just didn’t see the point in his using that word choice b/c I don’t think it really added anything to it.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 12:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CBRad
      CBRad

      @Little Kiwi: That IS funny.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 1:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CBRad
      CBRad

      @fredo777: It would have been more accurate if he complained about how much sugar Puerto Ricans always want in their coffee. Which I’ve noticed. And IS rather cute/funny.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 2:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CBRad
      CBRad

      @SteveC: I agree with you, but it goes both ways, buddy. Coffee servers and bartenders really are getting paid to be the servants, in a sense, but there’s no excuse to be mean to the servants (or, yes, the spit).

      Sep 23, 2011 at 2:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Little Kiwi
      Little Kiwi

      i’ve bartended in restaurants. there’s something all servers know “Europeans tourists or people with strollers = AUTOMATIC GRATUITY”

      we’re not racist against europeans or straight people with babies. we’ve just been around enough to know that they don’t tip for shit.

      ;-)

      Sep 23, 2011 at 2:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • elle queue
      elle queue

      this guy’s not funny or original or creative or interesting, he’s just a bitter douchebag. ugh.

      Sep 24, 2011 at 4:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Riker
      Riker

      I’ve worked in the service industry (deli, to be more precise) and he absolutely has a reason to vent. My job was to slice meat and cheese, not to bend over backwards to kiss the customer’s ass.

      I remember one time, this vile old lady literally threw her bologna at my head (great arm for someone so ancient!) because it wasn’t thin enough, demanding that I re-slice it for her. Meanwhile, it was so thin that it wasn’t even slices so much as shredded half-slices.

      Another time, two customers got into a shoving match over who was first in line, then they threatened to come back and throttle me when I called security to have them thrown out.

      When I gave day-old bread to a homeless man for free, I was very nearly fired even though we couldn’t actually sell the bread to anyone else.

      I’ve had people steal from me, insult me, curse at me, and hit me in the face with meat (not as titillating as it sounds) for no reason at all, so I have no sympathy for the poor customers and their sense of entitlement. Good luck to the kid, I hope he finds a job somewhere where he doesn’t have to put up with nasty customers. I did, and i’m so much happier.

      Sep 25, 2011 at 5:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alan Brickman
      Alan Brickman

      Nice butt and He’s cute!!! The “assholists” are so whiny these days…

      Oct 12, 2011 at 8:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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