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10 Things GLAAD Taught Us About The Gays Last Night

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The Gays. We’re everywhere. Everyone is talking about us. That means we’re important! So important, in fact, that GLAAD threw its annual Manhattan party in our honor. They corralled celebrities to show up. Most of them were straight. (Well, Scott Evans was there.) They love us, they really do. Because we’re fabulous, they believe. We are so fun and so outrageous and so good at decorating!

Last night, Queerty sent Ben Harvey to hang out with some of our favorite adoring public figures on the rooftop of 230 Fifth, and we talked about, well…us.

What’d we learn?

(Photo: Homo-Neurotic)

scottevans

LESSON LEARNED
We are mama’s boys.

THE SCRIPTURE
“My mother in real life is actually playing my mother on the show. She’s on the show as this very conservative woman, but in real life my mom is this crazy woman, awesome [and] liberal.”

THE PROPHET
Scott Evans, who plays Oliver Fish, one-third of the gay love triangle from One Life to Live, the latest soap opera to hop on the gay storyline bandwagon. And he just happens to be Chris Evans’ openly gay younger bro. Who’s hot. Who talked to us. Swoon.

(Photo: Homo-Neurotic)

jackmackenroth

LESSON LEARNED
We’re jealous, cowardly, and bitchy.

THE SCRIPTURE
“It’s really easy to sit behind a computer and be anonymous and write bitchy stuff about someone. I think part of it stems from jealousy…There’s just a small percentage of a very vocal population that likes to sit and just bitch.”

THE PROPHET
Jack Mackenroth, former Project Runway contestant and 2009 Outgames stud, discussing anonymous commenters on gay blogs. (Scroll down for user-generated examples.)

(Photo: Homo-Neurotic)

bradboles

LESSON LEARNED
The gays are at the disposal of fabulous women.

THE SCRIPTURE
“Any truly fabulous woman has at least two or three of them. I just happen to be number one in Jill’s life.”

THE PROPHET
Brad Boles, Jill Zarin’s “gay husband” on The Real Housewives of New York City (and her lackey at Zarin Fabrics). He’s the Will to her Grace. Er, she’s the Grace to his Will. Or whatever the saying is.

(Photo: Homo-Neurotic)

lisalampanelli

LESSON LEARNED
Kathy Griffin ain’t the only one vying to be our Queen.

THE SCRIPTURE
“I gotta stay in good with the gays, cause if she [Kathy Griffin] dies – God forbid – then I take over… Cause she’s queen of the fags right now; I gotta be second place.”

THE PROPHET
Raunchy comedian Lisa Lampanelli, revealing her plans for “fag” domination. We also overheard her roaring: “The AIDS, you know, hilarious! Up there with Schindler’s List and the Holocaust!”

(Photo: Homo-Neurotic)

milena

LESSON LEARNED
We make pretty girls feel good about themselves… most of the time.

THE SCRIPTURE
“I love me some gay men, I’ll tell you. First of all, they never shy away from telling you how pretty you look… And believe me they’ll also tell ya if you’re not looking so good.”

THE PROPHET
Rescue Me‘s Milena Govich, after which we told her she was really pretty. Because she really is.

(Photo: Homo-Neurotic)

jillzarin

LESSON LEARNED
We were put on this earth to decorate.

THE SCRIPTURE
“In a Jewish family, you have to have a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant… and, like, you need a gay decorator. You do, you need, like, the gay fabulousness of the family to round it out.”

THE PROPHET
The Real Housewives of New York City‘s Jill Zarin, who tells us she wishes she had a gay son. But Jill, what about those gays who were born without decorator DNA? “Oh, you should date one! You’ve got options!”

(Photo: Homo-Neurotic)

frankdecaroandjimcolucci

LESSON LEARNED
We don’t always need to be the belle of the ball.

THE SCRIPTURE
“Andy Warhol used to always say that the best party was where you were the least attractive, least famous, least successful person there. So you hope that you’ll be the schmuck and everyone else will be the big stars.”

THE PROPHET
Frank DeCaro, of The Frank DeCaro Show on Sirius/XM

(Photo: Homo-Neurotic)

kimstolz

LESSON LEARNED
We scare off the lesbians.

THE SCRIPTURE
“Whenever I go to a gay event, it’s all men…what is that? …Where are the fucking women? I find that the best events seem to have the men, so I don’t think that’s very fair. I want to get dressed up for some women sometime, you know?”

THE PROPHET
MTV News correspondent and former America’s Next Top Model lez Kim Stolz. She had a valid point, so we just shrugged.

(Photo: Homo-Neurotic)

ronniekroell

LESSON LEARNED
Some of us are do-gooders.

THE SCRIPTURE
“I enjoy doing the charity work, especially here promoting GLAAD’s efforts in the community. They’re making a real difference by changing people’s hearts and minds and making sure that we’re being represented in the way we deserve to be represented.”

THE PROPHET
Model, singer, and activist Ronnie Kroell, runner up from the first season of Bravo’s Make Me a Supermodel and one half of the gay/straight bromance “Bronnie”

(Photo: Homo-Neurotic)

countessluanndelesseps

LESSON LEARNED
We show respect to royalty.

THE SCRIPTURE
“I get a lot of hugs from my gay boys… They adore me, so I love that part of it.” –

THE PROPHET
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps from The Real Housewives of New York City, newly single and ready to mingle. With heterosexuals, too.

(Photo: Homo-Neurotic)

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