DO THIS, NOT THAT

10 Things Required Of All Andrew Christian Models

You’ve fallen in love with every Andrew Christian model under the sun, and even though you can’t always understand what they’re trying to do, it doesn’t change the fact that they’re the most perfect and well-maintained crop of dudes you’ve ever seen.

But what exactly makes an Andrew Christian model better than the rest? How does one join the ranks of men whose qualities are so flawless, they can literally pay the bills by crawling on the ground in their underwear?

Lucky for you, we’ve been handed the OFFICIAL rules and regulations that all Andrew Christian models are expected to abide by whenever they’re on the clock. Whether they’re handing out postcards at your local bar or eating a hot dog by the pool, much is expected of these fine gentlemen, and for the first time ever, you can read Andrew Christian’s official Rules & Regulations for models in full.

Here are the 10 most important rules & regulations required of your men:

1. “Remember you are representing a brand.  You are not allowed to appear overly intoxicated or on drugs at any time on this trip.”

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Great point, AC. Nothing ruins a hot guy in his underwear more than said hot guy spilling everyone’s drinks, falling down, and acting like a complete asshole. If you absolutely insist on bringing your drugs, do them on the Swiss Navy Lube float.

2. “You must be 15 minutes early to every scheduled event on this itinerary.”

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You’re not going to be paid for that extra 15 minutes, but you get to wear (and keep!) a new pair of underwear every 15 minutes for the next four hours. You’ll live. “Fashionably late” doesn’t look good on your Andrew Christian undies.

3. “Remember millions of people will be seeing these videos and photos, so you need to sleep and look your best.”

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A MUST. Not only will millions of people be seeing these videos and photos, they’ll be using them as a tool to lust after you for decades to come. You don’t want them to see your sleepy eyes in the new Facebook profile photo you’re going to crop from this video, do you?

4. “You must be in good spirits. This means no emotional melt downs and no physical or verbal outbursts.”

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Because nothing is worse than a super hot underwear model having an “emotional melt down” at a bar.

5. “No traveling with steroids or illegal substances.  If you get caught with these, that will be a nightmare and embarrassment for everyone involved.”

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You’re traveling in style with free booze, hot boys, and a stripper pole. Call us crazy, but that sounds like a party that doesn’t even need drugs.

6. “You must be nice to the guests at the events.  You are the ambassadors of AC . We will only book models for future club events that are polite well mannered ambassadors of AC.”

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A half-naked model promoting a gay-owned brand at a gay bar, BEING RUDE? The thought just terrifies us. Make sure to welcome your guests at the door by ripping off their underwear.

When booked for a public appearance, all models must bring the following items:

7. “Makeup to cover any blemishes (please come tan)”

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Ewww! A pale underwear model with blemishes? Good call on this one, AC.

8. “Flip flops, electric razors, hair product”

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Basically a traveling necessity for all gay men. You should have these at all times so you can remain looking flawless throughout the event.

9. “Cock ring”

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What, you thought that specially designed waistband was moving product? As if.

10. “Baby oil, coconut oil, tanning oil, BEACH TOWELS.”

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Do not EVER forget beach towels. You’re going to be wet for the rest of the day.

Now go make some money!

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41 Comments

  • Nick

    All class.

  • middleagespread

    This has to be a fantastic job. Not only are you physically perfect, but the guys u work with are just as hot. Sign me up in my next life!!!

  • Dixie Rect

    I hear Abercrombie and Fitch have the same rules.

  • rand503

    Good rules for us all to live by.

  • Greg Garavani

    I’ll take hotties from numbers 2 and 10 please.

  • tardis

    This is so gay.

    Anyways, I like number 3.

  • robho3

    all their stuff is hoooot!!!!

  • boring

    Aaaaand this is why the gay community can’t have nice things.

  • yaletownman

    Really can’t agree that they are the best. If they were, they wouldn’t be doing ad campaigns for Andrew Christian. Obviously Queerty has a rather limited knowledge of the fashion world. Give you a hint, the centre is not West Hollywood and it doesn’t recruit from strippers, porn actors and prostitutes.

  • Derek Williams

    Such ads do wonders for the image of gay men.

  • sirald66

    Actually, the A&F rules are much more restrictive and demeaning.

  • LeNair Xavier

    It’s quite obvious based on his featured model choices that another official rule of Andrew Chirstian’s (like too many underwear companies) is to be White or light-complexioned. Be anything else but, and you become a split-second featured TOKEN.

    And no one can tell me I’m wrong. For his videos are all the proof you need.

    http://www.tresx-rayvision.com/2012/12/black-guys-wear-underwear-too.html

  • J.c.

    @Derek Williams: It is inspiring people to do their best to look good and be healthy. We all know that most of us would never look as good in their clothing line but like companies like A&F and Victoria Secret , they give us an ideal to aim for. Doesn’t matter if we actually reach that ideal. Its fun to admire the beauty of the models and enjoy the quality and design of the product line. (Andrew Christian under wear are very good quality and very innovative.)

  • sportsguy1983

    They forgot to mention that no brains or class is required to be an Andrew Christian model.

  • J.c.

    I love Andrew Christians marketing. Not only are the models attractive and perfectly chosen for the product line but they always look like they are having fun and have the best smiles in the industry. Very different from the way most male models are posed which is to either have a snickering pout or and aggressive glaring stare at the camera.

  • DarkZephyr

    @LeNair Xavier: No matter what you say, I still like Andrew Christian models. You won’t ruin this for me.

  • DarkZephyr

    @LeNair Xavier: But P.S. that being said, I wish Andrew would hire you! Have you attempted to work for him in the past?

  • underboy12

    Rule 1. Be White.

  • royster

    i know one of them personally from BEFORE he hit it big with the global brand (he was a pretty successful model in my regional market). He has always been very nice, and very intelligent. Assuming someone who is physically attractive is a) stupid or b) slutty just because they might choose to be playfully erotic during an ad campaign for men’s underwear aimed at a gay market speaks to YOUR gullibility and insecurity/jealousy, not theirs. And i second the opinion about how the inherent joy in life of the campaigns and videos is a nice change of pace from the typical angst of “isn’t it horrible and challenging how much people like to look at me as i sell things via my beauty” of most approaches. Do i wish the casting were more inclusive? definitely. Does that make me discount the rest of the choices completely? hardly.

  • Camsean01

    Aren’t they the same criteria for the Nobel Peace Prize winner?

  • Dxley

    What’s the point of putting on an underwear if it doesn’t cover your butt? I swear these ones are made for gay bottom boys who would have a one night stand at a bar, standing up and simply leaning against the wall!

  • DarkZephyr

    @Dxley: You don’t have to be a complete top to enjoy looking at a fine butt.

  • DarkZephyr

    @underboy12: My favorite Andrew Christian model is not white. Jason Medina is beauty incarnate. (Although if LeNair Xavier joined Andrew Christian he might give Jason a run for his money in my estimation based on hotness factor alone).

  • FitChicago

    The list of things required to be an AC model omitted the common trait between all of them — All Andrew Christian models previous experience must include appearing in porn OR tricking as an escort… allegedly.

  • Leonardo

    I wonder they left out, be White?
    Oh,right…..that’s a given!

  • stanhope

    oh swish, you forgot they MUST have white skin or white inclined Hispanic. That is rule 1 sistah.

  • deacon

    What stanhope said….I agree with him 1000%…it’s like underwear brands think black of brown skin latino brothers don’t wear underwear

  • deacon

    After reading a few post from your blog you’re the last guy that should be trying to call someone out…your self hatred of being black is evident in your opinion of other black men. Maybe you should stop going to fuck parties period if you don’t want certain guys approaching you, all they’re trying to do is bust a nut, it’s not that deep, it’s not like you’re Gods gift to men because if you were you wouldn’t be troll for dick…

  • deacon

    LeNair Xavier: After reading a few post from your blog you’re the last guy that should be trying to call someone out…your self hatred of being black is evident in your opinion of other black men. Maybe you should stop going to fuck parties period if you don’t want certain guys approaching you, all they’re trying to do is bust a nut, it’s not that deep, it’s not like you’re Gods gift to men because if you were you wouldn’t be troll for dick…

  • deacon

    LeNair Xavier: After reading a few post from your blog you’re the last guy that should be trying to call someone out…your self hatred of being black is evident in your opinion of other black men. Maybe you should stop going to fuck parties period if you don’t want certain guys approaching you, all they’re trying to do is bust a nut, it’s not that deep, it’s not like you’re Gods gift to men because if you were you wouldn’t be trolling for dick…

  • DarkZephyr

    @deacon: Dang dude, you clearly thought that point needed repeating.

  • Dxley

    @deacon: Wow, man. Talk about reiteration!

  • jwrappaport

    I wonder if they need an entry-level attorney to make sure the models don’t get into legal trouble. I think I know a guy…

  • AngelicaCarter

    my Aunty Allison recently got a nice six month old GMC Sierra by working parttime from a macbook… over here,,, smarturl.it/pg1cfz

  • pauleky

    Ugh…give me a hot, hairy guy any day. Twinkie clones – no thanks.

  • Geeker

    So Andrew Christian is the official underwear of porn stars,escorts and go go boys? Cause that’s what his ads seem to be trying to put across.

  • JustaThought

    Nice to look at, and lets face it, we don’t look at ‘pictures’ to judge their intellect. Smart or dumb as toast, I don’t care!
    As for those that comment on ‘former or current occupations i.e. strippers/escorts etc, who CARES? Again, they are nice to look at which is a good thing to be whilst being photographed!

  • ShowMeGuy

    @LeNair Xavier: I am reminded of a scandal which rocked a community in South-East Missouri way back in the distant times of the 1980s. The school’s student population was about 60% White and 40% Black. The football team was basically the same percentages but the cheerleaders were all White. Claims of racism were hurled freely and wildly all over the State. The teacher who served as the cheerleading sponsor was about to be fired. Something amazing happened. People who judged the cheerleading tryouts came to the sponsor’s defense by reminding the bloodthirsty mob that there were no Black girls on the cheerleading team because none of the Black girls bothered to show up for try-outs for the cheerleading team.
    Most times, history gets made by the people who bother to show up.

  • Northboy

    (raised eyebrow) Flip Flops?

    Yes, Please!

  • Vegas Tearoom

    It’s not as if he’s ever made them present their holes…

  • MudgeBoy

    @J.c.: I agree J.c. and they do look like they’re having a good time. And the article was hilarious.

Comments are closed.