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10 Things The KKK Should Do Now That It Has Decided To Diversify

Now that one arm of the vile KKK announced plans to drop the whole homophobic/racist/anti-semitic messaging and welcome gays, blacks and other minorities, it’s time to kick in some marketing suggestions of our own.

Scroll down for 10 things the KKK should do to extend its newly revamped brand…

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Sponsor a float in next year’s Gay Pride parade

Application deadline is April 1, 2015.


Launch a support group for displaced immigrant children

Or as Michele Bachmann likes to call them, dark-skinned “invaders.”

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Volunteer to register voters in the Castro

The 2016 election will be here before you can say “Keep America American.” (That’s the former Triple K slogan Mitt Romney later recycled for his 2012 campaign.)

Screen shot 2014-11-10 at 4.14.42 PMRelease a sexy “Men of the KKK” calendar

We’ve seen calendars featuring sexy priests, sexy Jewish pinups, and sexy redheads. Now how about one showcasing sexy klansmen in varying degrees of undress? Presumably, the new Klan would feature a diverse range of sexy guys of color.


Accompany Madonna on a humanitarian trip to Malawi

And pose for lots of inspiring photos with African children before breaking ground on a new English language school for orphan girls.

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Pose for the NOH8 campaign

Because everyone knows that’s what you do when you want to prove you’re not a bigot anymore.


Donate to Lady Gaga‘s Born This Way Foundation

Just don’t ask her where the money goes. She couldn’t tell ya.

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Take the “It Gets Better” pledge

And spread a message of hope.


Apologize for the decades of horrific crimes the members of your organization have committed against humanity

And then…



Beat it.


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