On May 8th, 13 Reasons Why actor Tommy Dorfman breezed into the MTV Movie Awards wearing a boxy plaid skirt-suit and glimmering sequin platform heels, as one is wont to do.
“I’ve had a lot of insecurities about being gay in this industry,” the actor told Out in 2017.
If that’s still the case, he’s certainly not wearing them on his puffy sleeves.
Perfume Genius
Mike Hadreas, who performs under the alias Perfume Genius, contains multitudes — and many of those personas are decidedly female. “I write a lot as this woman,” he told Lower Dens’ Jana Hunter in 2015.
“I have a Facebook profile for an older woman that lives in Juneau, and I write as her a lot. She’s really into mystery writers, and she writes these long things about when she met them and stuff. It’s really nonsensical. She’s really into Barbara Kingsolver, and mystery writers…Dennis Franz, from “NYPD Blue”, that’s her favorite actor. And the Rembrandts.”
Kieran Strange
Rae Spoon
Rae Spoon is a Canadian singer-songwriter who grew up as transgender in Calbary, Alberta. Raised by a paranoid-schizophrenic father in a Pentecostal household, the genre-hopping artist — who has written country, folk, punk, and electro — has preferred the pronoun “they” since 2012, explaining to Now Magazine:
“After years of fighting to be called ‘he,’ the idea of coming out again made me tired. But now I feel kind of rejuvenated, ready to fight on some more. I think the ‘they’ pronoun is a pretty cool thing. It’s letting a lot of people not have to identify as a man or a woman. Whatever it means to them.”
Tom Phelan
While actor Tom Phelan plays Cole, a transgender male character on ABC’s The Fosters, the actor prefers using “they/them” pronouns and is non-binary.
“I still deal with misgendering and violent language and people being jerks in general,” they told Hollywood Reporter.
“But I’ve been much more lucky than Cole in that I have a very supportive family and most of the people I’ve come out to have generally been very accepting and kind. I definitely still deal with struggling with access to medical transition and self-image issues. It’s been much easier than the way Cole has had it just because my family has been so amazing.”
Andreja Pejic
Australian model Andreja Pejic was initially known as the first totally androgynous supermodel before completing her transition in 2013.
“I don’t believe that the fight for trans rights or African American rights is different from the fight against war, or the fight for refugees,” she told i-D in a video interview.
Related: After Genderqueer Teen Set On Fire For Wearing A Skirt, Classmates Dress In Solidarity
Regarding her decision to transition, she said: “There was definitely a lot of, ‘Oh, you’re going to lose what’s special about you. You’re not going to be interesting anymore. There are loads of pretty girls out there.'”
“It is about showing that this is not just a gimmick.”
Jinkx Monsoon
Winner of the fifth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Jinkx Monsoon goes by “she” and “her” when performing, but prefers “they” and “them” pronouns when out of drag.
In a March 2015 Facebook post, Monsoon said, “I myself do not identify as cis-gingered. I am genderless.”
They expounded upon this in an April 2017 interview with Queerty:
“I’ve never identified as fully male. I’ve always identified as more gender fluid or gender ambiguous, but I never knew the vocabulary to explain it for myself.”
JD Samson
Musician, producer, DJ, and songwriter JD Samson is a member of both Le Tigre and MEN. While she still more-or-less identifies as a woman, Samson sometimes considers herself part of the trans community, as well.
Talking to Gaynz in 2012, she said: “I think people are confused often about whether I identify as queer, lesbian, transgender, or whether I go by male or female pronouns more than anything.”
“And to be honest, I don’t care much with the way people think of me. More than anything I just want other people not to feel frustrated by my body or my existence. I want nothing less than for people to feel comfortable around my being. And hope that they can find a way to stop trying to categorize me and just know me as a human.”
Eliot Sumner
Eliot Paulina Sumner (aka Coco) is an English performer who released her first album The Contestant in 2010 with her band I Blame Coco. She also releases solo music under her birth name, Eliot.
The daughter of Sting and actress Trudie Styler, Sumner said in a 2015 interview with The Evening Standard that she doesn’t identify as any gender, only as a musician.
“I don’t believe in any specifications,” she said.
Angel Haze
American rapper and singer Angel Haze (Raykeea Wilson) considers herself to be pansexual and agender. The “Echelon (It’s My Way)” singer told The Guardian in 2012 that:
“Love is boundary-less. If you can make me feel, if you can make me laugh – and that’s hard – then I can be with you. I don’t care if you have a vagina or if you’re a hermaphrodite or whatever.”
She doesn’t care if you call her a “he” or a “she”. Just don’t call her a “they,” okay?
“I sound like four people when I get written about as ‘they’,” she told The Evening Standard last year.
“It drives me crazy. If you call me ‘him’ or ‘her’ it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t consider myself of any sex. I consider myself an experience.”
Jaden Smith
“In five years when a kid goes to school wearing a skirt, he won’t get beat up and kids won’t get mad at him.”
That’s Jaden Smith’s goal, anyway. Tabloids have already written reams about the 17-year-old actor’s gender-fluid sense of style, but Smith claims he doesn’t even see what the big deal is, anyway.
“I feel like people are kind of confused about gender norms,” he told filmmaker Baz Luhrmann during an interview for Nylon. “I feel like people don’t really get it.”
“I’m not saying that I get it, I’m just saying that I’ve never seen any distinction.”
Ruby Rose
Ruby Rose has worn many hats in her relatively short career: She’s been a model, DJ, recording artist, MTV VJ, television presenter, and actress.
Best known for her work in Orange is the New Black, Rose came out as gender-fluid in 2014.
She came out as a lesbian when she was 12 and wanted to be a boy when she grew up.
“I am very gender fluid and feel more like I wake up every day sort of gender neutral,” she told News.
In an interview with The Guardian, she further clarified:
I feel like I’m neither, yeah. Well, if I had to choose it would be a boy, a guy. I feel like I’m a boy, but I don’t feel like I should’ve been born with different parts of my body or anything like that. I feel like it’s just all in how I dress and how I talk and how I look and feel, and that makes me happy….
I think I’m lucky enough to have accepted my body. I’ve done a lot of therapy. I have a lot of trans friends, and I’ve seen them go through the surgeries. I saw the desperation that they had. I remember thinking, “Do I have that? Do I really need to go and put myself through that?” And I thought, No, I don’t. I really sit in a more neutral place, which I’m grateful for as well. I really admire the people that do it, and I think that they’re amazing. I just wish that there was more support for them. Because it’s an elective surgery it costs an arm and a leg — I did a lot of research into it. It’s not a priority, but it should be. It’s such a huge cause of suicide, a huge cause of self-harm. I think at this stage I will stay a woman but … who knows. I’m so comfortable right now I feel wonderful about it, but I also fluctuate a lot.
Eleanor “Elly” Jackson
Outstandingly coiffed artist Eleanor “Elly” Jackson is best known as the lead singer of La Roux (the electro band behind the still-ubiquitous 2012 hit “Bulletproof”).
The pop star doesn’t adhere to any sort of strict gender identity, saying in 2010:
“I don’t have a sexuality. I don’t feel like I’m female or male. I don’t belong to the gay or straight society, if there is such a thing.
I feel like I’m capable of falling in love with other people.
I’m not saying I’m bisexual, I’m just sexual!”
In a 2014 Guardian profile, she elaborated further on her stance:
“If I say, ‘I’m straight,’ nobody will come around to my house and take a picture of my boyfriend. If I say, ‘I’m gay,’ then somebody will come around and try to take a picture of my girlfriend.
It’s all very well people telling me to be open about it, but it will impact my life.
Why should I have to bear the brunt of what would happen? All I know is that if it’s not something I have any interest or desire to talk about, then that needs to be my only reason.”
Amandla Stenberg
Best known for a star turn in The Hunger Games as Rue, the 18-year-old actress and musician identifies as non-binary and used to identify as bisexual.
Last year, Stenberg told Elle:
“Bisexual is a word I am not too attached to….”
“It implies a dichotomy that doesn’t take into account trans people. So maybe pansexual is more accurate for me.”
Stenberg is also notably candid when fans ask questions about gender identify:
Did we miss anyone you think should’ve been included in the list? Sound off in the comments below!
Kevrj
Um… you have the wrong Tom Phelan. The guy who’s instagram you have is from a YouTube channel.
Here is the twitter of the atom Phelan from The Fosters
: https://mobile.twitter.com/tomphelan9?lang=en
Kevrj
Here is an article from glaad with a picture of him on the fosters
http://www.glaad.org/blog/fosters-actor-tom-phelan-talks-glaad-about-playing-one-tvs-new-trans-characters
Donston
While I do feel like a lot of this “I have no gender or sexuality” movement is frequently just dressing for narcissism and homophobia and obsession with retaining some sense of hetero and gender normalcy, it is refreshing to hear people who are willing to be outright about their sense of self without pretension and vagueness, which is what half of these people have to offer.
On another note, although I had a brief relationship with a trans-man and prefer to top I realized I still needed to cis man. But damn are there are some damn good looking trans-men out there.
pudman56
Kinda, sorta couldn’t disagree more. I don’t know what it is like to be gender neutral, trans, etc., but one thing I know for sure after 60 years on this earth is that there isn’t a person qualified to tell me I don’t or do have a sexuality. I haven’t been intimate with another man in ages, I still consider my sexuality to be gay. Ergo, I’m asexual by choice, gay by genetics, and most important I am I and you nor anyone else has the right or the ammunition to fight that statement.
Now…to be clear…that is who I am and I am the only one who is qualified to define me.
Donston
I really don’t see how anything you said contradicts what I said. Unless you replied to the wrong post.
scotshot
It appears you only identify one way of thinking – feel free to do so, of course, but you may only define yourself.
scotshot
pudman56- we could have been separated at birth.
Liam
I have a few friends who consider themselves F2M and M2F transsexuals. I have a few acquaintances who consider themselves gender-fluid. Given my age, this isn’t at all odd. I also know that I’m a Kinsey 6 cis — I’m attracted to folk who present as male even if that’s just societal veneer, and I’m happy with that.
Do I hate cis- or trans-folk? Just the opposite. Do I understand being trans or fluid? No: I can read about and talk to fluid- or trans-folk, but I cannot know what it is to be fluid or trans the way that I know what it is to be cis. Likewise, I cannot know what it is to be Black no matter how much I read about or talk with Blacks. I can extrapolate, I can empathize, I can draw comparisons to what I experience as a cis gay man.
I don’t see trans- or fluid-folk as less than me but as my equals. I expect the same in return, even if that comes from having been told by part of the gay community for the past 30 years that I’m not fem enough to be gay.
He BGB
I feel both good and bad about this gender less thing. Somehow I feel like some are just trying to get attention, be different and so on, but I also think there is a need for less obsession with man/woman, boy/girl, pink/blue, etc. That only men can do this or only women do that. It shouldn’t be like that. I’ve always hated that men are limited to plain suits and have been for centuries and women get to wear color and variety. First, so there is no separation of gender and sexual orientation? I thought transgender had been preaching that all along so now there is neither? I guess it’s individual, for the person and you can’t paint one broad stroke for everyone.
He BGB
I remember in the 1970s, in college going thru my identity phase, about 40 years before these young artists. I was using an eyelash curler and a teeny bit of mascara and glossy chapstick. I also had a little ache so I wore the flesh colored Clearasil. I went to drama class and this guy asked me, do you makeup on?!? More like an exclamation, than a question. How rude! It shouldn’t have mattered but it was 1976 remember and David Bowie was a famous and rich but us ordinary men had to be dull and conform. This was also the time when a pierced ear on a man was a scandal…..so I’m glad these young people above are changing things but it should be real and from the heart not just trying to get attention.
Donston
Obsession with non-conforming and defining oneself has always been a thing with the youth and with narcissists. That’s why it can be to tell when people are being legit about their inherent self and impulses and when it’s all about ego and sociology. What’s going on now isn’t much different than what happens in every generation.
scotshot
Donston
Conforming to what? Current trends as defined by you?
A couple hundred years ago men wore frilly clothes and more makeup than women did. Please go elsewhere to display your ignorance.
Donston
I’m not even certain what you’re trying to argue against.
Indeed, there are people who are trans-minded or gender “neutral”/gender “complex” minded. I’ve always argued that. And there’s scientific and psychological proof to back it up. Same with homosexuality. I never move too far away from the science. However, a lot of what goes on with “identity” isn’t science-based, especially for plenty teenagers and people in their 20’s. We all should be smart enough to know and accept that there are a lot of different reasons people identify as whatever they identify as, and sociology and ego have always had a big impact on identity. Let’s not try to pretend otherwise.
Danny595
He BGB said: “I was using an eyelash curler and a teeny bit of mascara and glossy chapstick. ”
That’s really sad. I feel badly for your dad. Hopefully, you had enough decency to keep it from him. You should have taken a hint from your classmate. If you are getting called out even in drama class, that should tell you that your manhood is failing.
dean089
I applaud anyone who has the courage to just be themselves at all times, but articles like this just scream “this year’s trendy gimmick.” I also find it hilarious that the ‘battle’ against labels involves creating a dozen or more new labels. That right there tells me that all this is nothing more than the latest ‘notice me’ fad.
Donston
We’ve seen two extremes over the last few years: the invention of 1000 new “labels” and the uprising of “I don’t want to be labeled. For I am just a human being”. Many of the same people intersect both standings.
KaiserVonScheiss
More of this “non-binary” nonsense. Gender is binary. It must be rooted in biology otherwise the term is meaningless. Non-binary make as much sense as claiming my gender to be a tulip.
Liam
Many of the indigenous peoples would disagree.
KaiserVonScheiss
@Liam So what?
The Egyptians thought their Pharaoh was divine. No amount of belief makes something a fact.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
First adequately define your terms otherwise this is complete bullshit
KaiserVonScheiss
Gender – the expression of sex or the characteristics commonly associated with sex.
Gender is clearly rooted in the biological concept of sex and the characteristics associated with sex.
Why is tulip not a valid gender? The reason is because tulip has nothing to do with biological sex, just like non-binary.
Biological sex is male or female. Intersex is not a third sex. It is an abnormality, a birth defect and does not constitute a third biological sex. In order to have a third biological sex, this third sex would not be an abnormality. It would be quite common and play a role in human reproduction, but such a thing simply does not exist.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
I fear we may be at cross-purposes. I was referring to the multifarious amorphous and all too often contradictory idiosyncratic definitions adduced by these speciality acts
Donston
‘Snarkness’ for once (or twice) stands where I stand. I don’t see the need to identify as anything special just cause you’re a straight dude who likes to wear skirts and make up sometimes or a gay men who likes to where high-heels or a bisexual butch woman or a woman who likes to be fem sometime and mas sometimes. Most of that is just costumes and indulging narcissistic and non-conformist instincts. Now, if you actually legitimately feel like you’re not you were born that’s another thing.
scotshot
Sexuality and gender identification is rooted/based within the brain – the largest sexual organ in humans. Stop with the evangelical definitions.
Heywood Jablowme
@KaiserVonScheiss: Maybe you should have used a different plant as a metaphor. Tulips are hermaphroditic and have both male and female reproductive organs:
http://www.gardenguides.com/123813-flower-parts-tulip.html
BriBri
Whatever fluffs your skirt, I just like to suck dick.
kevininbuffalo
Same here, why complicate the crap out of everything? People should do what they want.
Donston
So, Queerty is just gonna ignore this PWR BTTM stuff? Probably for the best.
DonalMM
this flirtation with gender get ups has been around for a long long time: just look at 19th-century photos.
The current fascination is nothing new, just that trend now is to pass off butch gals and swishy boys as transgender when mostly it’s just imaginative and daring cross dressing & make up without the masectomies, hormones, steroids, and surgeries. And, c’mon people, “no label” is a label, and my guess is that only a small percentage of us truly don’t care if it is a vagina or a penis….I’m all for sexual liberation, freedom to love, dignity of all people, but once in a while we need a reality check.
NateOcean
Interesting looking people to be sure, but narcissistic and self-absorbed…and then they open their mouths.
Attention Wh0res, the lot of them.
Donston
Damn. And I thought I was the mean one.
ErikO
hahaha very true Nate Ocean.
JoeyRamone
I don’t care how anyone wants to be defined. But don’t expect me to read minds. If I think I see a guy, I address him as he. Same with a woman. A lot of non gender identified people I meet in the world and see on these sites look like either men or women to me, and often contradict how that individual identifies. I’m not going around asking people, “how should I address you?” especially when most of the people I meet are gender-conforming. It sucks to be a misunderstood minority, for sure. But, unfortunately, the onus is on the gender-nonconformist to educate the people he/she/they is dealing with as we don’t live in a non-gendered world and never will. I’m gonna read you as I experience you. So, I’ll respect your identity as you’ve determined it, but first you gotta let me know what is your identify identification. Good luck, especially as you age. It’s a hard road.
tigglywuff
I actually reall agree with this! There really isn’t passing for “they” in a measurable way. It’s hell on nonbinary people like me to not being addressed pro
tigglywuff
That comment got really messed up! I meant:
I actually really agree with this! There really isn’t passing for “they” in a measurable way. It’s hell on nonbinary people like me to be hard on ourselves OR others not being addressed properly the first time around. We live in a society that looks at gender as a binary more often than not. (Hence our distinction as nonbinary).
But your attitude is spot on and I would be absolutely fine being assumed one gender just to let them know hey, actually that’s not what I am. If they respect my wishes after that I can’t complain!
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
@tigglywuff what’s the difference between nonbinary and gender-nonconforming?
tigglywuff
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID Good question. For me, it means that I felt massive dysphoria my whole life. It wasn’t just being a tomboy (in fact, I have gone back and forth through more masculine and feminine expressions in my life). It was more than that. It was deeply distressing.
Throughout high school I thought I was FTM transgender. I thought that was the answer to why I always felt a such a genuine rush of joy when my gender was questioned or undetermined by others, why I always fantasized about operating through a more neutral lens in a gendered society, why I felt so alone and confused by my suffering. My body didn’t look how I felt on the inside, for one. When I started my period at 14, I had the first of many panic attacks. I felt myself being packed into a box that I didn’t belong in without my permission at that moment when I looked at my underwear. I thought “This means I’m supposed to be a woman now.” and the thought threw me into a major depression that my parents couldn’t understand. I eventually accepted myself as FTM but did not come out (although I had many secret profiles and avatars on online games and social media at that point to try and express and validate those parts of myself. I fashioned my own stand-to-pee device and dreamed of owning a packer).
But even then, I couldn’t seem to find happiness. My dissonance with being female was ever pervading, but I also could not see a future for myself where I assumed a male identity. It seemed not quite right either. (And trust me, I wanted it to be!)
Eventually I learned the term genderqueer, and more recently, nonbinary. I realized that just because “Girl” felt wrong, that didn’t necessarily mean “Boy” would feel right. I realized men and women are not opposites. I realized there was more to the story. So, what is the difference between being gender nonconforming and nonbinary?
For me, it means a perpetual dissassociation with either full on female or male identities. It means they/them pronouns may seem silly to others, but it just feels right to me. It means I plan on starting low dose testosterone therapy, but I may not always be on it, and I have no want to change my feminine sounding given name. It means I wear dreases when I feel like it, but I also know I’ll wear a tux to my wedding. It means whenever I was or am introduced to characters in games or media that is androgynous/gender unknown/gender neutral, I feel an overwhelming relatable satisfaction that I can ride like a wave.
For others, it may be different. We could question why (binary) trans people believe they’re trans and not just nonconforming, too. But at the end of the day there is no one gauge or test; we just have to trust their experiences.
tigglywuff
Genderqueer and nonbinary identities are extremely real and I’m really glad they’re getting coverage. I’ve been identifying as genderqueer for TEN YEARS. It isn’t a new thing.
Although I can understand being cautious that this is just a millenial trend, as someone active in gq/nb communities and groups, I can assure you they are significantly made up of people 25 and older. I have several friends who began their gender journey identifying as MTF or FTM and now at 45-50 years old, feel much more comfortable and affirmed in the “in between” or “other” space that these terms help describe.
I think it divides the trans community to be hypercritical of things solely because they are newly emerging. To be honest, no one is going to live their lives going through the work of coming out over and over and fighting for acceptance if they aren’t actually legitimately identifying as gq or nb. Not for long. It’s as silly as saying someone will feign gay in their public lives just to peep at women in Target bathrooms. Come on.
Yeah, some of these are just kids trying to find their way or feel special- but should that diminish the respect for true identities of people suffering for their truth, going through transitions (or not going through them and facing that backlash too), being rejected by their families, fighting for their rights, and facing the struggles that all unify us?
We desperately need to seek to understand transgender experiences for ALL they are- not just the narratives that are more simple or clean-cut or easier to swallow. And there are as many experiences as there are transgender people. Same with experiences if sexuality. It’s just not all black and white.
I think a lot of the hesitance to accept this comes from a lack of understanding. I for one am willing to answer any questions anyone has about why I identify as nonbinary and what that means.
Donston
Now this is how you do it. Someone willing to educate instead of immediately becoming defensive and closed off. We all need to try this tactic more often.
I have enough queer-gendered/trans identifying friends and associates and have dated enough far ranging people to feel like I have an understanding of a wide range of things. Nevermind that I’m just a naturally curious person and have done my own research. The amount of insensitivity and ignorance is unfortunate. But as I’ve said quite a few times the biggest problem that lies within the LGBTQ etc community besides self-hate and self-destructive behaviors are people taking on identities that don’t truly belong to them and people whose gender and sexual identity is clearly driven by sociology and/or narcissism/megalomania. They’re the ones that really f it up.
Xzamilloh
Whoooo… I’m exhausted just reading this article, so I couldn’t imagine being friends will all of them/it/zem/they/zey/[insert pronoun here]
dinard38
Amen to that, brotha. All of these labels are ridiculous. I recently read an article that New York City recognizes 30….. Yes I repeat….30 gender identities. How the hell you come up with 30 different gender identities?
jasentylar
If you were true friends, it would matter to you and you’d make the adjustment.
jrh311
You should add Elliot Fletcher, who is also on The Fosters and on Shameless. And he’s super hot.
Lvng1Tor
I’m actually surprised by so many affirming and positive comments on this thread. I expected to see so much more of the same internalized homophobic, sexist, transphobic, b!goted troll BS that I’ve come to loathe from Queerty readers. Even some of the people disagreeing are actually attempting debate and not too many personal attacks…It’s a mothers day miracle.
As for the people talking about the labels thing….what you are not understanding is that “labeling” is something that is pushed on you. What these people are doing is self-identifying. There is a huge difference. We can all self-identify and that should be respected. If you meet someone and misgender them, they correct you, you say the same statement over with the correct identification…and move on. No big deal. I don’t see how respecting another person is so hard for so many.
Danny595
“According to GLAAD, 12% of millennials currently identify as genderqueer, transgender, or gender non-conforming.”
Yes, you should always get your social science research from non-peer reviewed handouts from political organizations!
Lvng1Tor
Even I who work in the LGBTQ field find this number ridiculous. I’d love to find out where Harris did their polling (large cities) and the actual question they asked. I’m guessing the large number is due to the “gender non-conforming” part which included not having an expression that fit with societal norms. It’s way too vague and could include anyone who thinks that wearing pink makes you a gender nonconformist.
gallop has done a much better and specific poll and found that millennials report about 7.6% compared to 5%(apx) of people older identify somewhere in the LGBTQ spectrum.
But the actual % is less important than realizing trans people exist and deserve respect, regardless of the amount of population they make up.
inbama
The increase in numbers may be due to pesticide use.
Exposure to chemicals routinely sprayed on our crops is known to cause hormonal imbalances and hermaphroditism in animals.
Just google atrazine and glyphosate.
Charlie in Charge
Oh the comments section – so very often it’s a wall of “I don’t relate to what these people are doing or saying about themselves, they must be narcissists!” Doesn’t that sound a little like what homophobes say about gay men and lesbians.
If we don’t have time for the stupidity of homophobes who can’t handle the thought of two men or two women in bed why do you think we have the time for your stupidity about people who don’t identify as gender binary.
I’m not genderqueer, but it doesn’t subtract one single iota of happiness in my life for people to identify that way or express themselves.
alanballs
My, my, what beautiful, young people they are. Where I live (China) there are no pronouns for “he” or “she”…..we just use the word, “tah”, and it can mean he, she, they, him, her, or them…..depending on the context of the conversation. I have to say that (even though it can be, at times, confusing) I greatly appreciate the gender fluid generation, and I applaud their tenacity, courage and audacity to stand up and BE THEMSELVES. And I really love how the religious nuts get all bent and worked up over gender fluidity….it’s fun to watch their narrow-minded, little brains explode.