grinding to a halt

16 Grindr Profiles Now Banned Under the New Puritan Rules

Software makers revise their guidelines all the time, but nobody tightens the rules faster than developers subject to Apple’s increasingly stringent rules about what can be sold in its iPhone app store. And that includes Grindr, which just outlawed a whole slew of profiles with some new PG-rules. That’s gonna affect a lot of ya..

The GPS-based meet-hook-look-up app has, because of the App Store’s existing rules, never allowed members to display naked photos in their main profile pictures. (What transpires in private chat is up to you.) But updated rules go much father. Basically, the most risque you can go is board shorts; no Speedos.

* No bare skin below the waistline (hip bone area) or above the upper thighs can be shown.
* No underwear can be visible. Swimwear must follow the bare skin rule above.
* Pants and shorts must be worn normally, buttoned, and not pulled or hanging down.
* Hand or fingers cannot be down pants or pulling underwear outward.
* No images of anyone under 18 years of age.
* No copyrighted pictures or illustrations.
* No images that show semen (or any fluid made to look like semen or ejaculation) on anything in photo.
* No images of sexual acts, either real or illustrated.
* No photo that is sexually explicit or overly suggestive.
* Photos cannot be altered to hide sexual acts including a black box or blurred filters to hide sexual images such as touching of genitals by hand.
* No photos of frontal, back or side nudity.
* No nudity (particularly the genitals) covered up by a towel, hat or other means.
* No grabbing/holding or touching genitals or genital area.
* No pubic hair can be visible.
* No photos with sheer, or otherwise see-through or wet material below the waist.
* No outline of genitals through clothing will be allowed.
* No crotch area only, neither back nor front.
* No images that show suggestive or overly sexual poses.
* Photos cannot contain sex props and toys, including the use of fruits/vegetables.
* No images of illegal drug use and paraphernalia.
* No images of firearms or weapons.
* No photos of any obscene gestures and/or lewd behavior.
* You cannot display photos of violent acts to yourself, someone else, or animals.
* No image used to advertising your services, goods, websites, or events.
* No Image of any non-Grindr users, including celebrities.
* No profanity or curse words.

Also, you can’t say how big your dick is, that you’re a top or bottom, or whether you’re cut. Time to find some cute Japanese emojicons to send the message for you, eh?

So let’s see some profiles that, effective immediately, are inappropriate.

(Above Photo: BANNED: No grabbing your balls.)

BANNED: No underwear can be visible

BANNED: Too much upper thigh

BANNED: No upper thigh or underwear, sir

BANNED: No sexually suggestive poses allowed, even with dolls

BANNED: Who knows what this is, but if it’s semen, you’re gone

BANNED: So you heard about the no underwear rule, right?

BANNED: That looks like bare skin below the waist line to us. Also, no backside nudity

BANNED: So close, but no

BANNED: While your pubic hair might not be visible (that’s a no-no), you’ve got way too much thigh on display. See ya

BANNED: Sexually suggestive much?

BANNED: If you shave your pubes, can you avoid the rule? Maybe, but you can’t avoid the “no hands down pants” one

BANNED: We’re pretty sure “covering it with your hand” doesn’t keep you safe

BANNED: Sex props and toys are prohibited, buddy

BANNED: Shared your preferred position? Oh hell no!

BANNED: No links to anything but Facebook or Twitter, bloggy boy

ALLOWED: We actually couldn’t find anything about this photo that violates the new rules

[Photos via FWG]