16 Of The Best And Worst Coming Out Stories From Anonymous Sharing App “Whisper”

Oscar Wilde said that if you give a man a mask, he will tell you the truth. Anonymity does tend to let honesty free (just take a look at some of the comments on Queerty). Whisper is an app that gives users a forum for anonymous expression — you log in and speak your mind, and nobody ever knows who you are. Then other users comment or direct message one another.

Unsurprisingly, the app is flooded with gay content. We tend to have loud opinions, skeleton-filled closets and complicated pasts.

It’s even being used by some to facilitate a hook up here and there.

Here are 16 posts about the struggles of coming out from users all over the world. The good, the bad, the funny and yes, the ugly. Just about sums it up.

















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  • Scribe38

    Me: I’m gay
    Dad: -_-
    Me: Dad I’m gay. Did you hear me?
    Dad: Yea I know. Are you f*cking that kid William because he is really a piece of sh*t and you can do better.

  • DarkZephyr

    @Scribe38: Is that how it really went?

    I was 19 and told my Mom over the phone. She replied with “You like guys?!” I said “Yeah…” She said “OH! OK! Well on the way home, could you pick up some coffee?” lol

    My favorite of the ones above was “When I told my parents that I was gay, my Mom handed my Dad $20”. Ha ha ha they bet on it.

  • muscl954

    I came out to my Dad when I was 25 years old. He told me,” I’ve known since you were 15.” I didn’t even know when I was 15!! lol

  • jd2222248

    at 22 years old (years ago), I came out to my mom and brother at the sometime. My mom said “we could have been going out to club together!” My brother “that’s it?”

    I love them! :-)

  • Bulls Eye

    (Honest-to-god, the way I came out to my parents was on the telephone with my mom, from my college dorm room):

    Me:…you mean you KNOW?
    Mom: yes… But your father wants to talk to you…
    Me: Ok… Hi dad…
    Dad: Yeah, Hi son. And you know your mom and I love you, and all. But I gotta ask you a question — doesn’t his beard scratch your face?

    (Yes. It was that simple. I guess timing is everything.)

  • auntsharon

    I told my mother I was gay. She cried and asked, “Oh, what did I do?” Thirty minutes later it was “Oh, what do you do?”

  • nokkonwud

    When I came out to my Mom, she took me to a psychiatrist. He told her I was fine but he could help her accept me. This was in 1975.

  • morgan riggs

    When I came out to my husband as a gay trans guy, he sat for a long while and then said, “Well, the puzzle pieces finally fit. I always wondered why you were so different than any woman I’ve ever met.” And yeah we are still together.

  • RSun

    After my stepmother broke the news to my father, he called me at work…”I heard your news on the way to town today. I didn’t hit the ditch so it can’t be that bad.”

  • tsknoxville

    Many years ago… I went home specifically to come out to my mom and dad. I fully expected my mother to hug me and say “that’s all right, I still love you”; and I expected my dad to either have a heart attach or rant at me. WRONG!

    The first morning I was watching a television interview which was featuring a gay man. My mom wandered into the room, watched for a moment, and said “they should just stop. They’re just disgusting!”

    (Pause) “Uh mom, they can’t just stop. I should know because I’m one.

    She fell to pieces! The next thing I know she’s asking me to not tell my dad and dragging me off to a meeting with some minister (not her own!!!!). While he didn’t agree with my being gay, the minister encouraged us to continue talking. He asked if my dad knew; and when we said No, he indicated that we should not withhold this information from dad.

    So, I spent the next day snd a half working up my courage to tell my dad. Finally after spending much time with him basically doing nothing…. I told him. His only comments were “does your mother know? I thought something was wrong.” AND “I hope you’ll be safe.” That was it!

    And while the time was a bit traumatic, it was liberating.

  • Austin77

    I came out at 13 (as soon as I realized; I was kind of totally asexual before that). Mom just did the “it’s a phase, you’ll grow out of it” thing, and my step-dad just shrugged (he has a gay brother).

    3 years later, my mom did the knock-knock-open-the-door thing around noon on a Saturday and found me in bed (barely waking up) with my first boyfriend. She just kind of paused a second, then said, “So, what do you guys want for breakfast?”

    She and I had plenty of arguments and problems through the years over other things, but I have to give her props for that one.

  • Tommysole

    Mom told me She was disappointed in me and then said, “Don’t tell any of our friends, what would they think about me for having a Fag son?!”

    Dad flipped out and said, “You are out of the family business!” Like I wanted to be Damn Diesel mechanic and be covered in grease, and work 70 hours a week like he did until he retired 5 years ago.

    My sister accepted it with no problem at all, “Great! Let’s go to the mall and check out guys!” I love my sister!

    My brother figured that his younger brother was gay, he could get a blowjob from me every now and then, and tried to rape me more than once. I am so glad he is drugged, drunken loser with 2 felony convictions against him and his life is a complete and total shambles!

  • jerzeeshadow

    One day when I was with my ex two of my cousins happen to see us come out the house. My cousin Enrique knew while Antonio didn’t (I was scared to tell him because he was the thug in the family). But when he pulled me aside and I told him, he said he was only upset I didn’t tell him; it didn’t matter who I loved or what role I play in fucking because at the end of the day I was still a man, still his cousin, he loved me and he would kill anybody who would hurt me and have me a hug. Funny thing now is that he’s trying to hook me up with one of his honours lol.

  • TTTTom

    I told my parents I was gay while I was over at their place for dinner. Mom said “I hope you’re not just figuring that out.” When I left for the night Dad told me to never come back.

  • jerzeeshadow

    It was supposed to say homies, not honours lol

  • Lvng1tor

    My mother said “now you don’t have to lie about where you are going at night” and my dad said “You were so serious about us talking today that I thought you were going to tell me something important or bad like you are quitting college.”

  • mokuhulu

    I told my younger brother. He said so… you want a medal or something? and don’t tell mom.

    I told my older brother. He said… duh! and don’t tell mom

    I told my dad. He said It doesn’t matter, I love you anyway.. and don’t tell your mother…

    2 years later I told my mom.

    She said…

    Oh my GOD what did I DO !?!?!

    That was in 1980

  • Saint Law

    First thing my mum did was go next door and tell skinhead Mandy: “Well, you can forget it. Sean’s just come off the mantelpiece!”

  • Saint Law

    My telling dad was his cue to boast about all the men he’d slept with in the Navy: “You will never have so many!”

    But that was my old man: anything you could do, he could do better.

  • imperator

    When I came out in my first year of university, in ’97, my mom– who has a gay sister and cousin– worried that I’d get beat up or discriminated against and that I’d be unhappy. I told her I might get beat up, or discriminated against, but that not being myself would make me more unhappy than anything else that could happen to me. I asked her to let me tell my dad because I needed some more psyching-up first, but she did, and I knew it as soon as he became more antagonistic than usual. When I asked him what his problem was, he said “shit on a stick stinks” and that if I wanted to “paint my dick pink and wag it around in public” then I should move to Toronto.

    I honestly don’t remember how the rest of that ‘conversation’ went down… pretty sure I told him he was a small-minded idiot. I didn’t storm out of the house (though I had before, and would again later) but he was never friendly with any of the guys I dated so whenever I was seeing someone, I spent as much time as possible at their place (so clingy so fast, staying over for 4-5 days at a time a week after getting together probably contributed to those first few not lasting). Then my parents got a cottage where they spent most weekends and I was able to have a boyfriend without immediately moving in together (and that’s lasted 11 years now), and then dad got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer right around when I finally moved out for good, and I think he realized that if he wanted any kind of relationship with me better than what he had with his dad, he was going to have to stop being such a passive-aggressive prick about me being gay. So things got a bit better, at least superficially; not long before he died, he and my mom saw my bf at the grocery store and he called him “sweetie.” Might have been the pain meds talking, though, pancreatic cancer’s pretty brutal.

    My sister couldn’t have cared less, and for a while ended up dating… um… I’m not sure- a guy who wanted to be a girl but wanted to keep the installed plumbing… but when she dumped him it was because she said he was an unreliable freeloader.

    And today, my relationship with my bf of ~11 years includes a third who joined us a little over 2 years ago, and nobody in my family’s raised an eyebrow over it (at least not to me directly). My mom and sister have both met our other bf and were cool with him. So I make no secret of being poly, either.

    Frankly, the most anxiety I have around the revelation of my identity (or identities) is those times I find myself ‘outed’ as a kinky sub :-/

  • James A

    When I came out to my mom I planned a day together at the lake. When I told her, she was devastated. Her response was “It’s okay for your brother to be gay but not you”. She indicated she did not want to know about what or who was in my life and if I would still visit her. Before I left she leaned over and kissed my cheek saying “well you did fall a couple of steps off your pedestal”. Months passed and during one phone conversation she told me she heard I was seeing someone with which I responded yes but I thought you did not want to know anything. She asked if she could meet him, and from the moment she met him she loved my partner as one of her own. When we visited she insisted on giving up her bedroom for us. They would spend hours together. My mom was a very religious woman and I think that she worried that I would not make it into heaven. Before she passed away I told her one time “I promise I will see you in heaven”….and I will.

  • EngiNerd

    I told my mom I was gay and wanted to bring my boyfriend over for thanksgiving. The first thing my mom asked was if I had AIDs.

  • Jboo

    I’m kind of jealous of you guys. 25 years in…I don’t have it in me to come out to my family yet, so props to all you. I’m pretty certain my parents suspect, but on the other hand I think they’re silently hoping I’ll knock up a lady friend of mine (they have grandbaby fever). My mother has asked me point blank a couple of times (at which point my father always replies ‘for Christ sakes Carla’), but I’ve denied it. When I meet the right guy, I’m definitely not hiding him. I guess it feels like I’m dissapointing them (my parents) somehow? Kind of a weird way to feel I suppose. Little do they know I intend to have my own biological children. My parents are amazing, loving people – but they still hold some antiquated notions regarding homosexuality. It doesn’t really help that I have a gay sibling who kind of ruined the whole coming out process (they have a flair for the dramatic), and oh, who also semi-outed me to my loved ones, which felt fantastic (luckily I’m somewhat of a good bullshitter, so they believe me over him). Needless to say i’m estranged from that sibling.

  • jasentylar

    @Tommysole: Woww. I came out to my oldest brother when I was 14. He told me that shit won’t be tolerated. So, I said that I was just kidding and went back in the closet. I came out to my brother who’s a year older than me when I was 30. He was disgusted and intrigued by the sexual aspects or the fact I would do that with another guy. Then, he was hurt mostly that I failed to share my inner struggles with him. They all dropped the ball and so did I, but I never wish them harm. I want nothing but the best for all my siblings.

  • jasentylar

    @Austin77: If I was your mom and found you in bed with someone else (without your parent’s consent I’m assuming), I would’ve beat your ass. It’s disrespectful to yourself and your parents to bring someone over and carry on like that.

  • BiL

    Me: I have something to tell you that might make you mad.

    My brother: What is it?

    Me: I’m gay

    My brother: I know, but what do you have to tell me that’s going to make mad?

  • lemonmoon

    I grew up in a small village in Scotland. When i moved to London in 1980 my dad found a gay newspaper i had forgotten about in my bedroom.A couple of years later when the Aids epidemic started he sent me a letter with lots of newspaper clippings about Aids, new disease etc… I panicked , my dad was a no nonsense army guy who could be fairly tough.I dreaded what he might say. Here is a little of what i remember.

    Dear Son
    I’ve always considered your sex life to be private but i would like to bring to your attention this new disease for which there is no cure, please take adequate precautions.I knew two homosexuals when i was in the army and they were two of the nicest chaps you could ever meet. I trust this is not too patronising. I’m only writing to you in this vein because i love you very much.
    Love Dad

    He was a man of few words generally but he could choose the right words at the right moment i guess.

  • kinz

    It’s at once heartwarming and heartbreaking for me to read all these stories. It still makes me sad to think how my coming out has completely ruined my education, my future, my self-esteem and my relationships and still keeps on doing so.

    When I was 15 and hanging with some friends I got a phone-call from my mother, asking if I can come home immediately because “we have to talk”. I was scared shitless because I waas a straight-A-student and I hadn’t done anything wrong so that couldn’t be it. There could be just one reason for her to call me and ask me to come home to talk: they had found out I was gay. And I was right.

    I never knew how and when they found out, but the only thing I can imagine is the browser history on the only pc in the house, which I would use to go on chat-rooms. I had talked to a guy that was gay and I told him that I was too… no idea if this was it but whatever.

    I got a couple more calls and I didn’t answer. I remember clearly what a vulgar homophobe my father was and how my siblings would soak up that attitude like a sponge: when anything gay was on the tv they would all explode and change the channel as fast as they could.
    So I knew that this was the end for me… Frightened as I was (My father could get very angry and physically abusive) I decided, heart pounding in my chest, to refuse to go home. My phone kept ringing, my mom urging me to come home to talk. I said “no! I won’t come home because I’m afraid”. The next thing I know my father grabs the phone (I hear some rustling) and says to me: “goddammit we found out what you are and if it’s true then you will never set foot inside this house again!”. All I could say was: “ok”. And I hung up. I had a friend who was gay and he helped me call social services and I got into a shelter. It was like a nightmare and I don’t know how I made it through. Like I was on auto-pilot for a decade…

    The years went by and a lot happened, but I never felt I had a family again. Even though things have gotten a bit better between us through the years, this whole experience has shattered my life and made a crater where my youth and adolescence should have been. I’ve

    I still feel burdened by this, but I can sometimes accept that it happened the way it did. There are probably even worse stories to be told in this respect. But when I read some of the storied on this page, about parents showing their unconditional love, I feel really happy for the ones involved but it makes me feel even worse about my own story.

    I will always wonder how my life would have been if I would have been accepted and loved.

    My parents are quite ok with it now, but I still feel the lack of pride just because the fact that I am gay. Even if I would cure cancer I think they would not feel really proud.

    This all happened in The Netherlands by the way, I was born here, and both my parents are eastern-europeans.

  • rleejr

    My coming out was a long time in the making. First I came out as bisexual at 18 through a poorly thought out Facebook status. My mom simply asked me if I was and I told her yes and we left on our vacation, simple as that. Four or so years later I came out as gay. My brother and his fiancé did they typical accepting me in their own way. My brother said “what do I call you know straight?”, since he loved calling me gay. His fiancé wanted to meet my new boyfriend. My Mom seemed okay with it but sadly that wasn’t the case for the first few weeks. After a night of drinking I came home to my mom Belittling me when she found out what me and a random guy did and did the whole ” I raised you around a guy” and “your brother is straight why can’t you be”. She continued to be on the fence, either totally accepting or completely against it, kicking in me out and threatening to destroy my property when I was away at college but I decided to make my boyfriend and her meet. It was adorable because my mom instantly took a liking to him and while my boyfriend is cautious of her due to her unstable personality, he wants to have a relationship with her like I do with his family. All in all, I have read some very good stories and bad stories about coming out but mine is a mix of both and after a little over a year after coming out, I think my family finally came to accept it, since I reply haven’t changed much beside my somewhat happier outlook on life.

  • historyland

    I came out when I was 16. Indirectly of course, my story relates to the wisdom teeth drug scenario because that’s exactly what happened. I had just gotten home and I was a loopy basket case and my mom started prying into my dating life because she wanted to know if I was dating my friend Claire, so I obviously said no whilst under the influence of heavy drugs and she said well is anybody coming to see you today & I said my husband and she said who’s your husband and I said Alex (my secret boyfriend at the time) so she left the room after that and came back 10 minutes later & said “who are you dating?” And I said in a loopy daze, “Alex” so after I was all well and good (sober) she started asking me weird questions like if I knew anybody named Alex and how I said some disturbing things… Then I got curious so I checked her phone and she had texted my dad saying “Zac just told me he has a boyfriend eeeeeeek” so later that night I was forced to come out & my dad accepts me for who I am because I can’t change that about myself. & my mom to this day still blames herself

  • garyo

    It took me over forty years to come. I was too afraid to come out so i hid that was gay by pretending to liked girls. I even got married and was married for twenty-two years. We had two daughters. At age 56 i could not do it anymore. I lived a very unhappy life. I wanted to be happy so I somehow found the courage to tell my daughters. I was convinced i would lose them but I could not live the way i had been any longer. When i made the decision to tell them the fear i held for so long left me. I was not afraid anymore. I wanted to tell both my daughters at the same time. I totally screwed that up. So I told each over the phone. What I got was total acceptance from both. It did not matter to them. I was their dad and they loved me. I have been so afraid all my life i would lose the people i love most. I am out to all my family and friends. I have lost no one. I still have my family and now a partner i love very much. Writing this has bought me to tears. I wish i came out forty years ago. But i cannot regret my life because i got two incredible daughters and two beautiful granddaughters. BTW my granddaughters-when told their Papa was gay their reaction was “so what” and went off to continue playing with their toys. I love them all so much.

  • SabrinaMM

    I guess I’m pretty lucky in the coming out department. Though not medicated, I was half-asleep when I told my mom that I’d just started dating my now girlfriend. She was totally cool with it; her only concearn was that people would give me a hard time. It was harder to convince her that I did have feeling for my previous boyfriend, actually, than to come out (I’m still not sure she’s convinced I’m bisexual, and not gay, truth to be told). My dad was also pretty ok with it.

    The funniest thing was telling my best friend about it. I was at her place, we were talking and gossiping as usual, when…

    Me: Oh, btw, I’m dating a girl.
    Her: Nice. So, remember my high school boyfriend? We broke up because I cheated on him with Lucy. So I guess you can say I’m not one to judge.

    It’s cool. I know I’m not the rule here – my girlfriend is not out to her very religious family, and very scared at what will happen when she decides to tell them. But, still, I’m very happy people like my family exist in real life.

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