special nights

3 Ways to Make Constance McMillen’s Second-Chance Prom the Bestest

Shunned from her own school’s prom, Constance McMillen will now be the guest of honor at the American Humanist Association’s star-studded “second chance” event, MC’d by Lance Bass, musical appearances by Green Day, and catering by lesbian Iron Chef Cat Cora in Tupelo, Mississippi. That’s pretty awesome. Here are three ideas to make absolute rock stars. (Updated: See below.)

UPDATE: Turns out that while Green Day, Bass, and Cora are involved in the event, they are merely “sponsoring” it. The Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition tells us there are no confirmed plans any of them will actually be at the event, which AHA is, also, sponsoring but not running. So, uh, a fourth way to make the event the bestest: Get them to go.

Outfit Constance and her girlfriend in killer styles. Bring in a lesbian fashion designer like Project Runway‘s Zulema Griffin to make sure Constance’s tuxedo shows off her curves and her girlfriend’s dress draws gasp as they make an entrance. It’s the special night Constance has spent weeks pulling for, and who better to help her play dress up than a same-sex loving seamstress?

Bring on the paparazzi and the press. Constance’s classmates complained that she was making prom all about her with her silly requests to bring a date of her choosing. So ya know what? Let’s make this one ALL ABOUT HER. We want WireImage and Splash News there snapping photos. We want a deal with People magazine to run the pictures. Maybe even a top corner box on the issue’s cover? Let’s Constance’s all-star prom be impossible to ignore by her schoolmates, even in rural Mississippi. Because Constance is BFFs with Wanda and Ellen and probably Oprah by now, while those kids will have just this to look back on the rest of their lives.

Whisk them away to a private hotel suite. It might be fun hanging out with Lance Bass and the prom band on the dance floor, but once the lights come up, it’s private time. We all know prom carries the arbitrary designation as the night high schoolers lose their V card, and while we aren’t gonna even go there with Constance, she and her girl should get to unwind in private luxury.

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  • Brandon

    2 can play this childish “no homer’s”(its a simpsons reference, look it up) game. I say we send all the kids at her High School unvitations just a some Fuck You icing on their cake of hate.

  • Chris

    Just to clarify, it’s not the AHA’s event, it’s the MSSC’s event. AHA is one of several sponsors. Don’t know how much all the sponsors gave, but Green Day gave the same amount that AHA did.

  • Ricky

    it’d be nice if the other five shunned students attended as well.

  • mulletkitty

    I agree. It’s time to go all Hollywood on their asses. So what if it is red meat for the AFA. Oprah, Ellen, rock stars, stylists, MTV special… bring it on, queers and allies. Make it happen for her and all queer kids this year.

    This school is on the wrong side of history, and on the wrong side of, well, right and wrong. Make it impossible to ignore, but in a way that exposes the mean kids’ “private prom” as podunk compared to the mother of all queer proms.

  • Cam

    The only way the bigotry in those little towns can survive is if nobody brings attention to it. Thats why they kept attacking Constance for “Trying to get attention.” How much do you want to bet that if she gets a shitload of attention for this, that a bunch of those inbred bigots from her high school will be calling her and saying a bunch of B.S. like “I didn’t know that they didn’t tell you, I would have told you if I’d known…and oh, yeah, can you help me find a job now that you’ve met all those important people?” Ugh, I can just see it.

    Constance, you rick, enjoy your prom, get all the attention you want, and be a huge sucess in life. You deserve it!

  • Stephen Patterson

    Lets see a bunch of drug addicted,girlfriend beating,sex addicts sponsoring a lesbian prom. Nice. Now all they need is free beer for them (underage) and lots of safe sex toys.
    Are you kidding me?
    They sponsor it but that isn’t good enough for the gays????
    Now you want to “force” them to be at it?
    So much for freedom. I don’t think the bands are doing anything but getting a tax write off.
    Choices,choices,choices……earn a million for a concert or perform for free???? How much do I owe my agent????
    Concert it is…..
    Maybe the rest of us can sponsor the other students to have an all star concert on a cruise ship with a trip to Hawaii or Cancun. That might just be the worst thing we could do for them.

  • mulletkitty

    @Steven Patterson. I highly recommend that you watch the HBO film, “Prom Night in Mississippi.” When parents refused to support an integrated prom, and a year after the school refused yet another offer to fund a private, integrated prom, Morgan Freeman brings in a whole lotta cameras and the HBO team, and hosts a private prom, the school’s first integrated prom. In 2008, mind you.

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