Remember when you were in your 20s and you couldn’t fathom ever being 30, let alone in your 30s?
Then one day you woke up, achy and hungover from the one glass of wine you consumed at dinner the night before, and suddenly realized you were closer to 40 than you were to 20 and, instead of having a panic attack about it, you were like “That’s OK. Who wants to be 20 anyway?”
Turns out, 30 isn’t death, after all.
Now, scroll down for 30 highly relatable tweets about being gay in your 30s…
In your gay 20s, “on the apps” means Grindr/Scruff/etc. In your gay 30s, “on the apps” means GrubHub/UberEats/Postmates. And FYI you get equally pissed off when someone isn’t on them.
— Todd Masterson (@Toddmasterson) April 8, 2019
When everyone on gay twitter is talking about pop stars and you don’t know who any of them are Bc you’re in your 30s but you still wanna say something: pic.twitter.com/boSkjyCro1
— Chelsea Steiner (@ChelseaProcrast) May 12, 2018
Gay life in your 30s is trying on the new jockstrap you bought but also making yourself a hot chocolate
— X626 (@im_so_childish) February 10, 2019
— Paxton Pill (@fupaxtonpill) April 2, 2019
— ?LeeSean ?? ? (@leesean) June 22, 2018
Young gay 20 something's on Twitter: (everything is life or death)!!!!!!
My ass being mid 30s: Um figure it out if you want ?????. This is all messy lol pic.twitter.com/7GzRQx6yfl
— Fajita del Toro (@MrHippoKing) February 8, 2019
I’m a single gay men in my 30s with no friends and a cat that hates me. I think I’m succeeding at life?
— christopher james (@rapidbash) April 5, 2019
— Wonder/Woe Man (@WonderWoeMan) April 11, 2019
Gay culture is congratulating yourself on the amount of over 30s you swipe right on Chappy, even though you are yourself 35.
— David Morgan (@thisisdavid) February 5, 2019
The Valentine’s Day of a 30-year-old single gay man. pic.twitter.com/Kqo7G2lh1f
— Justin (@jus10bryant) February 14, 2019
Gays according to age:
In your 20s you’re still a boy.
Your 30s you’re a big bro.
Your 40s you become a daddy.
50s you become a boss daddy.
60+ you become a grand daddy.
I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.
— Lovely Tegan (@TeganZayne) January 9, 2018
When a 30 year old gay man calls himself a twink pic.twitter.com/zFDLaUY0Wb
— The Gay Burn Book (@SouthernHomo) September 5, 2014
Sat, alone, in my house drinking a glass of wine, eating popcorn and watching The Golden Girls. When did I turn into a 30 something gay New York man who is very much a Charlotte yet is still trying to prove he’s a Samantha.
— Leah ?? (@Leahnewman_) April 2, 2018
Gays talking to their straight friends in their 30s pic.twitter.com/452Zy1YVoe
— Calum Sherwood (@CalumSSherwood) March 22, 2019
scrolling through cute vloggers' feeds trying to figure out whether they're gay or not isn't how I expected to spend my evenings in my 30s but whatever
— morally dubious lesbian (@snorfbladt) January 15, 2019
There is no purer love than that of a 30-something gay for a female popstar who sang the soundtrack to their formative years. Undying, eternal and beyond reason. pic.twitter.com/PPsNlWfMGD
— James (@jrawson) February 23, 2019
For as much as the gay male community fetishizes youth, I gotta say: dating and sex is SO much better in your thirties.
— JP Larocque (@jplarocque) February 9, 2014
Gays: maybe 30 isn’t death
29 year old gays: pic.twitter.com/ISMOxI03aZ
— Data Usage Daddy (@davidthomvs) January 3, 2019
— Jeremy Behrens (@Jeremy_Behrens) March 10, 2019
I'm a 30 year old gay man and I've never been engaged pic.twitter.com/fYFTc09xP1
— gaydleyihlekisa (@SaintSdumo) February 13, 2019
The cruelest irony of my gay life is meeting great bf material guys when I first came out as a 20 something and taking it for granted. Only to be a 30 something and now realizing how good my options were and how terrible they are now ?????
— TJ (@hes_a_Fop) February 14, 2019
Me anytime I meet another gay man in his 30s or 40s telling me how he's resisted the pressure of the expectation of getting married.. pic.twitter.com/U0gDewMuHm
— Dude. (@InvictaPars) March 13, 2019
All of you beautiful young gay men to pick from and Tom Daley goes for someone in his late-thirties. There's a life lesson for you, boys.
— Justin Myers (@theguyliner) December 3, 2013
Ya’ll 30 something gays love calling yourselves “young”. ?you aren’t old but come on. pic.twitter.com/rkiq4mFrSW
— Last Name Hunter (@angelotommie) April 5, 2019
the 20s to mid-30s gay age brackets are Early 20s, Late 20s, and "I can't believe you're in your 30s!"
— Amy Marvin (@amyrmarv) December 1, 2018
? Chinese food
? Retin A
? put on eyeglasses
? poured myself a drink
? made myself an ice pack
? turned on RPDR on DVR
? husband (@catdaddymd) next to me
? cats nearby
The Friday night gay agenda in my 30s. pic.twitter.com/C2rfGY6vh4
— manbearcat (@manbearkitten) December 15, 2018
Im watching Book Club with Candice Bergen and Diane Keaton and it is about middle aged women lamenting over their sexual youth. So.. basically my circle of 30 something gay friends.
— darren (@dhgee_) December 1, 2018
me telling a young gay what dating in your 30s is like pic.twitter.com/YE5NzFd8LZ
— SeRiOuS gamer (@buttwife) May 24, 2018
I realize now why I seemed tedious and annoying to 30 something gays when I was a youngin because all the problems y’all talk about we still haven’t figured out and that fact alone is deeply depressing.
— Petty Mayonnaise (@ConstantFail) February 10, 2019
As a creative, gay man now in his early thirties, I’m starting to make peace with never having a six pack for Instagram, a fashionable wardrobe or indeed, ever appearing particularly cool. But I’ve got a head full of memories, a body frayed from living & a heart made for love.
— Andrew Keates (@andrewkeates) December 2, 2018
Being gay and in your 30s is wild.
— andy (@allegedlygay) January 28, 2019