4 Ways to Beat the Financial Apocalypse With Fabulousness

Watching the news last night, as president-elect Barack Obama told us that the economy faces a deficit of a trillions of dollars in the near future, we were reminded just how totally doomed we are. There’s no money, no jobs and, soon enough, we’ll all be raiding the local BDSM shop so we can cook down the leather into something digestible. (Sorry, we’ve been watching lots of “Apocalypse Week” on the History Channel.)

But just because you’re poor, doesn’t mean you can’t be stylish. Gays are nothing if not resourceful, and to help get the ball rolling, here are five belt-tightening ideas that aren’t horribly depressing.

Habituate Open Bars
While you could buy your liquor on the cheap, stick it in a flask and ask for a mixer at the bar, why go through all the embarrassment when there are plenty of bars that’ll give you booze for free? My Open Bar is a great resource for getting sauced without paying a penny, delivering a definitive weekly list of open bars and drink specials in Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, San Francisco and Miami. An email newsletter makes it easy to never again forget to drink.

Throw a Rent Party
Turn your obsessive need to socialize into a moneymaker by hosting a rent party. Tell skeptical guests that the theme of your party is “Harlem Renaissance.” The Routledge Encyclopedia of the Harlem Renaissance explains you should “clear all furniture (except for the piano) from the front rooms of the apartment, take up the rugs, replace regular light bulbs with more sensuous colored ones.” Once all that’s done, it’s time to hire some “home defense officers” (HDOs) to bounce unwelcome guests and squelch incipient brawls.” Say the $5 charge at the door is to keep the “rent party vibe” authentic.

Replace Your Starbucks with a Single-Serve Espresso Machine
Tired of handing your wallet over to that naked mermaid caffeine dealer? Be your own barista by purchasing a money-saving single-serve espresso machine. Single Serve Coffee is an amazing site in helping you choose your best fit. Your editor is the proud owner of a Krups Nescafe Dolce Gusto Single-Serve Coffee Maker and I’m sort of obsessed. It makes great tasting cappuccinos with foam, looks like an adorable robot and only cost $169. That might sound like a bit of an outlay, but with coffee costing 50 cents a cup and drinks with steamed milk costing a buck, it’ll save you money in the long run.

Make the Internet Your Sample Sale
Sure you could go to New York and pick your way through the warehouse sales, but why not let the discounts come to you? While sites like Rue La La and ideeli offer this year’s fashions, they are closed lists that you have to apply for. For our money, we like Beat My Price, which lets users find the lowest price for virtually anything sold on the internet. We found a whole bunch of Comme de Garcons stuff for (relatively) cheap!

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