Looking back 2018

PHOTOS: Queerty’s top Instagram pics of 2018

If you don’t follow @Queerty on Instagram, you’re only getting half the story. Here’s a taste of what’s been bubbling over on our feed in 2018.

Each week we feature a mix of stories from the site, photos we love, and Instagrammers we know you’ll love.

Want to get featured? Tag @Queerty and use #queerty in your posts and get on our radar!

Happy New Year!

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His & his. ?

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Peek-a-boo.

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Just beachy. ??

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Mad about this plaid! ????? @theangelinos_

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#SquadGoals. ?

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“I’m so very lucky to have gay moms who are proud of their gay son for his gay show. And for anything else he does as long as he works hard at it and it makes him happy. They are my heroes. This picture was at a screening of Matt & Dan at the Castro in San Francisco on my birthday last year (and also gay pride this last year) which was such an incredible thing to share with them. You see, Maud (left mom) joined the beginning of San Francisco’s Gay Women’s Liberation movement in 1970 – she wrote articles in the Stanford Daily about being gay, toured high schools, and started Stanford’s gay student union. At a time when police were raiding gay bars regularly. I remember once when we were in New York with my ex-boyfriend…we were holding hands in public. She got emotional and told me it was still hard for her to believe the changes she was starting to see in her lifetime that this show of affection was even possible. I was much younger…but I felt the same way. I was closeted into my 20’s. Despite having utterly supportive family – I couldn’t admit it to myself – I feared if I I did I would have to be in the closet until my late 30’s like the journey my (other) mom did – have kids in a Hetero marriage – and then get divorced and come out then. There were just no other family models available to gay people at that time. It felt like an endless tunnel in front of me. It’s not that I knew I was gay but was afraid to tell people. It’s that I was afraid I was gay – and deeply in denial. I never saw gay couples in public. And on TV they portrayed as freaks/pedophiles at worst and as stereotyped hairdressers at best. When she said that to me – holding hands in public still made me very nervous. In fact it still does sometimes. And frankly, so does putting out this show. But we do it anyway – because carving out our own path is what gay people do. I learned that from these incredible women. PS a big lesbian THANK YOU to everyone who has helped us so far in trying to make this show – my moms thank you. ?????” – Daniel Vincent Gordh, @manboynice

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Camping, but make it fashion. ? @rakeemc

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Only fan! ? @abearnamedtroy

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“A year ago when we posted this pic, someone made the presumptive comment “Wow! They’re in a monogamous relationship. Strange for gay men.” The commenter himself was gay. • We politely pointed out to him that the only facts about our relationship anyone can gather from this one picture is that we’re in the same room, we celebrate holidays, and are kissing. Whether we’re monogamous, monogam-ish, open, polyamorous, celibate or even asexual is not discernible, nor is it his business. We told him his comment not only insults gay men, but anyone out there who chooses a form of non-monogamy for their relationship. His response? “that’s why gay men can’t have real relationships, because they’re all sluts and can’t commit to one person.” • His comments illustrate a problem within gay culture: the need some gays have to adhere to heteronormative ideals and shun those that don’t. We’re all socialized to believe certain things about love, relationships and sex. We’re told that some relationships are “good,” “normal,” and “acceptable,” while others are deviant and unnatural. Heteronormativity goes further and assumes that queer people want to be just like straight people. It also rewards the gays who ‘mimic’ heteronormative standards. And why is this a “goal” to live up to? Are heterosexual, ‘monogamous’ relationships the gold standard of success? • This way of thinking also discriminates against folks in the sex industry, or who are into BDSM, have premarital or extramarital sex or sex for non-reproductive purposes, cross-generational partners, people who use sex toys… basically, everyone who has a sex life that heteronormative society considers “weird” or abnormal. It says only one way is “right,” and illegitimizes all others. • Bottom line: no relationship is the same or perfect, but all are valid as long as it works for the ones in them. The rules that work for one do not automatically work for another…but one sure way to fail at ANY type of relationship is to enter into it with rigid rules and bad communication and expect it not to crumble under pressure. Love is love, and everyone is free to find it on their own terms.” – @rick_and_the_griffopotamus

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