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bad intel

5 Reasons Why the Saddam Hussein Gay Kiddie Porn Sex Tape Never Happened

By Daniel Villarreal May 25, 2010 at 8:56pm · Updated on February 13, 2011
So apparently one of the CIA’s big plans for turning Iraq against Saddam was to create a fake sex tape of him sodomizing a teenage boy. A former agency officer called the idea “patently ridiculous” adding that the people who came up with the idea “didn’t understand the cultural nuances of the region” — namely that Iraqis wouldn’t care — so instead we just bombed the hell out of the place. But the truth of the matter is that according to the officer we just didn’t have enough money and smarts to carry out the project (because y’know sex tapes have such high production value). We probably could have saved the CIA by asking five crucial questions that would have exposed the flawed thinking behind their cockamamey idea before they spent the dollars and manhours.
Wait, the CIA makes porn?
Who knew our tax dollars funded amateur kiddie porn? Of course, this is the organization that once spiked the baguettes of an entire French village with LSD, so nothing should surprise us. But considering creating a Saddam sex tape also seems incredibly homophobic (and offensive to NAMBLA members), especially since it conflates pedophilia and gay sex in the Catholic way. One commenter said “if violent religious zealots can be undermined by taking advantage of their own bigoted, throwback beliefs, then I think it should be done.” But remember, Iraq already has anti-gay death squads killing homos on the streets. The CIA’s plot would’ve made matters worse.
Who would have played Saddam?
Israeli actor Yigal Naor played Saddam Hussein in the BBC and HBO’s docudrama House of Saddam, but who would the CIA have gotten to play Saddam in real life? It couldn’t have been a recognizable actor or even a very attractive one since the real-life Saddam was kinda old and paunchy—they would have needed a guy with believable stretch marks and cellulite to plow some boyhole. Of course, one of the former CIA officials said that the sex tape “would look like it was taken by a hidden camera, very grainy, like it was a secret videotaping,” so finding an exact body double might not have been an issue. The bigger issue might have been who to get to play the teenage victim. It’s detestable to think that for the sake of authenticity, the CIA might have sexually exploited an underage child from the streets of Iraq (maybe an Iraqi Bacha Bazi?), making him a target long after their dumb plot failed. But we hear Dakota Fanning is still up for this sort of thing.
Would anyone in the Middle East have believed the tape to be real? Or even cared?
Saddam Hussein rose to power by imprisoning, torturing, and murdering thousands of his own countrymen. He used chemical weapons against the Kurdish people living in Northern Iraq, murdering about 5,000 of them and subjecting the others to blindness, vomiting, blisters, convulsions, and asphyxiation. He also bulldozed the villages of Shiites who dared rise up against him. So the CIA thought some kiddie porn tape was gonna be what finally turned Iraqis against their despotic ruler? Puh-leaze.
Didn’t the U.S. make its own sex tapes of Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib?
Some of our proud soldiers basically turned the prison into an gay S&M porn studio by tying men up in their underwear, having them simulate gay sex acts together, and forcing them to masturbate in front of one another. What could have been a hot setup for a Raging Stallions DVD ended up being used to torture men by violating their Islamic beliefs. I know the CIA couldn’t give a fuck about gay people or gay soldiers, but using same-sex sex (albeit pedophilic) as a way to humiliate a political leader only further highlights the homophobic Western military culture that breeds such attitudes. Remember: Once our gay antics at Abu Ghraib came to light, it only made the rest of the world really pissed off at us acting like homophobic fratboys.
Aren’t sex tapes uniquely American?
Just thinking about Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee, Dustin Lance Black, Eric Dane, Tanya Harding, Paris Hilton, and Kim Kardashian (to name a few) reminds us that — with the exception of British flake Peaches Geldof — sex tapes really are an American phenomenon. Or at least a Western one. And while celebrity sex tapes have of course surfaced in Asia and other parts of the world, this is Saddam Hussein, not Carrie Prejean. The idea that a sex tape would somehow scandalize and take down an already hated leader seems hopelessly American.

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17 Comments*

  • Ted C.

    If the army had more understanding of local culture, the video would have been of Saddam Hussein having sex with a grown man. That’s far more shocking to Arabs than having sex with a 16-year-old boy.

  • concernedcitizen

    Obviously the bigger problem is the overwhelming homogenous composition of the military in particular higher level general schedule grade positions. It allows for this kind of linear thinking that is negligent of the inherent consequences.
    This isn’t to say simple the problem is that DADT should be repealed although it most certainly should be, but that their need to be more “voices” in higher level position be it through the representation of women, minorities and miscellaneous others who could bring alternate ideas and add to the discussion within high ranking military officials.
    Now let me attempt to speak with CRYSTALLINE clarity my attack is not on WHITE MALES but on homogeneity of ANY group… I would have the same criticism of an all black plutocracy or all GAY my point is there should always be a plethora of viewpoints this usually (not always) leads to the best solution or at least a situation in which more viewpoints are considered!!!!

  • Speck

    Didn’t they do the same thing after Yassar Arafat’s death? Spread rumors that he died of AIDS, etc.

  • Henry Holland

    Maybe the CIA should have thought about what they were unleashing in all the years they supported Sa-damn/helped him stay in power until he got inconvenient. Donald Rumsfeld wasn’t photographed shaking his hand because he ran in to Sa-damn in a restaurant.

  • head

    sex with a teenager is not pedophilia.

  • Donkeytrot69

    @head: How about with a thirTEEN or foruTEEN year old? They’re TEENagers.

  • wannabegay2

    remember the sultans? they had sex with kids all the time and it was OK. so if a leader like saddam would do it, it would probably seen as an instrument of power.

    and: queerty, who told you saddam was hated in iraq? last time i checked people wanted the americans out of their country and a new saddam. imagine this: you have a civilized country, with universities, restaurants, shops, highways and wealth… all of a sudden this army comes and starting the next day there’s a bombing every day. hmm… let’s see – what do i choose?

  • ossurworld

    Ah, your government at work. I feel safer now.

  • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

    If you remember a thread a few weeks ago, in many of these “cultures” it is perfectley acceptable for a grown man to diddle a boy. Their so called “parents” actually barter the kids for goods. The Sadam Sodomy Series may have actually bolstered his standing………………….

  • Robert, NYC

    This only proves that homophobia is rampant in the CIA using the gay angle to smear a foreign leader, rogue or otherwise. Why would it think the middle east would have reacted to it, wasn’t Mohammed a pedophile?

    No 6, Donkeytrot69….pedophilia is with pre-pubescent children,usually under 11, 11-14 year olds is termed as hebephilia (pubescent), 15 and up into adulthood is ephebophilia (post pubescent).

  • Robert, NYC

    This only proves that homophobia is rampant in the CIA using the gay angle to smear a foreign leader, rogue or otherwise. Why would it think the middle east would have reacted to it, wasn’t Mohammed a pedophile?

    No 6, Donkeytrot69….pedophilia is with pre-pubescent children,usually under 11, 11-14 year olds is termed as hebephilia (pubescent), 15 to 19 is ephebophilia (post pubescent).

  • PopSnap

    Uh, am I the only one who is a bit concerned about the CIA- our major international spying arm- being ready & willing to have somebody rape a boy for the sake of an intelligence operation?

    Please someone tell me I’m not the only one who is disturbed by this? Please, human race?

  • Brian

    @PopSnap: That certainly was the first thing that came to my mind when reading the story, and was surprised as I scrolled through the comments that this didn’t seem to be an issue for anyone. The Washington Post blog didn’t mention this as an issue either, just the cost of producing the tape and the supposed “cultural differences” in the Middle East as reasons it didn’t go ahead. Very strange.

  • Menlo

    Instead, they spent all their resources coming up with that wacky mobile germ warfare lab story. Those crazy kids.

  • NickadooLA

    @Ted C.: If the army wasn’t discharging gay interpreters, it may’ve understood the culture a little more. But then I assume that’s what you were already implying with your post. heh

  • Leroy

    @PopSnap & @Brian: Honestly I don’t think most people processed the story that much to even think about it in that manner. It was the first thing that popped into my mind. I mean how were they think about going through with it? Having some guy rape a child or have sex with a eighteen/nineteen year old who still looks like a child? At the end of the day it doesn’t matter how they were going to carryout this act, too even entertain this idea I find sick.

  • ossurworld

    The CIA should have made a video showing Saddam eating ham products.

Comments are closed.

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