oracles

5 Things I Want Paul The Psychic Octopus to Predict

He scored 100 percent with his World Cup predictions, correctly guessing eight out of eight of the final games. But what else can Paul The Octopus, who calls a German aquarium home, be used for?

Before he officially retires, I want to see glass blocks put in Paul’s tank that’ll show whether:

• Argentina will legalize same-sex marriage
• The Justice Department will appeal Boston’s DOMA ruling
• Judge Vaughn Walker will strike down Prop 8
• Congress will repeal DADT by Christmas
• Rep. Aaron Schock has ever, even once, played for our team

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9 Comments

  • Mike L.

    Seems like a very reasonable request :)

  • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

    In the “gee what a suprise file”, it seems muslim clerics have issued a fatwa against an octoups for “assumning god like declarations”……………

  • CHIP1218

    They also issued a fatwa against those vuvuzelas, at least against the use of them in their own countries.

  • Michael in Toronto

    • The Republicans will be back in power (God forbid)

  • tjr101

    Will Sarah Palin be the next president? So I can make the most of the last days of freedom from theocratic authority.

  • JohnnyTrue

    I have one – did my ex cheat on me like I suspected? I don’t care if it was 8 years ago, I need to know (btw – joking – sorta).

  • Sceth

    @JohnnyTrue: You’ll be a happier man if you let it go.

  • Jeffreee

    Here’s a good one: when & where was I born?

    Ok: that’s two. I’m greedy like that
    :-D

  • Syl

    What if the answers aren’t good? Paul doesn’t control the future, he just tells it like it is.

Comments are closed.