These 5 unintentionally homoerotic pro baseball moments will leave your dugout flooded

The Houston Astros face off against the Philadelphia Phillies Friday night in game one of the World Series, but you don’t need to be a baseball fan to appreciate this trip around the bases.

And if you are, then we hope this amounts to a grand slam in the bottom of the ninth to win the game.

So dust off those cleats, warm up your pitching arm (or catching hand, we’re not here to make assumptions) and root, root, root for the homo team, because these five moments in baseball all deserve an instant replay.

Who’s the new guy?!

Related: US Bobsled team finds new beginnings, but the thirsty “Bob-Spread” is forever

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Was it only last month that bodybuilder Naotaka Yokokawa ditched his jersey to throw out the first pitch at a game between the Orix Buffaloes and the Fukuoka SoftBank Hawk? My, how time flies–certainly faster than his pitch, which didn’t quite make it to home base.

But that hardly mattered. As the Village People’s “Macho Man” blared through the stadium, Yokokawa definitely gave the crowd reason to cheer.

Put your back into it

It’s a well-documented fact that baseball pants are ideal for showing off a player’s assets, but it’s rare to see those assets perform at the very highest level of athletic achievement.

During an Oakland A’s vs. Tampa Bay Rays game earlier this year, catcher Sean Murphy showcased this assleticism at its finest.

Murphy was up to bat when a pitch veered more than a little off target. He popped out his derrière with surgical precision to bump the ball and score a free base.

The high-speed collision went viral, inspiring some creative edits and, bizarrely, a poem:

I wrote a poem about this pitch called 99mph Assball ⚾🥵 pic.twitter.com/tu6CDyzAKV

— bradypoems (@bradypoems) April 12, 2022

Climate control

During a particularly sweaty game in Los Angeles in 2020, with temperatures nearing 100 degrees, Dodgers pitcher Clayton Crenshaw did what he could to stay comfortable. With no fans in the stadium (thanks Covid), perhaps he was feeling a bit more “business casual” than normal.

The TV cameras were still there, of course, and captured him “serving chest with a count of two balls and no strikes.”

Related: A Phillies locker room ritual has gay fans screaming

Hold me closer

While battling it out with the Los Angeles Dodgers in 2018, Atlanta Braves players Ronald Acuña Jr. and Ozzie Albies took a breather off the field, sharing an adorable cuddle and tender head caress.

And appealing as the embrace may be to queer fans, it’s important to note that there’s absolutely nothing inherently gay about two men showing physical affection.

Sometimes we all just need to be held!

Victory dance

Dodgers outfielder Enrique “Kike” Hernández was on fire during the fifth game of the 2017 National League Championship Series. He hit three home runs, including a grand slam, to drive in 7 runs and tie the record for most RBI in a postseason game, helping send the Dodgers to the World Series for the first time since 1988.

It only makes sense he’d have some serious steam to burn off after the game, and burn it he did, as evidenced by this booty-shaking locker room realness.