Breaststroke Of Genius: Queerty’s 7 Swimsuit Do’s And Don’ts

The Mid-Thigh Trunk


Do: wear if you’re “average” height, i.e. somewhere between pocket gay and giant. Really, you can’t go wrong with a mid-thigh trunk, it’s like the male swimsuit version of the little black dress.

Z Zegna - Runway - Spring 09 MBFW

Don’t:  however, try to pass it off at a cocktail party — you know how the children are.


Try: Brioni Mid-Length Houndstooth Check Swim Shorts, $395, Mr. Porter

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  • sanfranca1

    (#5) Brioni Mid-Length Houndstooth Check Swim Shorts, $395. Seriously…$395??? Ridiculous.

  • PatrickStone

    Well I have to say I was very happy to see slide number 7 – wear whatever the hell you want with confidence!! Matching body types to required swimwear styles is demeaning and downright stupid. If you don’t like it, don’t wear it….

  • kurt_t

    Caftan it is.

  • Shadeaux

    Love #7

  • Bozen

    The writer of this article is an idiot. The only people who have the money for $50-plus bathing suits are either inherently selfish or far-removed from today’s working class. In either case, both are off putting.

  • MikeE

    @Derek Williams: that’s so small it’s no longer even a speedo.. it’s just a spe

  • demetri.last

    Hot, but Lame! I was hoping to see the guy in the lime green thong bikini!

  • BiL

    I love how an advertisement for men’s swim wear is passed off as an actual news article.

  • Dixie Rect

    At this point in life, if you don’t know what looks good on you, than you are completely hopeless.

  • TinoTurner

    My $7 regular, plain navy blue Target bathing suit turns heads…

  • hotshot70

    You can buy decent swimsuits for low prices. The main idea is you are to SWIM in it. I hate these vain men and women who will spend big $$$ in a suit, then get angry if someone splashes them! Better deal, go to a nude beach or your own private area and be naked!


    The Speedo! for sure. Come sit on my face HOMIE: AdamHomo


    Fourteen for sure!!. AdamHomo

  • Vince Smetana

    Bucket of chicken? Really?

  • tdx3fan

    @Bozen: I am more than capable of dropping that money on a bathing suit if I really wanted to. I have an amazing husband, and I have no actual bills, so every cent I do make goes directly to what I want, and I also have a credit card with a high limit that he pays the bill on. However, I would never be able to bring myself to actually drop that coin on fabric. I can think of such better uses for that money, and I would much rather buy a $20 bathing suit and give $300+ to charity!

  • Bozen

    @tdx3fan: You just reinforced my point(s). Thanks!

  • Stache1

    @tdx3fan: Ahhhh…daddies little princess.

Comments are closed.