WHO’S ON THERE?: Lonely masturbators without heads.
SECONDS UNTIL FIRST COCK: 0.1 second
HOW MANY SECONDS IT TOOK FOR SOMEONE TO ‘NEXT’ ME: Approximately 5 seconds until they figured out that I wasn’t masturbating.
HOW MANY SECONDS IT TOOK ME TO ‘NEXT’ SOMEONE ELSE: Approximately 5 seconds after I realized that I wanted to see someone more attractive masturbating.
IS THE DESIGN SEXY?: It looks like a website designed in 1990. Times New Roman, anyone? Also, it reloaded the same fat guy in briefs about 5 times for me in under a minute.
LESSON LEARNED: Headless masturbators are much sexier on Craigslist where they’ve at least mentioned what horrible things they’d like you to do to them.