CYBERSEX

8 Gay ChatRoulette Knock-Offs: Glory Holes of the Internet

GAYCITI.COM

WHO’S ON THERE?: No one at all.

SECONDS UNTIL FIRST COCK: No one equals no cock.

HOW MANY SECONDS IT TOOK FOR SOMEONE TO ‘NEXT’ ME: It literally took no time at all.

HOW MANY SECONDS IT TOOK ME TO ‘NEXT’ SOMEONE ELSE: I nexted my friend sitting beside me by turning and speaking to his cat.

IS THE DESIGN SEXY?: The interface is almost identical to WooHim.com, but the name city spelled with an “i” reminded me of that skeezy twink porn site, CitiBoyz. Gayciti also proudly boasts, “Tired of Picking Your Own Date? Meet a Total Stranger with a Camera!” The copywriter on this site needs badly to be fired. He craves termination, actually.

LESSON LEARNED: The front page shows two hunky models who would never actually use the site. It’s kinda like when you see a muscular man on a package of briefs and think, “Wow, he’s much hotter than I am. I shouldn’t even be using this product.” Then you realize that just like the image of the Big Mac on the McDonald’s menu, the picture’s just an ideal and the actuality will in no way resemble it. You and other frumpy losers in their store-bought underwear belong here.