A New Ugandan Parliament Will Help Eradicate Those Pesky Gays!

Last week, the Ugandan parliament parliament adjourned without voting on their ingenious “Kill the Gays” bill which would stamp out Western-imported homosexuality by imprisoning anyone who acts gay, looks gay, sounds gay, anyone who helps a gay person do anything (even tie their shoes), and anyone who even thinks about being gay for even a millisecond.

But don’t worry! Starting today the new parliament will have the bill on their agenda along with some other great bills like one that allows women to divorce men for having small wieners and another that makes rioting by hungry, oppressed people illegal! Oh Uganda… is there anything you can’t do?