Raising My Rainbow

A Tangled Mess: How To Tell Santa Your Possibly Gay 3-Year-Old Wants A Doll For Christmas

C.J. and his soulmate, Tangled‘s Rapunzel. Christmas Day 2010

Raising My Rainbow is written by the mother of a slightly effeminate, possibly gay, totally fabulous son. She’s chronicling their journey here.

My three-year-old son C.J. climbed onto Santa’s lap nervously twiddling his fingers. It was the moment he had been anticipating for weeks. “What do you want for Christmas little boy,” the Fat Man asked.

Disney’s Tangled Rapunzel Braiding Friends Hair Braider,” my son said with a heavy lisp and the speed of an auctioneer.

Santa looked to me for help. “Disney’s Tangled Rapunzel Braiding Friends Hair Braider,” I offered. Insert strange look from Santa in my direction. Insert strange look from Santa in my son’s direction.

“What else do you want,” asked The Fat Man, hoping for a more gender-appropriate answer.

“Dat’s it. Just Tangled.”

The wannabe elf photographer snickered at me. I didn’t like the tone of her snicker.

Now, please understand how truly fabulous the Disney’s Tangled Rapunzel Braiding Friends Hair Braider is (even if it is a mouthful).

Rapunzel can take on any adventure in the kingdom, but when the star of Tangled tries to braid her hair, she needs some help from her friends! Rapunzel wears a beautiful, glittering dress with ribbon laces running up the front. The dress is accented by puffed sleeves and a sweet floral print. Rapunzel is accompanied by 3 cute animal friends: a raccoon, a rabbit and a squirrel. Just snap in a barrette, give a section of hair to each animal friend and turn the handle. Wow – it really braids! Rapunzel won’t need to wait for the prince to rescue her!

Flash forward 10 days to Christmas morning and you might remember hearing the highly-audible squeals of delight from my son as he unwrapped the Disney’s Tangled Rapunzel Braiding Friends Hair Braider; which has rarely left his proud grip in the days since.

Some people who got wind of C.J.’s Christmas wish list advised against getting him “girl toys.” I considered it; for like one second. They kept asking me what I was going to do. Like C.J. wanting only “girls toys” for Christmas was the biggest catastrophe since the inn having no room. Christmas is for the children. (Okay, I know, it’s really for the birth of Christ the Son of God. But, besides that, it’s for the children.) Christmas is for getting a child the toy he or she has been dreaming about from the page of the toy catalogue that is falling apart from wear. That’s how I was raised and that’s how I’m raising my children.

Which meant that this year, Christmas (for C.J.) was about the Disney’s Tangled Rapunzel Braiding Friends Hair Braider. I offer no apologies; not even to the old hag in the mall who shook her head in disgust when she spotted C.J. dancing in the food court with his Tangled doll to Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok.” Oh yeah, her and The Fat Man can suck it.

Rapunzel’s Updo, courtesy of C.J.

My only regret about giving C.J. the Disney’s Tangled Rapunzel Braiding Friends Hair Braider? The 12-inch hair turns into an enormous rat’s nest at least once a day. Which evokes tears and pleads for me to “make her back to pretty.” Which usually requires more braids than Bo Derek sported in “10.” Other than that, C.J.’s dad and I know that we gave him the best gifts of his life: Rapunzel and the freedom to be who he was made to be.

My gift to myself this Christmas is time throughout 2011 to journal here about the adventures in raising a slightly effeminate, possibly gay, totally fabulous son.

Three main reasons for this blog:

1.) For myself, to get my feelings out, share my journey and scrapbook with words.
2.) For any other person in a situation similar to mine, raising a slightly effeminate, possibly gay child. There have to be more of us out there, right? Right?!
3.) For the gays. I love you like Gaga and need your advice. When I ask a question, answer me, please.

So, I’m giving it year. I hope you’ll do the same.

Not changing him, just loving him…


Following is the cast of characters featured in Raising My Rainbow, a blog about the adventures in raising a slightly effeminate, possibly gay, totally fabulous son.


The most enchanting child you will ever meet with an insane knack for art and color, interior design and dance. His passions include Barbie, Disney Princesses, Strawberry Shortcake and women’s hair and shoes. Paula Deen holds a special place in his heart.

C.J.’s Mom (Me, the blogger)

A feisty, sassy girl-woman trying to have it all and usually feeling like she is failing miserably while all those around her are none-the-wiser. She works part-time as a business consultant, full-time as a mother and overtime as a walking panic attack.

C.J.’s Dad

A police officer and recovering bully with his 15-year chip for bully sobriety; he secretly fears that karma won’t be a bitch to himself, but to his look-alike son. He’s an Irishman with a heart of gold hidden underneath his tough-guy façade and ever-present scowl.

C.J.’s Brother

Seven going on 30, he’s wise, kind and the best big brother a younger sibling could ask for. Embarrassed by nothing, except when C.J. acts like a girl.

Uncle Uncle

A creature from a sitcom who is bigger than life and loved by all. One of the most important people involved in the raising of C.J. because of his homosexuality. If it takes a village to raise a child, Uncle Uncle is the court jester, mayor, therapist, stylist and official storyteller.

Nana Grab Bags

The maternal grandmother who was created by God to spoil grandchildren. She’s allergic to harsh words and unhappiness and carries an oversized Target purse filled with candy, toys, hugs and zany theories.


The maternal grandfather who is a devout born-again Christian and macho Mexican-American. Enough said.

Grandma and Grandpa Colorado

The paternal grandparents who are thousands of miles away. A hunting, drinking, fishing, old-fashioned duo that are waiting for the day when C.J. grows out of “this phase.”