Who wears short shorts?
Gays wear short shorts!
With the weather warming up, it’s time to dust off your favorite 5-inch inseams and show off those thicc thighs. As we’ve covered previously, gays are all about the legs: a 2021 survey of gay men found that 37 percent of respondents prefer a bigger lower body, and 48 percent like to see an athletic upper body paired with a strong butt.
Over the weekend, a Twitter user posted a handy reminder guide about which shorts are acceptable, and which ones aren’t.
For whatever reason, there’s a stigma around wearing short shorts in toxic pockets of the heterosexual community. Somewhere along the line, straight men got the idea that covering their legs in cloth is masculine, and actually showing off their bodies is not (assuming they have something to show). The end result: parades of guys walking around in baggy cargos like they’re Fred Durst.
Fortunately, there are some straights who are trying to break this troubling trend. Fashion writer Ralph Jones penned a defense of short shorts, in which he encourages men to “reclaim their bodies and their feelings about them.”
Of course, the idea that short shorts aren’t masculine is a uniquely American phenomenon. American popular culture is puritanical, and it’s drilled into the heads of young men that wearing anything besides board shorts is embarrassing. European men, who haven’t been indoctrinated with these noxious beliefs, are much more comfortable displaying their glutes to the world.
It wasn’t always this way. As multiple tweeters pointed out (with photos, thankfully), American men of all sexual orientations used to bust out their legs in public.
Great minds think alike 😌 https://t.co/dx0OcuHzmC
— ᴇᴅᴇɴ (@edengemini) April 23, 2023
Long ago, we established that real men wear speedos. Anybody who doubts that should take a visit this summer to Provincetown, Fire Island and other gay haunts. Thicc thighs are all over the place on Boy Beach, for example.
Nobody would doubt that any of these guys are “real men,” right? Presumably, they all rock speedos during the summertime, and not bathing suits that resemble capris.
Short shorts exude confidence, whether they’re worn at the gym or around town. The male body is beautiful, and should be treated as much.
As gays, we know how to celebrate ourselves. It’s about time that everybody else followed suit. Let’s make this the summer of sexy legs!
Scroll down for some hot leg shots…
I’m already on it pic.twitter.com/2VfktX5rRr
— tyler (@TylerAMoser) April 23, 2023
yup! pic.twitter.com/8mxfG4QnS0
— liam (@timewontf1y) April 23, 2023
Shirtless Climber
What is good will prevail in the long run.
correctio
take your shirt off!!
andrewl
I love shorty shorts. I certainly wore them growing up in the 70’s and 80’s. I admire seeing men’s thighs and legs. However, now that I am in my late 50’s, the 7inch length works better on me. Alas time and tide stops for no one.
Openminded
I dress to suit myself, and at my age, longer inseam suits me better. NO shorts can make your legs look sexy if you don’t have sexy legs. IF you are dressing for my benefit and have sexy legs, then don’t dress at all. Queers have been fighting for decades to do things the way we want to, so I don’t think it’s helpful to try to tell us how we have to dress. To each his own, fashion be damned.
greekboy
Shorter shorts dont work for me…in spite of my best efforts my legs are are so skinny they should be sued for nonsupport.
powersthatbe
How about wear whatever the f you want? The end.
Ronbo
But then retail sales will slump and we’ll be thrown back into a recession. s/ If Amazon makes billions while we all get a little poorer, at least we’ll look good this next season. And. we’ll be out of fashion this fall and have to throw out these short shorts and… buy more from Amazon. Then Bezos gets richer and we only get a little poorer. But look… at least Queerty can help Jeff Bezos and our fashion masters. Gays know that while our spending power shrinks, at least our owners are making MORE money off us.
Queerty hopes we berate those who choose to just roll up or tuck under their current shorts. Queerty has an editorial staff working on upping the pressure to eliminate safety pins and rolling technology.
ridgelineranger
My husband and I (both in our late 50’s) were on a beach vacation, thought it would be nice to get a tan on our upper thighs. We purchased very short boxer style shorts, hurried back to our hotel room to change and hit the beach. Stripping down and pulling up our new shorts, took one look at ourselves in the full length mirror and we both said simultaneously….”Oh hell no”!
Openminded
I can relate to that.
NateOcean
I’m in my mid-60s.
Gravity and age have taken it’s toll.
If I were to wear short-shorts, I’d be “dragging one’s yam sack thru the brambles” so to speak.