looking respectfully

Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Jonathan Majors flex major muscle in sexy photoshoot & everyone is losing it

They say “they don’t make movie stars anymore,” but the cover of Vanity Fair‘s annual “Hollywood Issue” laughs in the face of the assertion, featuring 12 of the buzziest, most sought-after actors working today.

The glossy spread is a “who’s who” of the names you need to know, including everyone from jill-of-all-trades (and Queerties “Badass” nominee) Keke Palmer to nonbinary crush Emma Corrin.

The feature is also heavy on heartthrobs, with muscle-bearing photoshoots and eye-popping videos that feel designed to send Twitter into overdrive.

And, guess what? It worked!

For instance, you simply can’t open the app today without seeing this ab-forward photo of Aaron Taylor-Johnson accompanied by a deeply thirsty comment that we probably can’t print here:

Um… where were we?

In his interview, the chiseled English actor touches on all the big things he has ahead—including the rumors that he’s the favorite to be the next James Bond (sorry Luke Evans).

But the profile’s highlight is a video in which Vanity Fair asks its cover stars to show off their “late-night party tricks,” and Taylor-Johnson’s is a doozy: He does a freestanding backflip somersault in a black tank top and some tight pants he admits aren’t suited to this type of activity.

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Just as he’s stretching and saying, “these really aren’t the pants you really wanna be doing [backflips] in,” the cheeky camera operator zooms in on his glutes and lets the cheeks do the talking.

No one’s playing it cool:

And that’s not all. Jonathan Majors—who’s been on a roll with photoshoots that’ll make you sweat—is featured, too, and he’s got those legendary biceps on full display.

Vanity Fair knows exactly what they’re doing here, teasing with a slo-mo zoom on the Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania star’s back. Frankly, it’s rude for them to do this to us!!!

Twitter is—to put it mildly—down bad this week.

But wait, there’s more!: The Bear and Shameless star Jeremy Allen White is there, and he’s also in a very revealing tank top (apparently, that was the theme of the entire photoshoot?)—and his happens to be see-through.

We are not okay!

For his party trick, White shows us how to open up a bottle of beer with a lighter—a move he confesses was a little more impressive when he was 15.

But, with all due respect, Jeremy, we have no idea what else you were saying because…

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And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! We haven’t even mentioned the dashing Regé-Jean Page, or the sultry artists formerly known as Elvis, Austin Butler. It’s just too much to take in!

In short, we wish Vanity Fair would’ve given us a head’s up so we could’ve taken the day off for this!

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