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Actor Ronen Rubinstein currently stars as gay firefighter T.K. Strand in Ryan Murphy‘s series 9-1-1: Lone Star. Back in April, he came out as bisexual in an interview with Variety.
“I fully identify as bisexual,” he said at the time. “I literally just got goosebumps saying that. It feels so good to talk about it, it feels so good to finally be comfortable with it.”
Now, in an exclusive interview with People, the 27-year-old is talking about how his girlfriend, actress Jessica Parker Kennedy, reacted to the news and the way coming out has helped to strengthen their relationship.
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Rubinstein says he revealed his sexuality to Kennedy during the first season of 9-1-1: Lone Star after he filmed a love scene with his co-star/on-screen boyfriend Rafael Silva.
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While watching the scene together, Rubinstein says Kennedy just sort of figured it out. She turned to him and asked, “Is there something we should talk about?”
“I said, ‘Yes,'” he recalls. “It was the most supportive kick in the ass [to come out]. Sometimes it can be a lot to lay that onto your partner. It’s not the easiest transition, but she’s handled it beautifully and respectfully. Her support was all I needed.”
He adds, “She keeps me grounded, and she keeps me here in the moment. With her, it’s just been a beautiful next chapter in our relationship. She’s my rock. I truly understand what that means now.”
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Speaking to ET Canada last week, Rubinstein said his coming out was inspired “in almost every way” by his role on the hit Fox series, which was just renewed for a third season.
“It was a beautiful mixture of playing T.K. and the safe, welcome, inclusive environment I was in,” he explains. “And then the fans. The last kick in the ass for me to be brave was the fans.”
And, of course, his super supportive girlfriend.
“She’s my everything,” Rubinstein tells People. “She’s been my support system from day one. I can talk to her about stuff that I can’t talk to anybody else.”
Graham Gremore is the Features Editor and a Staff Writer at Queerty. Follow him on Twitter @grahamgremore.
Godabed
more stories like this please, thank you
Prinny
Meh.Can we get stories about actual same sex attracted men and women
cassiew
That’s… what this story is about. Did you not catch he’s bi?
RyanMBecker
Ugh, biphobia rears its ugly envious head…
Prinny
cassiew he’s in a relationship with a woman
RyanMBecker cry me a river over a poor hetero male like him
Bosch
Discriminating against a bisexual because he’s bisexual? You’re worse than straight people.
thisrighthere
he IS same-sex attracted, hence the whole ‘coming out’ bit
a little empathy?
RyanMBecker
He’s so dang pretty…
Mack
That he is.
humble charlie
Is she biting down on his ear?
She seems like a really nice girl. I hope he’s telling her the truth.
jal
Equating bisexuality with lying and cheating is biphobic. Bisexual and pansexual people aren’t any more likely to lie or cheat than monosexuals.
thisrighthere
you should worry if he didn’t come out
Tx7791
Fan of this guy….he really comes across as genuine.
ptb2016
She’s my everything he says, except of course she doesn’t have a dick, so how’s that work when he wants some?
BoomerMyles
True dat. How can he claim to be bi without wanting to get some D.
Jake123
Pegging.
Donston
Everyone has their own dimensions, struggles, motivations, journeys and their own reasons for identifying as whatever.
Who says he likes bottoming? Who says that he’s into guys because of dick (there are dudes fvcking trans dudes or butch women and claiming to be “gay”)? Who says that they even have a conventionally monogamous relationship?
He may eventually have a same-sex commitment, may even eventually embrace being seen as “gay”. Maybe not. Who knows? It’s his life and he’s gonna live it how he wishes. Whatever.
Centrism
@Donston The ‘who cares’ answer is such a cope out. People are trying to change definitions for no freakin’ reason. If you’re a man who screws females and likes it, you’re not gay. Nut jobs who try to claim otherwise are spouting trans talking points. Being gay has always been defined as same-SEX attracted.
The LGBT community needs to make friggin sense if it wants to be taken seriously and not change definitions randomly for bizarre and self-interested reasons.
Donston
Yay! Transphobia in “Pride” month and claiming everyone who doesn’t see things your way is crazy!
The actual point of my post was to express that liking it up the ass or not doesn’t have a ton to do with being into dudes or having overall same-sex preferences. Everyone still makes everything about sex and sexual behaviors. Which is partly why there’s still so much manipulation and why these identities (or rather the way people use them) have become more problematic.
Centrism
@Donston You’re very concerned about transphobia, but are you ever concerned that trans people are being homophobic? Because many of them are and people like you enable it.
Donston
Anybody can be hateful or ignorant or problematic, including trans people. Some trans people are homophobic, anti-gay, misogynistic, misandrist, and/or too caught up in trying to force everyone to see gender the way they do and too caught up in validation. On the other hand, there are homosexual, bisexual, “gay” identifying folks who are transphobic, anti-gay, homophobic, misogynistic, misandrist, and/or obsessed with validation and public perception.
There are messed up people everywhere. Your response was just an unnecessary one and didn’t really have a ton with to do with the point I was making
Centrism
What I said was true and you know it. You’re so obsessed with complicating every issue regarding sexuality because your sexuality is messed up and even you can’t make sense of it, you sexually compulsive lunatic. I’m sorry you screwed yourself up but stop making it everyone else’s problem. I’m honestly done being part of the “LGBT community”. I’m part of the GAY community and that’s it.
Cam
@Centrism
So you left off of using the “MissTerri” name and went back to an oldie but a goodie.
Centrism
@Cam I’m going to blow your mind right now. There are multiple in the world who disagree with you on things! No need for a conspiracy theory to explain it.
BoomerMyles
Guys gonna go full on dude in a matter of months.
sobertoday17
Bisexuality is a broad term. The bottom line is you’re either attracted to someone of the same sex or the opposite. There’s no in-betweens. You either like D. or C. This guy’s girlfriend can’t have any kind of stable relationship with him. She’ll always wonder if he’s thinking about guys when they have sex. Or if he’ll run a stray and go with a guy. It sounds like he’s in this relationship to avoid being labeled gay. Even in 2021 there’s a lot of homophobia against actors who’ve come out as gay.
thisrighthere
just curious: do you have the same reaction when a female comes out as bisexual?
SFMike
As usual pretty people can do what they want and no one cares.
Jake123
I’m pretty sure there’s not a certain level of attractiveness one must be to be bisexual.
Donston
I will admit that I do find “person who constantly hypes up their queerness but also constantly talks about how much they love their hetero commitment and their hetero partner” to be tiresome and played out. Even as someone who’s inherently pan-sexual, I just find it kinda tacky and desperate nowadays. On the other end, I recognize how everyone has something going on with their sexuality, their gender, and the gender, sexual, romantic, affection, emotional investment, commitment spectrum. I recognize that a lot of dudes have a difficult time being honest and that a lot of dudes want it be “out” but have a lot of fear of being viewed as “gay”. And I recognize how ignorant and hateful a lot of people still are. So, I never want to dismiss anyone’s “coming out”. Men in hetero commitments with “queer” insecurities and panic as far as being viewed as “gay”, it is tired though. It’s tired as hell.
RickyK
I’ve always like the actor, and I was happy to see him come out as bisexual. The movie “Smiley Face Killers,” in which he stars, wasn’t very good… but the butt shots of Ronen are worth the price of admission!
Fahd
Seems like a very fragile situation. How do bisexuality and staying faithful in a monogamous relationship go together? Discussing all this in People may be standard for our “privacy is dead” age, but I’m concerned someone might get emotionally hurt.
Donston
Many people are inherently bi or contend with some fluidity but are fine in monogamous commitments. While many folks who are inherently bi or contend with some fluidity still only really have commitments and long-term relationships with one gender their whole lives. I will say that he still sound emotionally fragile, insecure and like he’s just getting comfortable with being “out”. So, there could be some using her as a safety net and as something to keep him stable… until he gets a legit boyfriend and isn’t scared of it. Also, these are Hollywood actors we’re talking about. So, it’s impossible to tell how much he says and presents is about ego, image and career.
jal
Monogamy is a choice. Some LGBTQ people choose to be monogamous, some don’t. Some straight people choose to be monogamous, some don’t. It works the same way. If you’re only attracted to people of one specific gender, and you’re monogamous, you still have to choose not to be tempted by all the other people of that gender you might meet. It works the same way for monogamous bisexuals; we just have more people to *not* sleep with. Assuming bisexuals are eventually going to leave or cheat on their current partner is a biphobic stereotype, not a fact.
thisrighthere
serious? you could ask the same thing about homosexuality (if we’re going by stereotypes)
Cam
I don’t see why bisexuality would be any problem for a monogamous relationship.
If a straight person is attracted to brunettes and redheads, just because they’re in a relationship with a redhead doesn’t mean that they will cheat with every brunette who comes along.
I think where bisexuals have gotten that unfair reputation are when gay guys call themselves “bi” and are caught cheating behind their girlfriends back.
Centrism
I’ll be honest, and people will hate me for this, I get more gay leaning vibes from him. I wonder if being with a woman is just good for his career.
jal
It’s called ACTING. Bisexuality is not a stop on the way to “Gaytown”.
Centrism
@Jal I don’t care. I still get the vibe that he prefers penis.
Donston
Jal, his girlfriend said the scene made her realize that he’s not legitimately hetero. So, it wasn’t just “ACTING”. Also, you’re being almost as problematic and presumptuous as a lot of the other posts here. Sometimes, a lot of times in fact, a bi identity is indeed a pathway to “Gaytown”. There are still plenty of folks who “come out” but don’t fully embrace a “gay” identity until years later. There are folks who are “gay” identifying but aren’t homosexual or don’t live strictly homo lifestyles. You don’t really know the dimensions of anyone else’s sexuality, what fluidity they have experienced or may eventually experience, where they are in the gender, sexual, romantic, affection, emotional investment, relationship contentment spectrum, how much their behaviors or identities is driven by ego, sociology, money, opportunity, internalized phobias, and you don’t know the makeup of someone’s psychology and mental health.
This is why I don’t care much about these identities any longer, and I started seeing people and their orientations as individual things. Just root for people to be honest and live the lives they want to live. This “gay” vs “bi” vs “straight” stuff is exhausting and just leads to ignorance and a lot of insecurities.
Leash
“I still get the vibe that he prefers penis.” you sound JUST like those straight guys who think that lesbians “just need a real man”.
If he says he’s bi you have to respect that, you don’t know that person.
BaltoSteve
@Donston, Agreed. And sometimes it’s not Gaytown, sometimes it’s another sexual minority or even gender minority like either Pan-Town or Non-Binarytown. To get so caught up in and fear-grip the AC/DC construct of sexuality speaks volumes about a person’s own insecurities and fears. And while I am sure centrism couldn’t care one way or the other, one has my pity.
thisrighthere
its called projection
Dymension
I wonder why watching him perform a scene with a man (i.e. act) led her to ask the question in the first place? He was just acting. It wasn’t real. I mean, it’s nice that it strengthened their relationship and all, but….
Centrism
He probably looked more into than he does when he’s with her :p
BaltoSteve
It could have been the way he looked at the other character. Since she is also an actor and knows him fairly well, she may have seen the real emotion behind the mask.
ricdardc1
Doris Day & Liza Minelli. Ring a Bell. Sweetie.. I Love this Guy But I remember when George Michael. & Elton John came Out as Bisexual. Test the waters & you’ll Be Hitting The ABBEY. Soon with Your FULLtime Gay Boyfriend.
Jon in Canada
I do find a bit annoying that whenever a bi-celeb comes out, they’re always with a hetero partner. I’d be more impressed if a bi-celeb would come out while being in a same sex relationship, because so far, we’ve only seen hetero-normative bisexuals, so it does come across as dubious.
Donston
There are plenty of public figures who attach to “bi” identities while being in same-sex commitments. While this dude is still clearly dealing with his dimensions, with being “out”, with insecurities, with understanding what he wants, maybe with fluidity or contradictions or Hollywood pressures.
People need to feel like they can be honest and be “out” no matter their circumstances. However, I will admit that it is annoying to see people constantly hype up their “queerness” and want praise and attention for it while they’ve only had hetero commitments and are currently in a hetero commitment. Your identity, your sense of self, your lifestyle, your traumas, your sexuality is one thing. But commitments and marriage will always be what people see first and will always have the biggest political impact. Attractions and sexual behaviors will always be different from who you love and who you choose to commit to and who you prefer persistent passions, romantic attention, emotional investment, comfort, commitments from. While the sociological struggles and ramifications will always be different for people in hetero commitments. That is something a lot of “queers” need understand and accept. Stuff isn’t just about your sexuality or what identities you choose to embrace
sobertoday17
When a lot of people come out they say they’re Bisexual. That sounds better because people think you’re also attracted to women and not just men. This is their way of covering up the fact they’re gay and want D. At the end of the day you either want D or C. There’s no in between.
Cam
@Jon in Canada
There is an actress in “Star Trek Discovery” (The red headed ensign) who is out as being bisexual, but mentioned she didn’t really want to talk about it since she was with a man at the time. She said that when she was dating a woman it irritated her that all the celebs who came out as “Be” were straight presenting in their relationships.
I was like “This woman gets what a lot of people feel”.
DarkZephyr
I’m appalled at the level of biphobia I am reading in many of these comments. I gave up years ago on expecting fellow gay men to be sensitive to other sexual, gender and even racial minorities because of their own experiences with bigotry. But it still sucks to see the insensitivity and flat out prejudice coming from my gay brothers who *should* know better. It simply baffles me. Plus it makes us all look like a collective pack of a**holes.
Bisexuals are still bisexuals even if they are in opposite sex relationships and expressing his truth has made him so HAPPY. I am happy FOR him. Why do we have to begrudge him that and get all bitter because he’s not currently banging another man? Even if he was in a relationship with a guy, how would that affect OUR lives? Why can’t we just be happy for him and not assume that he’s either “lying” or on his way to being gay? Its depressing to see that bisexual erasure is still alive and well.
I get that there is an instinctive tendency for some of us to bristle at bisexual and pansexual individuals that “hype up their queerness” when they are in extremely heterosexual relationships, and I suppose that comes from the fact that while in heterosexual relationships they are still accessing heterosexual privilege, unlike the rest of us. But that doesn’t CHANGE the fact of someone’s bisexuality. Why should they have to pretend that it doesn’t exist? And I can personally see why he would want to give a public shout out to his supportive girlfriend. He’s just being a good boyfriend by doing so. I’m sure he would have done the same if he was in a relationship with a man.
Centrism
Bisexuals disrespect gays all the time. I don’t see you crying about that. I’ll care about “biphobia” when bi people care about homophobia.
RickyK
Well said!
boblrice
I’m sorry @centrism, but when is this ever an argument. I get to be an asshole because some people are assholes to me?
If that was the case then I’d be raving homophobe given how many gay men have been assholes to me. And I’m a gay man.
He’s bisexual. IT EXISTS. Whether you want to believe it or not, there are bisexual people.
Just like when people say “I don’t believe in homosexuality” the proper response is that it’s there whether you believe in it or not, like mountains, or oxygen, or ice cream.
You hating on bi people because in your opinion bi people are hating on gays is just so reductive and useless. It gets us, the collective us, no where.
I’m hoping you’re a guy better person than this in real life because people on comment boards are rarely their best selves. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you on this one.
DarkZephyr
“Bisexuals disrespect gays all the time. I don’t see you crying about that. I’ll care about “biphobia” when bi people care about homophobia.”
I really don’t see that happening as often and this whataboutism still doesn’t justify bisexual erasure and anti-bisexual commentary. Sure it does happen though and when I see comments from bisexuals trashing gays, trust and believe I do speak up. If you were around years back when a bisexual guy calling himself “Masc4Masc” was a regular commenter, you would see several times he and I locked horns because of his attacks on “fem” gays.
And of course bisexuals care about homophobia. It gets directed at them too.
Leash
“Bisexuals disrespect gays all the time” I don’t believe that’s a thing. When a celebrity comes out as gay I don’t see them commenting how its just a phase and he really is bi lol
Cam
@Centrism
Hi @MissTerri under an old screename. you said the same thing about Trans people in a different thread. Could you at least change up your trolling comments instead of just pasting the same ones over and over?
queerandsour
the biphobia in these comments is not it
tyallison
Oh how I wish some of these comments could be directly said to the object of this attention, so he could wipe your tongues into his feces – because some of this sh$t is insane. We desire equality but deny others within our community of their own? I hope portions of your brains come out through your ears and leave you wholly incompetent on this night.
Centrism
I’m gay. He’s not part of my community.
boblrice
@Centrism I take back holding out hope for you. You’re obviously just an unfortunate and emotionally wrecked person.
This much anger over bisexuality is just so irrational.
Cam
@Centrism
Same right wing troll, different screename today.
C_Alan
I love it when people on here dump on bi guys but two sentences later reference the LGBT community.
Any guesses as to what the B stands for?
I’m bi and I wish everyone else were bi but I guess I should to be tolerant of others’ sexual orientation.
That’s the way I’ve always heard it should be.
Prax07
Most “bi” guys are only actually “bi” when they want the dick. The other 99.9% of the time they’re “straight” with their girlfriends or wives.
And def agree if you claim to be gay but are sticking it in a trans vagina you def ain’t gay, because that is def not a man.
thisrighthere
you’ve met most bi guys? interesting…
also, what’s with the quotation marks?
Leash
you definitely agree with who? Yourself?! fck right off with your transphobia.
Do we really need Prax’s input on here Queerty?!
Cam
By your logic, most straight guys are only straight when they’re having sex, and apparently the rest of the time when they’re hanging out with their male friends they’re gay? (Eye Roll)
GoGo
Great, another Nico Tortorella.
DarkZephyr
Nico rocks.
Leash
The amount of biphobia in here is worrying (but not surprising).
Sure, often times people, myself included, are more comfortable saying they are bi at first before realizing they are actually gay, but that doesn’t mean bisexuality isn’t a thing. Happy pride I guess!
thisrighthere
using that logic, straight people must not exist, since many bisexual and gay people live a part of their lives thinking they’re straight
David Myers
Hear hear!!!
Ronangelojr
I’m on the fence about bisexuals. It would always be in the back of my mind “does he want a woman now? Am I not enough for him?” I know it doesn’t sound cool to say, but it would always be a concern of mine. Maybe I’m not as “woke” as I think I am.??????????
BaltoSteve
There are a couple of ways one can view this doubt. The first is that it is pure projection, that one can’t imagine having this extended sexual buffet and not sampling every bit of it. And it might be helpful for one to explore one’s own issues with Monogamy. The other would be that one has been cheated on a few times in the past and that wariness is what fuels the doubt. Sometimes being in a loving relationship can help heal those wounds. Sometime one needs therapy to help work out those issues. In my youth, I dated and had sexual relationships with women, because it was expected of me. I eventually came out and stared dating guys. I had an ex-boyfriend that had this doubt and we eventually broke-up because he couldn’t deal with his own insecurities. All you can do is be honest with yourself, your partner, and, if need be, your therapist.
Heywood Jablowme
@Ronangelojr: “I’m on the fence about bisexuals.”
That’s a great T-shirt slogan!
Res1
Seems like everyone is homophobic cause no one is actually gay anymore and when it is a Mtm relationship, the actual gay always get the short end of the stick.
DarkZephyr
“Seems like everyone is homophobic cause no one is actually gay anymore”
It seems that way to you simply because other members of the LGBTQ+ community are coming out more frequently than they did in years past. This doesn’t mean there are fewer gay men, it means more people are LGBTQ+ than previously believed. This is a lovely thing, not something to whine about.
“and when it is a Mtm relationship, the actual gay always get the short end of the stick.”
Huh?
Centrism
@DarkZephyr I think you mean more people are trend hopping than before.
DarkZephyr
@Centrism I’m sorry that you are so pessimistic about people. I hope one day you find healing.