Turgid, improbably named wingnut (and Republican Colorado state Rep.) Gordon Klingenschmitt left us with a particularly steaming pile of public access TV this week, with his most recent episode of “Pray In Jesus Name.”
Yes, Gordon James Klingenschmitt, Ph.D — who, much like the guy we hooked up with at The Eagle last Sunday, is nicknamed “Dr. Chaps” — is being a little snit-bitch about a new Zales commercial that prominently features a lesbian couple.
Related: Another Cute Commercial, Another One Million Moms Meltdown
As Dr. Chaps sees it, the only reason this happened is because Zales ad executives were abruptly seized by a gaggle of mischief-making demons, who infiltrated their souls and made them promote marriage equality to please Satan.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Here’s Dr. Chaps’ brain passing gas:
It is a demonic spirit not only inside of the lesbian couple who are pretending to get married in this TV commercial, but now influencing and ruling in the hearts of the ad executives who have decided at Zales Jewelers that they should promote this as a good thing to all of America. They are deceivers, they are fooling the American public and we need to expose this as wrong.”
Later on, he fervently prayed that God will “liberate America from the tyranny of these deceptive images” and promised that Americans will resist Zales’ “attempt to re-educate us.”
You can watch the whole mess below, courtesy of Right Wing Watch:
Unfortunately, Klingenschmitt’s prayers went unheard, as God was enrapt by the evening prayers of Kendra Debarge, age 7, who beautifully outlined why she deserveds a Melissa & Doug Plush Unicorn for Xmas.
ChrisK
Interesting how God has the same hate as Klingonshit does. How convenient!
Juanjo
Poor Klingingtoshit, he seems to suffer from gluttony which as I recall is one of the 7 mortal sins, some say the worst of them all.
Kevin Wotipka
Remember when the GOP claimed to be the party of logic and reason?
You think this means they’ve dropped that pretense?
fur_hunter
I see another republican has made a total @$$ of himself and shown what an imbecilic moron he is. Maybe he will be replaced in the next election just my McCrory. We can only hope.
Daniel-Reader
Jesus replies and says “if you’d like to make a collect call, deposit a few billion dracmas in the nearest poor person’s cup”. Of course mr. crazypants sees demons… all hellish people see angels as demons. The bible also says if you broadcast your prayers and make a spectacle of them (Youtube) you are hellbound. Matthew 6:5 “When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get.”
o.codone
Why go out of your way to mock and ridicule people who are definitely “out” there? It’s just like Trump mocking that spastic guy. What you’re doing is not political, it’s just making fun of people for which you should be ashamed. What ever happened to when they go low, we go high. You went lower.
Kangol
@o.codone: Point taken, but why are you again defending a homophobe? Do you ever defend non-homophobes on here. Just wondering.
dwes09
@Kangol: Anybody who names themselves after the most addictive and damaging opioid cannot be taken seriously. His posts show he has indulged in the drug way too much.
o.codone
@Kangol: I said he was ‘out”there. Point being that the mocking is gratuitous, no matter if he’s a homophobe. Besides, homophobes don’t really mean much to me, I just blow them off, they can go fuc*k themselves. And, I’ll be happy to tell them that to their faces. I’m not afraid of some stupid gay hater.
Hussain-TheCanadian
Out of curiosity, why would Satan support marriage equality anyway?
On another note, I don’t think many Americans know what Tyranny means, otherwise it wouldn’t be used as cavalierly as many conservatives use it.
GayEGO
My lifetime partner of 54 years, married 12 years, are both retired and living the American dream We have many friends, gay and straight married and single, and the Earth is still here. These GOPs are simply stupid to think otherwise as science has proven the world is round and LGBTs are not mentally deranged. Geesh, I wish they would learn and evolve with the rest of use but unfortunately they are brainwashed by their religions and are unable to think logically.
GayEGO
@ChrisK: Love your comment!
GayEGO
@o.codone: Don’t be too sure! My partner and I knew a gay guy that met up with another gay guy, so he thought. His gay partner turned out to be a homophobic, harassed us by threatening to burn our house down, did many more obnoxious things, and eventually burned himself up in his own house. I used to go to bed at night and listen to the bushes rustling outside, thinking he was out there getting ready to set our house on fire. Instead, it was just the wind. He used to say that he hated himself and gay people were worse than murderers. Fortunately, he took care of his own problem.
o.codone
@GayEGO: Dude! That’s scary all right. But it’s gotta be the exception. And, if you think about it straight ppl do crazy sh*it like this all the time. Sometimes I think we gays give haters too much weight. It’s time to turn the tables and fu*ck with them if they come at us. Not to minimize your story b/c that dude clearly was dangerous.
Chris
Comments, as homophobic and unhinged as this guy’s are, used to be good for a steady stream of sarcastic put-downs and other forms of gay-shade casting. If ANYTHING deserves a steady stream of insults and returning the favor, it’s this lawmaker’s caca-filled comments. Come on guys, don’t let me down.
nowliveit
Mature people recognize that what bothers them about someone else belongs to them.
What unhealed people project onto others belongs to the projector.
So, this man sees Satan in something he disagrees with…big whoop. Tells us everything about him and who he is. It has no other meaning.
GayEGO
@o.codone: Well said! Klingenschmuck needs to have the tables turned on him! :>)
Billysees
Some great comments —
@fur_hunter:
” I see another republican has made a total @$$ of himself and shown what an imbecilic moron he is. ”
@Daniel-Reader:
” Matthew 6:5 “When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. ”
Very good application of that verse.
@GayEGO:
” These GOPs are simply stupid to think otherwise as science has proven the world is round and LGBT’s are not mentally deranged. ”
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Religious fanatics who depend on the support of others will say and do and whatever it takes to stimulate that support. Sadly, the real shame of it all are the supporters that enjoy listening and watching his stuff.
DJ Veno
Yay.. More gays are possessed bullshit.