Adrien Brody’s Terrifying Gay Goat Rape Saga

The nasal and ab-inclined Hungarian actor Adrien Brody just wanted to populate his upstate New York farm with a couple of goats — or at least his now-ex-girlfriend did. So he bought a couple of them, thinking they were female. They were not. Both were male, and one needed to get his rocks off real bad.

“The more well-endowed goat took a liking to the other one and I swear it was traumatic,” says Brody. “There was a lot of crying and goat noises and I felt incredibly guilty and I didn’t know what to do. I had homosexual goats.”

What to do? Get rid of them both. “It’s best when you have goats that are that gay to just let them free… because I felt that they were in captivity and the one was receiving a lot of aggression on the other one’s behalf… so I sent them off to Sonoma” in California. Because things are so great for the gays up there.