TRUE CONFESSIONS

Adult Film Star Comes Out To His Mother After Finding Porn On Her Computer

Adult film star Jesse Jackman got quite a shock when he logged onto his mom’s computer last October.

I went into her study, turned on her computer, and to my utter horror was greeted by a browser window that was open to a very familiar website: my blog,” Jackman writes in a new essay published on The Huffington Post. “My very NSFW blog.”

He continues:

My heart sputtered. I was instantly nauseous, and felt like I was in free fall. The ramifications hit me at once: if she’d seen the blog, she knew everything. She knew that I was a porn star, that my husband Dirk (whom I’d met through my studio) was a porn star, that my frequent trips to California were not really to visit friends.”

After getting over the initial horror, he decided it was time to confront his mother about his profession, which he had been keeping a secret from her for years.

A few days later, he and his husband arranged a dinner with her. At the dinner, Jackman said:

“Mom, there’s something I want to talk to you about. I stopped by the house a few days ago and used your computer, and it was open to…”

“Your blog,” she interrupted.

Jackman was speechless.

His mother explained that she had been aware of his profession for some time, after finding an unusual deposit on one of his bank statements sent to her house.

“Several months earlier she’d noticed a deposit from a source she didn’t recognize — my studio — and traced it back to their website,” Jackman writes. “At the time, Dirk and I had just released a bondage film called Loud and Nasty, and our images were plastered all over the studio’s homepage. With video!”

Amazingly, she didn’t care too much about what her son did for a living. She was more upset because the bondage scene she stumbled upon looked like he was being tortured, which made her sad.

“We explained to her that everything we did was consensual, exciting, and a tremendous amount of fun. Boundaries were respected, and nobody got hurt,” Jackman writes.

He concludes:

“I don’t think she fully understands my decision to make porn; she has difficulty grasping how I can be so open about something as private and intimate to her as sex. But that’s not really the point. The important thing is that we actually talk about stuff now. If I can tell her I’m a friggin’ porn star and she still loves me, then I can tell her anything.”

If that doesn’t warm your heart, nothing will.