Oh, the terrible plight of being a straight male in today’s increasingly gay world! One such poor unfortunate soul in New South Wales, Australia, wrote to The Age’s advice columnist, Danny Katz, whining about the flirtations of his newly out gay friend.
Related: Straight guys sound off on how much they love getting hit on by gay men
And we quote:
One of my friends who recently came out as gay has started flirting with me, even though he knows I’m straight and therefore have no interest in him. I have frequently reminded him of this when the need has arisen. What can I do to make him stop?
Katz swiftly put the guy in his place. “Personally, I don’t know why you’re so upset about this,” he responded. “As long as the flirting is harmless and non-naked and doesn’t involve going away together for a romantic overnighter in a charming B&B on the coast followed by brekkie in a funky beachside cafe that serves chickpea shakshuka, I can’t see what the problem is.”
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Related: Gay guy shares lessons learned from his straight guy crush
And if the flirting isn’t harmless or non-naked or shakshuka-less? “Just tell your friend that it’s making you uncomfortable and could you go back to the relationship you once had: just a couple of mates who can enjoy a laugh, a drink, a hug and a good, old-fashioned Aussie bum-slap without it getting weird.”
On a completely unrelated note, we wonder if any stores in Australia sell “Fragile” stickers. You know, for moving boxes.
WashDrySpin
utter BS…words and actions that do not involve touch can make another person feel uncomfortable especially from a “friend” that received the message that it is NOT ok…this person has NO respect and I would drop him as a friend…also I have dropped many gay friends who can’t abide by my wishes
Also READ the author’s entire post in response to this letter via the link…it speaks more about their desperation for affection, acknowledgment and attention than anything else
Rock-N-RollHS
Some of you snowflakes feel uncomfortable by the drop of a pin. Your problem. Hope you still have some friends. Or better yet, maybe you are best without them.
jjose712
Sorry but the straight guy is totally right.
If you are a friend of someone and your flirty behaviour is making him uncomfortable just stop.
Change this for a straight guy making a girl unconfortable with his filrty ways and nobody will say to the girl to be over herself
controversial2019
Posted nearly the exact same, at the same time. Ha!
Inspector 57
Exactly!!!
controversial2019
What disgusting advice.
I bet were it to be a female writing in about the unwanted flirtations of a Male, the ‘agony aunt’ would have pointed out how wrong it is.
But because it’s a straight guy uncomfortable with a gay guy flirting, they flip it to ‘Oh get over it’.
Disgusting.
Rock-N-RollHS
Just disgusting!! Oh, my. Clutch my pearls!
MudgeBoy
well said. I completely agree.
sanfranca1
Bad advice. The straight guy should firmly lay down the law: stop it. Period. And if it doesn’t stop, then Bye, Felicia.
maleficent
“and if it doesn’t stop”… bitch slap the fuc*ker. he might understand that….you think?
RIGay
No means no. Period.
Rock-N-RollHS
What a bunch of pussees here.
Grow a pair.
Flirting can be fun or hostile. If the former, just enjoy the compliment. If the later, it ain’t flirting, it’s aggression.
DuMaurier
Obviously. But it’s up to the flirtee to decide, not the flirter. If someone goes out of his (or her) way to say something (or write to an advice columnist) there’s a problem. If it wasn’t ‘hostile’ before, continuing after you’ve been asked to stop can only mean you’re deliberately trying to make the other party uncomfortable–and that’s what I call ‘hostile’.
TheMarc
If someone is uncomfortable being flirted with; it needs to stop immediately. It’s not up to you to decide what someone else’s limits are. You need to grow up. It’s more of a sign of weakness that you can’t respect someone else’s boundaries because you think they should “grow a pair.” No one owes you the right to push unwanted sexual/romantic advances on them.
Doctor Benway
I agree with everyone.
Even if the flirting is harmless, it can be really annoying and make you uncomfortable. No means no, even when we’re talking about guy flirting with guy.
woodroad34
And what does he say about a girl who is a long-time platonic friend, but eventually starts flirting with him?
Cam
Let’s do the typical and switch genders. If this was a straight woman saying that a straight male friend kept flirting with her even after she told him to stop it, they author wouldn’t have told her just to smile and enjoy it. This was bad advice.
TheMarc
So Queerty’s stance is if it’s someone they don’t like (James Charles) that engages in this behavior; they’re horrible, predatory monsters.
Anyone else, it’s just harmless fun.
The advice and tone within this article is completely unacceptable. No one should have to tolerate unwanted sexual advances. Period. No one is “fragile” because they don’t want someone hitting on them. This type of attitude is dangerous and one I have witnessed far too often in our community. It needs to stop. Not interested means not interested.
Brian
There is a point where flirting crosses over into harassment. There’s nothing wrong with taking a shot, but if they shoot you down, move on.
chasgoose
It would be one thing if this guy were complaining about getting hit on by random gay guys that he’s likely never going to see again every so often. This is a different situation, and shouldn’t be acceptable regardless of gender or sexual orientation. I will give the flirter a bit of a benefit of the doubt, that he’s recently out and this straight friend probably feels like a safe space for practicing flirting or just expressing same sex interest since its clear there is nothing to come of it, but if the friend has been told he needs to stop multiple times, its time to stop.