Advice For Dumb People

amy dickinson

We seem to forget why we the people in power. And we read advice columns like this and we’re reminded why we have to suffer through another few years with George Bush.

Wondering, a Denver housewife, recently witnessed her two gay neighbors kissing each other goodbye one morning. It’s not the PDA she has a problem with. It’s the gay PDA. She went to her pastor for advice (natch) on how to deal with the situation and he encouraged to write a letter declaring her opposition to said smooching, have everyone on the block sign it, and deliver it to their door. We’ll let Wondering tell the rest of the story herself:

Since I delivered it, I’ve not been able to get them to even engage me in conversation. I offer greetings but they’ve chosen to ignore me. They have made it so uncomfortable for the other neighbors and me by not even acknowledging our presence. How would you suggest we open communications with them and explain to them that we value their contributions to the neighborhood but will not tolerate watching unnatural and disturbing behavior.

We love Ask Amy’s response. She’s no Judge Judy, but much nastier than that old bitty Dear Abbey. Still both of their readers are just as oblivious.

Amy’s response after the jump.

Apology might help ease tension in neighborhood [Ask Amy]

DEAR WONDERING: You’re lucky that these gentlemen merely choose to ignore you.

Your neighbors could respond to your hospitality by hosting weekly outdoor “gay pride” barbecues and inviting all of their friends to enjoy life on your quiet suburban street. I can hold out hope that they will choose to do this, but I’m spiteful in that way. Your neighbors sound much more kind.

In your original petition to these men, you basically stated that while you value them when they are raising the standard on your street and shoveling your driveway, you loathe them for being who they are.

The only way to open communication with your neighbors would be to start by apologizing to them for engaging your other neighbors in your campaign. Because you don’t sound likely to apologize, you are just going to have to tolerate being ignored.