Attraction is a universal experience that prompts us to gravitate towards certain people. For instance, aesthetic attraction refers to the desire to gaze at someone and admire their appearance without necessarily wanting a relationship with them.
But can we only feel this way because we find someone good-looking? And just how important is it to be aesthetically attractive? How do we even know when we feel it?
The good news is you don’t need to take an aesthetic attraction quiz or any test to understand why you find certain qualities attractive or not. With our guide, you can learn everything you need to know about aesthetic attraction, how it differs from other forms of attraction, and what it means for your dating life!
RELATED: Study Says Being Attractive Makes You More Likely To Support LGBTQ People
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What Is Aesthetic Attraction?
Aesthetic attraction involves feeling drawn to the physical appearance of a person, which can include an appreciation for their style, facial features, figure, or overall look.
The term aesthetic attraction was first coined in 2005 within the asexual community. Many asexuals experience feeling visually interested in what a person looks like but have no desire to have sexual, physical, or romantic contact with them.
What Does Aesthetic Attraction Feel Like?
Aesthetic attraction feels like a magnetic desire to gaze at someone and admire their physical appearance. Some compare this feeling to seeing an eye-catching photograph or painting that you can’t help but stop and look at.
When you feel aesthetically attracted, you may catch yourself looking at a person for an extended period without necessarily wanting to go over and talk to them or form any relationship with them.
Aesthetic Attraction vs Physical Attraction: What’s The Difference?
Most people confuse aesthetic attraction’s definition with physical attraction since there is quite a bit of overlap between the two.
As mentioned, finding someone aesthetically attractive is based on the appreciation for the visual qualities of a person. On the other hand, physical attraction refers to the desire to share a space with someone and touch them.
However, some people believe that physical attraction is a general term that includes aesthetic and sensual attraction. Sensual attraction is the desire to physically touch someone non-sexually, such as holding someone’s hand.
Aesthetic Attraction vs Sexual Attraction: What’s The Difference?
Put simply, you experience sexual attraction when you want to have sex with another person. Interestingly, you may experience either or both types of sexual desire: objective and subjective sexual attraction.
Objective sexual feelings involve wanting to have sex with someone considered conventionally attractive even if you may not be attracted to them personally. Meanwhile, subjective sexual feelings involve wanting to have sex with someone you find attractive, despite other people thinking otherwise.
Other Forms Of Attraction You Can Feel
People can find someone attractive in more ways than one. To help you make sense of all the unique ways people develop attraction, we made a list of other terms you can familiarize yourself with!
Romantic Attraction
Experiencing romantic attraction is most easily defined by the desire to form loving, romantic relationships. When you experience romantic attraction, you may go through the typical process of dating, committing, and marrying.
For example, someone monogamous may be romantically attracted to another and pursue a romantic relationship with them. On the other hand, someone polyamorous may feel romantically attracted towards several people and form relationships with all of them.
In addition, the way you experience romantic attraction can be affected by your romantic orientation. For example, the term demiromantic describes someone who experiences romantic attraction only after they’ve formed an emotional connection with them.
Emotional Attraction
People who feel emotionally drawn to someone may display admiration for someone’s personality, humor, values, or attitude. The emotional closeness present in their relationship fosters intimacy, which explains why lots of people feel romantic attraction alongside their emotional admiration.
Intellectual Attraction
Although not as common as romantic or sexual attraction, intellectual attraction is another way to experience a dimension of desire. It is the genuine appreciation for the ability of people to share deep insights or hold thought-provoking conversations with them. Sometimes, what people find most attractive is understanding how an individual makes sense of life and the world around them.
Platonic Attraction
Have you ever wanted to befriend someone you just met really badly? If you have, that’s what platonic attraction feels like! It may not involve intense feelings or a desire to gaze at one’s aesthetically-pleasing features, but it’s something that almost everyone experiences.
And when the desire to befriend someone grows into a genuine friendship, platonic love forms, helping us feel warm and valued. For example, in queerplatonic relationships, a friend is emotionally intimate and affectionate to their friends, even though they are not sexually attracted to them or interested in pursuing a romantic relationship.
Is Aesthetic Attractiveness Important To Everyone?
Not at all! Everyone has a different set of preferences when it comes to the type of attraction they value most since desires are not necessarily shared among people. For instance, some people may feel an emotional bond and want to have sex with someone, despite not being aesthetically attracted to them. Alternatively, others may prioritize aesthetics or physical attractiveness over intellectual and romantic attractiveness.
Fun fact: People who are non-aesthetic or ansthetic don’t even consider aesthetic attractiveness necessary to be considered attractive.
How Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Affect Aesthetic Attraction
Regardless of your sexual preference or gender identity, anyone may be interested in the aesthetics of an individual. Some heterosexual people even shared that they’ve thought someone of the same sex was aesthetically attractive.
Since appreciating aesthetics is purely visual, it doesn’t change your sexual preference or gender at all. If you think about it, you could consider your friends as aesthetically attractive people even if you don’t want to form romantic and sexual relationships with them.
As mentioned, experiencing sexual attraction involves the desire to have sex with someone, and romantic attractiveness refers to the desire to become romantically involved. Therefore, your admiration for one’s aesthetics doesn’t directly affect your sexuality or gender.
Can Aesthetic Attraction Turn Into Sexual Interest?
Yes, it’s possible for people to feel aesthetically interested in someone at one point, and then their perception of that someone can change later on. Based on their sexuality, someone may or may not develop the desire to make sexual contact after initially finding someone aesthetically attractive.
For example, allosexuals (people whose sexuality involves the possibility of becoming sexually interested) may find a person’s short hair and brown eyes aesthetically attractive when they first meet. And after spending time with them, they may find them sexually attractive and become interested in having sex.
However, asexuals (people whose sexuality does not involve becoming sexually interested) won’t ever find even the most aesthetically attractive person to be sexually attractive. On the other hand, if a person is pansexual, they can perceive someone as aesthetically attractive regardless of their gender and develop interest emotionally, sexually, or romantically.
We Like What We Like
The key to understanding all the different forms of attractiveness is to remember that we experience attraction towards people subjectively. Gender, sexuality, and personal preferences each play a role in developing a mental guide that tells us what we’re into or not.
While some can be aesthetically drawn without developing sexual or romantic attraction, others can be emotionally interested in someone and quickly develop romantic feelings. By embracing our differences, we can continue to spread a message of acceptance as we recognize all the unique ways we become interested in people.
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SamB
Wait a minute, I thought you had to be attracted to everyone or you’re a bigot?
DarkZephyr
You have to be kind and respectful to everyone or you’re a bigot. Big difference. Everyone here knows that you never just talk about what type of person attracts you. You also go out of your way to put down the types of people you aren’t attracted to. THAT is the problem people have with you and you know it. Don’t try to play it off as otherwise.
Cam
It’s adorable how enraged the same old right wing troll gets when rac-ism and bigotry is called out.
Sorry not being able to say the N word wrecked your day.
wikidBSTN
Nope. That just applies to you.
Ronbo
SamB, You come here for a reason. I agree with some of what you’ve written; however, I do sense you are here to explore for yourself or family. We are often our own worst enemy when it comes to looking inward.
Perhaps, you would benefit from actually knowing LGBTQ people. Most of the overly judgmental people your comments attract certainly do not represent our community – as with all groups, we have are outliers.
Please reserve judgment until you understand that in every group there are people who’ve been damaged in life, by life. Compassion that you give others, makes you stronger.
SamB
I’m not sure what you are saying here. I’m an openly gay man with a male partner. My comment here was regarding the trend for “progressive” people saying if you are not attracted to a trans person then you’re a transphobe… if you’re not attracted to a heavy person, you’re a fat-phobe… but now here’s an entire article trying to outline why you like what you like. I’m commenting on the reverse messages.
DarkZephyr
@SamB
You are so full of it. You aren’t merely “not attracted to trans people”. You go out of your way to say nasty things about them. You do the same when it comes to effeminate gay men. THAT is why everyone thinks you are a transphobe. You don’t have to want to have sex with a trans person to treat them with respect.
SamB
DarkZ: I don’t dislike trans people at all. I’m not an expert at all but I do understand what it means to be trans and they need to do what makes them happiest. But I can also have the belief that male to female trans women should not play on a woman’s team because there is a definite advantage. I can support trans people but feel that 8 years old is too early for a child to make that decision.
I commented on this because for the last couple years we’ve been inundated with dumb phobias because someone may have a preference as far as who they find attractive. Before it was “you’re not my type” and we moved on. Now it’s a backlash and accusations of hatred.
Heywood Jablowme
SamB can no longer get away with saying “no fats, no fems” and/or “no blacks, no Asians” on a hookup site because if he does that he’ll get called a bigot, or the site might even block him. Oh, the horror! So now he wants to pretend there’s a plot to send him to a re-education camp where he’ll be FORCED to have sex with a fat, fem, Black/Asian transgender person. Or something like that. But probably no self-respecting transperson would want to have sex with SamB anyway.
And since SamB claims to have a partner, isn’t this all a moot point?
Cam
@Ronbo
Really? What that SamB has said do you agree with? Since he mostly just trolls or defends right wing bigots.
Ohhhhh right, you’re another one of it’s screenames trying to put in a little plug claiming that sometimes SamB is reasonable.
Your trolling is sad and weak.
MarcyMayer
This article is only articulating a truth we all learned when we were very young: There are physically attractive people and those who are not. Attractive people won the birth lottery, obviously. Therefore, good looking people have an advantage over others because they are sexually attractive.
Heywood Jablowme
No, you missed the entire point of the article. Gee, it’s almost as if you didn’t read it at all! But that can’t be true, right?
Ginger Tom
I find this a helpful article as it reminds me there are various different forms of attraction and attractiveness which we need to distinguish. The mistake we sometimes make is mistaking one for another. One may be intellectually attracted or emotionally attracted to someone and assume that means one ought to consider a sexual relationship with them. There are so many permutations. You have to stop and think which you are really feeling in order not to make mistakes. As a man I am aesthetically attracted to attractive women and can be platonically, intellectually and emotionally attracted too them, even romantically attracted, but know enough to realise that this does not mean I am sexually attracted to them! That is the block in the road! and all the other attractions don’t compensate enough. There isn’t that block for me with guys where the sexual attraction is very powerful.