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AFA’s Got No Wal-Mart Love

The American Family Association, those demigods of familial values, has just released an edict urging their members to boycott Wal-Mart over its alliance with National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

Insisting that said alliance furthers gay causes (or, as Shirley Phelps Roper would say, are “fag-enablers”), the AFA hopes to run Wal-Mart out of business. 365 Gay reports:

Randy Sharp, AFA’s director of special projects said he did an online search of Walmart.com using such terms as “gay,” “lesbian,” “transgender,” “bisexual,” and “gay marriage”.

“They’ll come up with hundreds, sometimes even thousands of products relating to homosexuality [and promotion of] the agenda of the homosexual community,” Sharp told Christian publication Agape.

AFA is calling “on Christian consumers to spend their dollars elsewhere as a sign of their displeasure with Wal-Mart’s pro-homosexual leanings.”

We’ve never thought of Wal-Mart as particularly gay, so to test out the Sharp’s theory, we made a list of “gay” things to see if we could find them. And, you know what? We found every last one of them!

So, what was on our list? Poppers, industrial sized butt plug, a goat, “Family” sized Vaseline, barely legal hookers, Mark Foley, crystal meth, spiked necklace, rubber gloves, a gerbil, a gerbil wheel (don’t ask), plastic wrap, a clown mask, and Saltines (we’ve got a sensitive tummy).

There you have it folks, Wal-Mart’s a way better place to get your supplies for your next gay orgy than that dumb ol’ sex shop.

On:           Oct 25, 2006
Tagged: , , , ,
    • ggreen

      OMG where will those “Christians” go for the 64 OZ cans of Aquanet and the 12lb bag of cookies of a dollar? Not to mention the fabulous forced child labor produced clothing. What will Christmas shopping be for them with out all the cheap and crappy kitsch that’s produced in atheist communist or Buddhist countries? I guess they’ll have to be satisfied waving their polyester American Flags at each other and saying “praise god we’re free!” Forget worshipping that plastic nativity scene.

      Oct 25, 2006 at 12:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben

      By WalMart’s own estimates, every person who makes a lifelong commitment to boycott Walmart costs WalMart $221,000 over the course of that person’s lifetime.

      Oct 25, 2006 at 1:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sensation

      Don’t be fooled by Walmart either. They do not like gays. They only like our money.
      Walmart is the last place I would shop. Much of what they do is not sincere, but a calculated move to grow their business.

      Oct 25, 2006 at 4:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Debbie Weaver

      OMG what about the hair coloring kits that contain rubber-gloves? I guess that means all hair color kits have ta go.

      Nov 16, 2006 at 9:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Benjamin Thayer

      Gotta hand it to the American Fanatical Association (AFA). They’re right up there with the neo-nazis and the John Birch Society with it comes to making friends.

      Nov 25, 2006 at 1:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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