Never one to demure, actor Alan Cumming has defended queer actors in Hollywood. The actor also slammed the aversion to people including their preferred pronouns in emails.
The 55-year-old star of films, Broadway and television shows like The Good Wife told The Guardian that he has no shame or regret about coming out early in his career. “It’s never felt complicated, my sexuality,” he says. “I’ve never had shame about sex in general or homosexuality. Growing up, I saw a man who was unable to control his desire. It made me feel like I’ve got a sexual appetite and it’s not a bad thing. Seeing my father struggle with this and realizing that he had no control over it made me feel liberated.”
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“The constant question I used to get was: ‘Do you think that coming out is bad for your career in Hollywood?’ It’s such a ridiculous question,” Cumming quips. “I don’t think people in Basingstoke or Idaho are not going to go and see a movie because someone in it is gay. I really don’t think they care.”
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Cumming has detailed his complex–and at times, abusive–relationship with his father in his memoir, Not My Father’s Son. His father’s homophobia inspired Cumming to come out as his star rose in showbiz; he won a Tony for Cabaret in 1998, and spoke openly of his sexuality at the time.
The actor also continues to champion queer rights in all forms. That includes increased awareness of gender identity. “When people get all weird about people putting pronouns at the end of their emails, I think: ‘F*ck you,'” he says. “These people are being kind to you and doing you a favor by telling you how they want to be defined.”
Elsewhere in the interview, Cumming had this to say about circumcision:
“I never thought anything about my foreskin, and then I came to America and I was having sex and people would just be gasping because they’d never seen a foreskin before. I was made to feel weird and freakish because I had an intact body.
“It’s genital mutilation. And I think people say: ‘Oh, that’s hysterical.’ But we do it to girls and it’s called genital mutilation.”
At present, Cumming hosts the podcast Homo Sapiens. The new season begins April 30.
jayceecook
What *is* his sexuality? Because it seems to have changed over the years. I decided to quit trying to keep up but since he’s speaking about it yet again I guess I should “check in” for clarity’s sake.
I will never, ever put my preferred pronouns in any email, text, or correspondence I send. Mainly because I don’t have any. I honestly could care less. But I can see why somebody might want to if they feel the person they are communicating with might or is misgendering them.
Also, keep men’s bodies intact. If your Jewish, fine I guess, otherwise quit the snip.
Kangol2
Do Muslims not count? Both Jews and Muslims believe in circumcision. Many US hospitals have tended to adopt an opt-out policy, or did for 50+ years.
jayceecook
@Kangol2 they do but since their practice is not an identical analog to the Jewish practice I left them out. Especially since there is no basis for it in the Qur’an and Sunni and Shiite Muslims don’t necessarily agree that it is obligatory.
jonasalden
I don’t know much about Islam, which should be surprising since it’s one of the world’s major religions. I grew up in NYC and I saw them daily-although I don’t know any personally-but didn’t think deeply about it. So I just learned something new about them. My dad’s side is Jewish, so I knew about that. The question is, why do so many males WHO ARE NOT JEWISH still get circumcised? I’m sure Google has an answer for that too, but I NEVER WONDERED deeply. Could it be that circumcision, for some reason, has become a default? I once dated a guy who felt mutilated as a baby for having undergone one, but he was weird in so many other ways, I assumed his obsession with his lack of foreskin was yet another one.
jayceecook
@jonasalden A lot of people will probably tell you it’s because of religion. Christianity did adopt the practice in a way but never made it obligatory. However in the USA it’s mostly due to what most things are about in this country. Money.
Doctors during the 19th century were experimenting with treatments and began to think that circumcision was a panacea. They sold the idea to their patients. This carried over into the 20th century and it slowly shifted from a cure all to what David Gollaher explains in his book Circumcision: A History of the World’s Most Controversial Surgery, “a circumcised penis swiftly became a mark of distinction, a sign of good breeding, sound hygiene and the best medicine money could buy.”
And doctors made a good amount of money from the procedures. The fact that they could do about 4 to 5 an hour gave them the incentive to push it onto new parents. Then eventually it just became the norm and essentially a tradition passed down from generation to generation.
Nowadays it’s not as common as it used to be but still very much the standard. Some states have insurance that doesn’t cover it anymore so now where you’re born can affect whether you are circumcised or not. Last time I checked the west and northwest states tend to have fewer circumcisions performed. Then as you head east and northeast is becomes more common.
john.k
I know this is off point so please forgive me but where has this “could care less” come from? The phrase is “couldn’t care less”. After all if you could care less it means you do care at least somewhat.
jayceecook
@john.k It popped up in America as a saying in the late 50s or early 60s from the early 20th century British English phrase “I could not care less”.
https ://www.dictionary.com/e/could-care-less/
Mister P
He is right about genital mutilation.
It should be outlawed and violators charged with child abuse.
Creamsicle
1. I love Alan Cumming. He did help me feel more normal in the late 1990s and 2000s, because people accepted him as an actor and his sexuality never seemed to bother anyone. It was the first time I saw a man define his own masculinity, and it was very empowering.
2. Cumming is right about circumcision. It is genital mutilation, and it’s really hard telling a non-religious American that it’s not normal outside the U.S. They just won’t believe you.
I would have liked to be allowed to make an informed decision about my own body. I think more people are coming around to that argument. Preserving your child’s body autonomy is more important than social pressure to circumcise, if you wouldn’t have done it for religious reasons.
Literally every other argument in favor of circumcision as a medical procedure is not relevant to a newborn. Alleged lower risk of STI? Not relevant to a newborn. Alleged improvement to total intercourse time? Not relevant to a newborn. Let MEN decide what to do with our bodies, instead of taking that choice away from children.
Josh447
I don’t get the putting pronouns at the end of an email. I use my name, not “sincerely” he or him. Someone please update me.
Creamsicle
Some people include it in their email signature after their sign off and job title.
Josh447
Thx for your answer. Can you give me an example in writing? Or do I assume they sign their name and add “they” in parentheses etc?
Jazz
It would be like
John Smith (my pronouns are he, him)
Managing Director
ETC ETC
Josh447
Thx Jazz
Chrisk
I really do think it takes a gay man to look outside the box. We tend to not group think like our straight peers. Comparing it to female mutilation is right on. It’s cruel and barbaric.
A big part of why you don’t mutilate the d*ck is because when you get older it becomes less sensitive. That’s why the US has highest number of ED.
jayceecook
He’s not gay.
Andrew
I find it funny how when the subject of circumcision comes up there is a group that seems to sound exactly like anti abortionists. I love uncut and cut penises. I am glad there is variety. I think you should feel free to make your case in an educational and polite manner, but ultimately let the parents make the decision for themselves. When you say things like it should be made illegal you sound like “them”. I also find this funny when it comes up in my community that so many people are willing to get tattoos and piercings. I hear you now saying that “Well that is my decision”. Parents make many decisions for there children almost always out of love an protection. Immunizations, schools, etc. Then at some point you take over your decisions. Let’s not get mad at parents for doing their job.
jayceecook
One reason why people disagree with the practice is because it *is* the parent’s decision. The child has no say over what is being done to their body. Other people are making the decision for them. Deciding what is best for their body.
That’s the same kind of argument the pro choice people make.
Andrew
No it is not the same thing that pro choice people are saying at all. (I am pro choice). That is the message the anti abortionists are making. The child has no choice to be born.
jayceecook
You misunderstood what I said. Pro choice arguments are built on the concept that a woman’s body and reproductive organs are hers and hers alone. That nobody else should have the ability to make choices over what they can and cannot do with them.
That is EXACTLY the same argument that anti circumcision people are making. That a man’s body and reproductive organs are his and his alone. That nobody, including his parents, should be able to decide what he should do with them.
Troysky
@jayceecook ……YEP. ………….And for the record, Jesus Christ was circumcised on his 8th day, and, yes, he was Jewish, but I think Christians follow what He did. Just saying, I think that is why it is the way it is in the usa.
Mister P
Parents should not pierce or tattoo their children because of love or religious tradition. If they do they should be charged with child abuse.
Kangol2
I think Alan Cumming is quite talented but something about his shtick grates on me. But each to his own.
In terms of circumcision, I wish US hospitals, where most childbirths occur, allowed all biological male infants to stay intact unless the parents asked that they not for religious reasons (Jews, Eastern Orthodox, some Christians & Muslims), or for extenuating medical circumstances (severe phimosis, etc.). Let adult men decide whether they wanted to keep their foreskins or not; most probably would, some probably would not.
Donston
I liked him in The Good Wife for the most part. But he does have the tendency of giving awkward, “quirky” performances seemingly for the sake of it.
Den
Jews do not circumcise boys in the hospital. It is done on the 8th day after birth (if the child is not healthy, and/or is still in the hospital at that point, it is postponed. It is done in a family ceremony by a specifically trained Rabbi called a Mohel. While the Ultra Orthodox and Hassidim still cling to rather old fashioned methods, Most other Mohels follow modern surgical/sterile procedures.
Also, Jewish infants are given a small quantity of ritual wine as well as a topical numbing cream beforehand and often sleep through the procedure, so it is not the painfest people imagine. By contrast Hospitals only started using a numbing cream in 1999! I do not know how Muslims conduct the ritual, but it makes sense that Arab Muslims do it as well, traditionally descending from Abraham as Jews do. Other than when problems exist, here is no reason for anybody not following religious tradition to circumcise.
Kangol2
@Den, actually, it depends on the hospital and which branch of Judaism people practice. I believe that Reform Jews actually do allow their biological male children to be circumcised in hospitals, and go back on the 8th day, as per the Torah, to have it done as hygienically as possible. Also, a child could conceivably receive a bris afterward circumcision, since the two, while linked, are not the same. I would imagine all Orthodox and most adherents to Conservative Judaism go with a mohel, at home.
jayceecook
Well since nobody seemed to want to answer my question in my first comment I decided to take my own advice and do some research. Turns out his website has a FAQ and sure enough his sexuality is listed. He is bisexual. Which is what I assumed.
Donston
You claimed his identity changed over the years when it did not. He came out as “bi” in, I believe, the mid 90’s. He’s continued to identify that way throughout the years despite now being married to a dude for over a decade. Based off of interviews he doesn’t really mind being seen as “gay”. But he claims to stick to a bi identity in order to show that not all bi identifying guys are bad or something like it. I had some issue with his reasoning. Embrace whatever identity you wish to. All those people in Hollywood do whatever and identify as whatever. I’m sure there are plenty of gay identifying celebs that aren’t anywhere near homo and definitely many straight identifying celebs with some type of “queerdom” in them. However, I don’t like people embracing identities primarily for political reasons. It just doesn’t sit well with me. I’d rather you embrace no identity at all than having a public identity mostly driven by politics.
Troysky
@Donston ….yeah, similar thinking here as I try to understand Cumming sexuality ….and with a last name like that, why would we not be more curious 🙂
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Some guys have strong opinions on cut/not cut. I like either. And generally when fully erect, on most guys you can’t tell if cut or uncut. The only caveat is that uncut guys need to be very sure they keep it clean.
I met a really hot guy one time we were having an amazing time taking it slowly hanging out kissing and cuddling before actually getting naked. I was definitely falling for him. When the night finally came and we began what I was actually considering making love, I slowly slipped his underwear off I unfortunately found he really didn’t practice proper uncut peen hygiene
🙁
ShiningSex
FIRST OFF, BEING UNCUT IS NOT CUTE.
SORRY MY OPINION. I JUST DON’T CARE FOR IT. PLUS MANY MEN HAVE “ODOR” ISSUES THAT ARE UNCUT AND THAT’S WHERE IT BECOMES AN ISSUE. NOW, I WAS WITH SOMEONE THAT A NICE ONE, BUT THAT WAS SO SO SO SO RARE.
AS FOR PRONOUNS, I AM FINE WITH MOST, BUT SOME GET CARRIED AWAY ABOUT BEING WAY TOO PC AND BITCHING AT THOSE THAT BARELY WANT TO SAY ANYTHING OPPOSED TO “THEM”. I LOVE MY COMMUNITY, BUT THE CHILDREN TODAY NEED TO READ LGBT HISTORY AND GET SOME SENSE.
Josh447
Is your intention to scream your entire comment? Or do you not know that caps signify yelling.
F*k changing pronouns.
They need to find some label that we can all sign off on.
Hussain-TheCanadian
I don’t know if I agree with the claim that male circumcision is akin to body mutilation, i think that’s an extreme view to hold. I don’t feel like my penis is not working properly, or that im missing sensations when im having sex or masturbating, it feels as it should.
Female genital mutilation is nothing like male circumcision, its goal is to remove or lessen female sexual enjoyment/sensation, it scars the vagina, and leaves physical pain with those mutilated. To equate that with circumcision is a bit much, no?
Josiah Freshmount
I’m sorry but uncut dicks are nasty and dirty and more prone to harbor STI’s (but who listens to science and data these days). I would not not sleep with a guy because he was uncut, but it does take more effort and I think about and fear smegma every time I touch one. We can thank the insurance companies in the U.S. for being cheap and not wanting to pay for circumcision for all the vast majority of guys who are uncut.
Chrisk
Maybe they don’t pay to mutilate because it’s not a medical necessity?
Why is it that Europe where being uncut is the norm isn’t teaming with STI’s then? I know it’s a long ways away but try to think with some actual facts and logic.
inbama
When you’re so nelly everyone in Hollywood assumes you’re gay, it’s so brave to come out as bisexual.
Seriously?
LostinAustin
First off Alan has one of the most different looking penises IMHO. He hit on me a few times in LA in the 90s – at the gym, so I can understand why he feels the way he does. It is small and almost all foreskin. Being Jewish I was kind of shocked to see something like that, let alone have someone proposition me (guess I was naive).
Jazz
Is this really necessary?
Black Pegasus
Why is it only gay celebrities who find a way to let the world know if they are Tops, Bottoms, Cut or Uncut. Have some class. We don’t need to know your opinions on male circumcision.
o.codone
@jayceecook. The pro-choice position argues that only the women and her doctor should make her reproductive decisions. Not the father, not the courts not religion. Yet the pro-choice people decide for the man when or if he is going to reproduce. He does not make that deision for himeslf. If he has a child it is only by permission of the woman. Men have no reproductive rights in America. Our reproductive decisions are made for us by the woman and her doctor. And then we have to support that kid until it’s an adult. It’s economic slavery. We have to support a child we didn’t want. Men need reproductive rights.
jayceecook
@o.codone Oh I absolutely agree that the current system is extremely unfair to men. It traps them into an economic “prison sentence”. It’s an ethic dilemma I struggle with. I’ve thought about it for a long, long time and even outlined various alternative options for the hell of it.
That said, I wasn’t trying to say that advocating an anti circumcision viewpoint is an exact comparison of reproductive rights in the way you’re looking at it. I was solely focused on the body autonomy aspect of the pro choice argument. Am I making sense? The consequences of that autonomy is another issue. An important one which I have a lot of opinions about however I don’t feel it’s relevant to my original argument. You may disagree and that’s fine.